


Return From Neverland

by GoldsJRZGirl



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Healing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prisoner of War, Romance, Soldiers, Strong Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:54:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 67,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1925793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldsJRZGirl/pseuds/GoldsJRZGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War mage Captain Rumple Gold returns from a top secret mission, wounded and scarred, both mentally and physically. Suffering from PTSD, can this broken hero be healed by his wife, Mind Healer Belle, and his baby girl, or will he be forever haunted by his captivity? A story of love, sacrifice, and healing. Rumbelle AU! Soldier!Rumple fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my entry for the FB OUAT Fanfic and Creations cover bunny contest...cover and title by Emilie Brown! This story will feature a very different version of Rumple and Belle, and also cover a topic that I have wanted to do with them both for a long time. This story is rated M for some violence and sensitive topics, such as PTSD and POWs, but will focus mainly on healing and therapy for such individuals. All disclaimers apply, written with great respect and love for actors Robert Carlyle and Emilie deRavin and also all our men and women in the armed forces, thank you for your service and your sacrifice.

When he limped off the deck of the Navy transport ship Jolly Roger, captained by Navy officer Killian Jones of the Royal Navy of Perelandria, a seafaring kingdom to the south of the Enchanted Forest, war mage and Captain of the company Magical Mayhem, Rumplestiltskin Gold was unsure of the reception he'd be getting. A veteran of the First Ogre War, he'd been drafted into the army as a naïve eighteen year old and given command as a corporal of a company, and later moved up to sergeant because his CO had bit it while engaging the enemy on a night maneuver. His heroic actions in saving a camp full of children from being eaten by the ogre battalion had resulted in his promotion to Captain . . . and commander of his own corps of magical personnel, Company Gold, nicknamed Magical Mayhem by his former commander, a sorcerer called Malcolm Pan.

Years later, Captain Gold and his company had been called upon again for a secret mission by the Royal Council of his homeland, the Enchanted Forest. Children between the ages of nine and twelve had been disappearing for over a year and no one could figure out how or why, until Rumple's son, Lieutenant Baelfire Gold, had gone undercover to Neverland, using a regression potion to pose as a child and see what was happening to all of these missing children. He discovered Neverland was home to the now notorious Commander Pan, Rumple former CO, who was using it as a base to bring captive children to and take their youth and strength in dark rituals.

Pan had become dark soon after returning home from the Ogre Wars, where he had stolen a dagger from a defeated ogre shaman. The dagger, known in their tongue as Dharka Ruus—the Dark One—was a cursed item, and it would make its wielder into a powerful dark mage. . . with the price being the wielder's soul. Instead of destroying the dagger, as he had been commanded to by the Council, Pan kept it, reasoning that he could handle such power, and he took the deal the cursed weapon offered, and fell into madness and eternal darkness, becoming a legendary Shadow Mage, and the next Dark One.

Driven from his homeland, Pan wandered for many years, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, until he suddenly vanished for years . . .only to be discovered on Neverland by Bae. Because of Rumple's reputation as a war hero, and commander of one of the finest magical companies in the history of the Forest Brigades, the Council requested Rumple and most of his company to go on a top secret mission—their objective—take down Pan and his allies and free whatever children remained and bring them home again.

Three months, two weeks, and five days ago, Captain Gold had boarded The Jolly Roger and set sail for Neverland, leaving behind his wife, Mind Mage and retired Lieutenant Belle Gold, and their sixteen-month-old daughter Abigail. He had walked into the jungles of Neverland, intending to complete his mission in a timely fashion and return home to his family.

He had very nearly never come out again.

It was only due to a daring rescue attempt by his son, Bae, master sergeant Emma Swan, Corporeal Jefferson "the Mad Hatter" Moreaux, his second son, Robin , Bae's fraternal twin, and his Aerial Specialist, a fae named Tinkerbell, that he was freed from his prison on Skull Rock, and managed to turn the tables on his former commander and put an end to him once and for all.

Now he came home . . .but he knew he was not the same man who had left. Due to Pan's brutal treatment and torture, he was now lame in his right leg, and had to use a cane, the Healers doubted if he would ever be able to walk without it for the rest of his life.

But what was worse than even the physical effects were the psychological ones. Pan had been an expert on mind games and control, and Rumple knew that the evil bastard had broken something within him during the eight weeks of captivity on Skull Rock. Something essential had been left behind. Refusing all attempts at a standard psych evaluation, Rumplestiltskin had pledge his word to the Council that he would submit to treatment at the hands of the one person he trusted most—his wife.

His hand gripping his new gold handled cane, Captain Gold made his way down the gangplank of the ship to the docks where a crowd had gathered. He squinted in the sunlight, wincing as the light seared his now sensitive eyes. After being held in a dark cell for eight weeks, the sunlight seemed almost surreal to him, as did the fact that he was able to move further than the sixty paces of his cell, and breathe air not tainted by the stench of dark magic and death.

He was followed by the members of his company, seven strong, all save for Belle. Next to him walked his fellow Captain, Regina Mills, commander of the Red Queens, an all-female company. On his other side was his new company Mind Healer, wet-behind-the-ears fresh out of the Healer Academy recruit Lieutenant Archie Hopper.

His foot caught on an uneven bit of wood and he stumbled.

"Sir, do you need some assistance?" Archie began, offering a hand.

"No thank you, Lieutenant. I'm fine," Rumple barked coldly, frustrated that he could no longer manage such a simple thing as walking.

"Of course, sir! Sorry, sir!" Archie flinched and gave a rather sloppy salute.

Regina rolled her eyes. "You don't need to salute all the time, Lieutenant."

"No, ma'am! I mean, yes ma'am!" the youngster blushed red as an apple.

"And don't mind Gold. He's always a beast before he's had three cups of coffee," she smirked at her fellow commander.

"That's the kettle calling the cauldron black, dearie," Rumple retorted, his mouth quirking in a rare smile. "I seem to remember some of your girls nicknamed you the Wicked Witch for biting their heads off before you drank yours."

Regina laughed. "Soldiers always bitch and moan, and my girls sometimes more than most of them." She linked her arm through Rumple's. "C'mon, Gold, walk the line. We'll give the locals something to see . . .unless you'd rather they remember you falling on your ass because you were too stubborn to take my hand?"

"That a proposition, dearie?" he smirked.

"In your dreams, Gold! You think I want Belle after me with her knives?" Regina snorted. "We'd both end up skinned and hung on a wall. Besides, Daniel and Henry are waiting for me."

With Regina's arm to steady him, Rumple made his way onto the docks.

Amid a burst of cheering and applause.

"Huh. Guess old Guisborne told people what we were really up to this time . . . instead of letting that newshound Glass find out about it beforehand," Rumple said.

"It's a miracle," Regina coughed.

Sydney Glass was the editor of the newspaper, the Magic Mirror, and notorious for digging up dirt on the military, even war heroes like Rumple and Regina. And General Guy Guisborne, head of the Intelligence Division of the Royal Armed forces, should have known better than to let that yellow bellied journalist get the jump on him last time, Rumple thought sourly.

Then again, when you were Black Ops and on a mission, only the success of that mission mattered, and only when it was over could you reveal the truth . . . and sometimes not even then.

Suddenly a tall dark-haired man in the uniform of a cavalry officer raced into view, carrying a little boy on his shoulder who screamed, "Mommy! Mommy's home!"

Regina pulled away from Rumple to greet her husband and son. "Dan! Henry!" she cried, and hugged them both in a smothering embrace.

Archie smiled and murmured to Rumple, "Funny, but I'd heard she was a tough-as-nails bitch on wheels, and yet . . .she's like any other mother with her kid over there."

The captain slanted him a wry look. "Something you need to learn, Lieutenant. She is a hardass bitch, just like I'm the beast's bastard, when we're on campaign. But when we come home again . . . we're like any other husband, wife, or parent . . . glad to be there and hoping to stay put."

"But . . . didn't you volunteer for the Neverland mission, sir?" the young Healer asked. "Captain Turner said your company was the first to do so, and then Captain Mills'. . ."

"That's true. We were . . . because Pan needed to be stopped and those kids gotten back and we were the best ones for the job. But if you think any of us were in it for the glory and honor of the corps or any of that bullshit, think again." Rumple said bluntly. "Here's something they'll never tell you at the Academy, dearie. The only place a soldier wants to be—is home. But until we get home . . .we're the meanest sons of bitches you've ever met, if that's how it has to be. Understand?"

Archie gulped. "Yessir!"

"Now, if you'll excuse me . . .that's my wife and baby girl over there," he indicated a petite woman in a pretty sapphire blue dress with puffed sleeves, her auburn curls wilting slightly in the summer heat, holding a golden brown-haired little girl in a pink rosebud dress with white shoes standing near a pillar. Her indigo eyes were also squinting from the sun, or else she would have seen her husband approaching.

But she was half-turned away, scanning the disembarking passengers, and half-deaf from the roar of the crowd and her little girl yelling, "Papa! Papa come home!" in her ear.

Rumple limped up towards her, intending to call to her, but before he could do so, she turned, as if pulled by an invisible thread, and their eyes met.

"Rumplestiltskin!" she cried, speaking his name as if it were a talisman to ward away the dark, trying to hide her shock at how thin he was, his leather uniform hung off his slender frame and his beautiful brown hair now had streaks of gray running through it. Then of course there was his leg, he had written to her about it, but even he had not prepared her for the reality of it.

"Belle!" he called, his face lighting up, and he limped the three steps to her side, and caught them both in a one armed hug.

"Welcome home, Captain!" she murmured and their mouths met in a brief kiss.

Until a tiny sprite suddenly launched herself at him, hollering, "Papa! Papa home!"

Gold staggered, trying to brace himself against the pillar as the child grabbed him about the neck. "Abby! How's my best girl? My gods, you're almost big enough to knock me down," he joked, trying to cover for his disability.

"Abby, be careful!" Belle scolded gently. "Papa's leg—"

"—it's fine, Belle," Gold cut her off abruptly, shifting his weight so the newly healed muscles weren't screaming at him. He kissed his daughter's cheek, hugging her and his wife in his good arm.

"Didja miss me?" the little scamp asked.

"I missed you—" he began.

"—all the way t'the moon n' back?" they recited together, and then she laughed.

"She doesn't miss a trick, does she?" he said to his wife. "Like her mama."

"She nearly climbed out the window the other day," Belle said, leaning her head on his shoulder. "And when I asked her what she thought she was doing she said she was gonna fly to Neverland and bring you home!"

"Little minx!" Rumple chuckled.

"I think I have a gray hair now," Belle teased. "See?" she held an auburn tress up for him to inspect.

Rumple pretended to examine it, and as he did so, the smoke from a chimney from the tavern on the docks floated over to tickle his nostrils.

And suddenly that innocuous scent caused his mind to spin back to the dark cell on Skull Rock, where he smelled the stench of burned flesh, his own and those of the captive children Pan needed for his sacrifices.

Once again he was in the dark cave . . . his nostrils filled with the burnt offerings of the sacrifices . . . hearing Pan's maniacal laughter over the screams of the children . . .

"Rumple!" Belle called, feeling the sudden shift in his emotions, as she sometimes could because of the bond between them, though she had shut it down at his insistence when he had left for Neverland. "Rumple, what happened?" she queried gently.

She could feel his heart racing beneath her hand, his eyes had suddenly gone dark with pain, and his breath had come in harsh pants.

"Nothing. I'm fine." But his eyes would not meet hers.

And Belle knew then that as his Mind Healer and therapist, she had her work cut out for her. My poor Rumple! What in hell did that bastard do to you? She pressed her lips to his cheek, feeling his skin was now clammy and cold, though they stood in the midst of the hottest part of the summer.

"Come on, Rumple. Let's go home. Before Abby gets cranky."

Putting her arm unobtrusively about his waist, Belle turned carefully, and they began to walk out of the crowd.

Only to be met at the edge of it by her two stepsons, Bae and Robin, and nearly picked up off her feet by their enthusiastic greetings.

Rumple leaned on his cane and watched as his sons hugged their stepmother, shaking his head. "Gods and hells, did I teach you two no manners?"

"Ooh, you said a bad word!" scolded his daughter, shaking her tiny finger at him. "Now you's gonna eat soap!"

Rumple looked chagrined. "Papa's sorry, sprite," he said, too late recalling that little pitchers had big ears. And that he was no longer among his company, and had better watch what he said. He gave her his best puppydog look. "Forgive me?"

Abby smirked at him. "Yup! I loves Papa!"

"Love you too, baby," he crooned, and buried his nose in her flyaway hair that smelled like strawberries, trying to erase the stench of burnt flesh from his memory.

Captain Gold had come home—a hero. Or had he?


	2. Midnight's Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Gold's homecoming starts out well . . .but ends with a startling nightmare

After her sons' enthusiastic greeting, Belle said, "So how are you two holding up?"

"We're good, Mama," Bae answered. Both he and Robin were also dressed in leather, but theirs was dyed to different shades of earth and green tones, unlike Rumple's plain black dragonscale. That was because he and Robin were Recon—Reconnaissance and Scouting—experts.

"We just wanna go home and unpack and get out of these uniforms," Robin said, his dark eyes glinting. "But we'll be back for supper." They lived in a small house along the same street as Rumple and Belle. And had since they were both eighteen and decided to move out of their parents' house and live together in one. The "boys" were now in their early twenties. "Hiya, Abby!" he turned to hug Abby.

The little girl held out her chubby arms to him. "Wobin!" she cried, lisping his name.

Robin picked her up and kissed her. "Hey, little love bug! How you been?"

She giggled. "Jus' fine n'dandy!" she responded, then she kissed him. "Mmma! Abby kiss Wobin!"

"How about me, sprite?" Bae asked, pretending to look sad. "You forget your older brother?"

"Bae-bae!" she screeched and almost wriggled out of Robin's hold. "Give kisses!"

"Whoa! You're slipperier than a squid that doesn't want to get caught," Robin cried, and handed his sister to Bae.

Abby threw her arms around Bae and gave him a smacking kiss on the mouth. " _My_ Bae-bae!"

Robin laughed. "I think someone's gonna be a wee bit jealous once she finds out about Emma, huh, Bae?" He elbowed his brother playfully.

"Uh . . . we'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Bae said, and kissed his sister back. Abby adored both her big brothers, but for some reason had formed a deeper attachment to him, probably because he had taken care of her once when both his parents had been out on an assignment with Robin. She had been only over a year and had developed a high fever and had convulsions. Scared him out of his life, but luckily the Healer had been able to bring the fever down using combinations of herbs and magic. Bae had taken care of the little girl ceaselessly all night. But ever since then, he'd been _her_ Bae-bae, as she called him since she couldn't pronounce Baelfire.

But recently, like just before they'd gone on the Neverland mission, Bae started dating Sergeant Swan. And while usually it was frowned on for an officer to date an enlisted person, since Emma was a master sergeant, she was the top rank for an enlisted, and so almost like an officer, so people looked the other way.

And Abby who generally got along with everyone, would probably throw a fit at seeing another woman so close with her brother.

He smiled at the little imp, who was the apple of everyone's eye in the merc barracks, Steeleville, which was a separate area, almost like a little village, where the merc companies, like Gold's Magical Mayhem and Regina's Red Queens, were quartered. "You been good, Miss Gold?"

Abby nodded seriously. "Uh huh. I twy."

"Yeah and I bet she tries harder than we ever did," Robin chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sure that's true," Gold drawled. "At least I don't have angry shopkeepers and merchants banging on my door demanding money for something you boys stole."

Robin spread his hands. "Uh . . . but we were performing community service, Papa. Robbing the rich and giving to the poor."

"Yeah, right. Marian DuBois was NOT poor, Robin!" Rumple wagged a chiding finger at him.

"You were stealing hair ribbons and brooches to give to her to get her to go out with you!" Bae hooted.

"And it worked, because she did!" Robin huffed. "And it was worth every minute of scrubbing latrines and Papa's spanking too." He pointed out. "And you were doing it right along with me, Baelfire, so let's not forget that."

"Kleptos, the pair of them!" Rumple sighed. "I damn near wore my hand out on you two."

Bae laughed. "And my butt hasn't forgotten it."

"Your poor father! You drove him insane," Belle said.

Abby looked from Bae to Robin to Rumple then piped up with, "You's _bad_ boys!" she made a tisking noise. Frowning, she added, "Papa no spank _me_ , cuz I's a good girl!"

They all laughed at that.

"She's right. She very rarely needs a swat," Belle said. "Though she has her moods at times. But all Rumple or I have to do is Look at her and she stops."

"The Look of Doom," Bae chuckled. "Yeah . . .that worked on me . . . sometimes."

"Me too," Robin recalled. "Except when we chose to ignore it."

"And then our butts regretted it," Bae murmured. He handed Abby back to Rumple. "Here, Papa. Take your angel girl home."

Rumple smiled as his baby nestled against his shoulder. "I'll see you two at 1700 sharp then."

"Yes, sir!" his sons said in unison.

"We'll bring a bottle of wine to celebrate," Robin promised, then he walked off whistling an old tune about a soldier coming home from war, his rucksack slung over his shoulder.

Bae followed a moment later, with Rumple and Belle bringing up the rear, moving slowly in deference to Rumple's leg.

Abby wriggled and said, "Down, Papa! Walk now!"

"Okay, but you hold my hand," he stressed to her. "Or else the hungry hungry monsters will come eat you up."

"No!" she yelped and when he set her down, she clung to his hand like a barnacle.

Rumple winked at Belle. "Works every time."

She smiled lovingly at him. "She missed you so much, Rum. And so did I."

"I know. But I'm home now . . .and will be staying home. Convalescent leave," he grimaced at his leg.

She touched his arm lightly. "And we need to schedule some sessions, Rumplestiltskin. You promised."

He scowled briefly. "I know. And my word has always been good." He had a reputation as a shrewd negotiator but his word was ironclad.

"If . . . you don't feel comfortable with that, you can always see Archie," she reminded him as they walked.

"No. That's the whole reason why I chose you, dearie. Because I won't have anyone _but_ you inside my head, not for any reason. You're the only one I trust enough to do that."

Belle nodded. As a Mind Healer and Empath, she was trained to travel inside a patient's mind to help them face their fears and confront their demons, and to heal what had been broken. But there was a level of trust that came with that sort of magic, and if the patient was not willing to trust his Healer, all of the sessions would fail. Rumple, she knew, trusted very few people to get inside his head, and therefore had requested that if he were to receive the standard treatment given to POW's, he wanted no one but Belle to be his Mind Healer. And the Royal Council valued him too much to fight him over this . . . they wanted their top magical soldier back in fighting form as soon as possible . . .and so they allowed it, even though normally such would not be the case.

"All right. Tomorrow then, we can begin," his wife said. She thought it best to start as soon as possible, since she knew nightmares had to be plaguing her husband. "But for tonight . . . let's celebrate that I have my boys safe and sound where they belong. Right, Abby?"

"Papa an' Bae-bae an' Wobin come home! Yay!" she screeched, then she pulled Rumple down the street towards their home, which was a two story maple home with salmon colored shingles and trim.

It was distinguished from every other officer's home by the climbing rose trellis and the ward posts on the house and grounds, which were triangular posts with silvery runes in them, Rumple's magic protecting his family from anything or anyone that meant them harm.

Rumple relaxed a fraction when he saw the familiar house . . .which he had raised two rambunctious boys and now his tiny sprite in and carried his beloved Healer over the threshold of to begin their married life together. He felt the familiar tingle of the active ward spell pas over him as they crossed the boundary and he thought, _you're home now, Gold. Now relax, you old beast._

He intended to do just that, because what he'd told the young Lieutenant was correct . . . the one place a soldier always longed for was home. And for him it had always been home and family, even when some of his family accompanied him on missions.

_Safe and sound, Rumple._ He smiled as he allowed himself to be towed up the walk and smelled the scent of roses and honeysuckles that permeated the air. It was good to be home.

Yet in the back of his mind, an unpleasant odor still lingered.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

_Later that night:_

Belle slowly undressed and sat on the side of the bed, combing out her hair. Rumple was just tucking their daughter into her bed and singing to her until she fell asleep, a fatherly duty she knew he enjoyed and had missed while away. She smiled as she heard his voice singing the refrain to the old lullaby, and ran the brush through her hair. She always brushed out her hair, one hundred strokes, like her mama had taught her, every night before going to sleep.

As her lush auburn tresses crackled around the brush, she considered letting down her shields to read her husband's emotional state. Normally an Empathic Healer, such as herself, never did so without permission, for such was considered an invasion of privacy, but she and Rumple shared a heartbond—a rare Empathic entwining of each other's hearts and minds, so that she could always feel him, on some level, even when he was thousands of miles away. Unless she was consciously blocking him out.

Which she had done, at his insistence, before he'd left on the transport to Neverland. But now that he was home, her heart cried out to remove the block and let her feel his golden presence again. But she hesitated. Perhaps it was too soon . . . and she'd better wait until tomorrow's session . . .

She hummed the lullaby's refrain while counting the strokes, and had reached twenty-five when she heard the tap of his cane upon the floor and she looked up to see him enter the bedroom.

"She asleep finally?"

"Yeah. After three stories, a drink, going potty, and me singing _Good Night Sleep Tight_ till I went hoarse," he laughed.

 

"You loved every minute of it, Captain Gold."

"You know it, sweetheart," he winked roguishly at her and went to sit beside her on the bed. "May I?" he held his hand out for the brush.

"Of course, love," she surrendered the brush to him and allowed him to continue the chore. As he brushed gently and firmly, she said, "You always did love brushing my hair, Rumple."

"Because I love how it feels beneath my hands," he murmured, smoothing the tresses with his scarred fingers. "Like watered silk on fire."

"The soldier with a poet's heart."

"I was a spinner before I was a soldier, dearie." He deftly untangled a knot, so lightly she barely felt it.

"I can tell." She leaned back into him, feeling the old rush of warmth and heat flow through her. She knew of no other man who could arouse her with the simple act of brushing her hair. But her husband could.

With each stroke of the brush, and the intoxicating smell of honey and lavender that wafted through his nostrils, Rumple felt his own libido awaken and clamor to be fed. And this time he didn't use meditation to send it back to sleep, as he'd done upon that accursed island. This time he let it out, and felt fire lick through him, a steady burning need that only one person could put out.

He set the brush aside. "One hundred, dearie. Now come to bed, please," he said, his eyes dark with passion.

Belle turned and wound herself around him. She always loved this side of him, the passionate side, but also the fact that, unlike most soldiers, he never took without asking. He was always polite and considerate of her needs as well as his own. And for that she loved him best of all.

She kissed him long and deeply. "I love you, my war mage. Now let me welcome you back home properly."

"Love you too, dearie. And I've been looking forward to this for a long long time . . ." and then he pulled her onto the bed and they lost themselves in each other, merging seamlessly together in a dance whose steps they knew like their own hearts.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

He dreamed of fire.

_Fire licked the outer walls of Skull Rock's cavern, the smoke and heat trickling insidiously into the porous rock and clinging to the walls, causing the children trapped inside to cough and gasp for air._

_Inside his cell, Captain Gold gasped too, the breath rasping in his throat . . . knowing that if he didn't get free soon he would roast here along with the other captives._

_He could hear the crackling hiss of the flames as they ate their way through the floor and the heat of the fire cloaked everything in a shimmering haze of hellish red mingled with the ever present shadows._

_Just when he was sure he was going to breathe his last upon the stone floor, his cell door was jerked open and he heard a familiar voice crying, "Papa! Let's get the hell outta this shithole!"_

_"Bae!" he coughed as he recognized his son._

_"You didn't think Pan could hide you forever on this rock, huh?" Bae said, coming to help him up off the floor. He swore when he realized Rumple could no longer stand on his own. "Gods, Papa, what'd he do to you . . .!"_

_"What he's always done. Destroyed my happiness . . ." Rumple gritted out. "Need a staff, Bae . . . and then you need to get them out . . . all the children . . . trapped . . . get them out!" he pleaded._

_"Shhh . . . okay, we'll get them out . . .I promise, but first let's get you out . . ."_

_He began to help Rumple out of the cell._

_As soon as he was free of the cell's magic, Rumple felt his powers return in a rush._

_And he used them, Fetching the children from their fiery inferno and depositing them safely outside upon the rocky beach. Some of them he was too late to save . . ._

He woke with the stench of fire in his nostrils and knew he had to save the children.

Half blinded by tears, he rolled out of bed, forgetting his cane, and cursed viciously when his damaged leg crumpled beneath him.

Clinging to the bed, he grabbed his cane and limped out the door, one thought in his mind.

_There was a fire and he had to save the children._

He knew there was a child here . . .the memory tickled him . . . and as he limped into Abby's room, he saw flames preceding him and licking up the walls.

Panicked, he went and snatched the sleeping child from the bed.

"Got to save you . . . fire . . .!" he rasped.

In his arms, Abby stirred. "Papa . . .mmmm . . .sleepy . . .!" Cranky from being woken up, she started to cry.

He hugged her to him. "Shhh . . .Papa's got you . . . gonna take you away . . . . don't be scared . . ."

Abby's thin wail roused Belle, and she woke to find her husband gone and knew instinctively something was not right.

"Rumple!" she called as she jumped out of bed, her Empathic senses screaming in warning.

Rumple was about to teleport away with a frightened Abby in his arms, his eyes wild and seeing things that weren't there, when Belle raced into the room.

She skidded to a stop when she saw her husband, his eyes not even tracking on her, but filled with an unnamed terror, holding her child, who was crying and whimpering. She dropped her shields then, and felt what he was feeling.

It slammed into her in a rush and she gasped softly, then her training took over and she compartmentalized the images and emotions. Back in control, she held out a hand and called softly, "Rumplestiltskin! Wake up! You're dreaming! There's no fire . . . your children are safe . . ."

He blinked. "Gotta save them . . . they'll die . . . burn to death . . ."

"Papa . . .sleepy . . .!" Abby howled.

He flinched. " . . . they're crying . . . I can hear them . . ."

In his head he heard the screaming of all the children whom he'd heard Pan torture . . . and he was helpless to save them . . .

"Useless . . . coward . . ." He slammed a hand down on his leg. " . . .can't do anything . . . gotta save the children . . ."

Belle tried again, reaching out with her power, trying to contain his rampaging flashback. As her min touched his with her empathic power, she crooned, "Rumple . . . listen to me . . . there's no fire . . . you're home . . . with me and Abby . . .now wake up . . . what you're seeing isn't real . . ."

"Of course it's real! I was there . . . I can hear them screaming . . ." He began to glow with a purple light, a prelude to using his powers to teleport.

"No!" Belle shouted, desperate to prevent that from happening. In this state, he could teleport them both into a wall or a tree. "Rumplestiltskin Gold—wake up!" she used her power then to cocoon the memory, sending it back to the dark recesses of his subconscious.

Rumple shook his head, confused. "What . . . where . . .?" he stared at the sobbing child in his arms and then at Belle. "Abby . . . hey, it's okay . . ." He patted her back. "Belle . . . what am I doing here . . .? She have a nightmare?"

"Sort of." Belle said. "Why don't you go back and lie down, Rumple? I'll be there in a bit, okay?" she didn't want to tell him about the flashback right away. Relief shot through her that she was able to halt him in time.

She came and took their daughter from him, whispering, "Hush, sprite, Mama's here and we're gonna go back to sleep, okay?"

Now that Rumple wasn't feeling the false energy of the flashback, he was suddenly weary and limped back to his room. His head felt muzzy and he laid down on the bed, feeling that something wasn't quite right.

Something happened to him . . .and he needed to know what it was.

After five minutes, Belle returned to the bedroom. "I sent her back to sleep, she's okay," she assured him. She had used a bit of her empathic talent to do so, soothing the child until she fell asleep again.

"Belle . . . what the hell just happened?" Rumple asked. "One minute I was asleep . . . and the next I was . . . holding Abby . . . and I can't remember how I got there!"

She came and curled up beside him. "You had a night terror, Rumple . . . one that you never fully woke from . . . and you thought you needed to save some kids from a fire . . . so you went and grabbed Abby out of her bed . . ."

"Oh gods!" he closed his eyes. "Flashback . . . gods dammit . . . I scared her, didn't I . . .?"

"You woke her up. She was more cranky than scared . . .but Rumple, you almost teleported with her," Belle said.

He shuddered. "I'm dangerous, Belle. I'm losing my mind! You need to bind my powers . . . lock me up . . . I don't want to hurt you or my baby . . .!"

"No! You're not losing your mind," she whispered, hugging him. "Rumple, it was a flashback. It happens . . . we can deal with it . . .and I'm not locking you away or binding your magic . . ." she declared fiercely. To bind a sorcerer's power, even for a short time, was agony and she refused to do it.

"Belle . . . I'm broken . . . cracked in two . . ."

"Then I'll fix you. Rumple . . .you need to trust me . . . please . . ."

"I do . . . you're the only one I trust . . ."

She stroked his hair. "Then let me help you, okay?"

"Yes . . . help me, please . . ." He felt tears dribble down his cheeks.

"Shhh . . . we need to talk about this . . . but you're tired, Rumple," she realized as she held him. His body was weary, it needed sleep. She carded his hair. "You need to sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow morning and you can tell me everything about the fire and the children."

"Belle . . . all the children . . . I tried to save them . . ." he sobbed. The guilt was tearing him to shreds.

"You did save them, Rumple . . .now they're at peace . . ." she reminded him for he had saved the children during the Ogre Wars. Her hand continued rhythmically stroking his hair. "Now rest, sweetheart . . . sleep . . . and dream no dreams . . ."

She touched his mind then, absorbing his pain and blanketing him with a soft fuzzy blanket of soothing peace and contentment and shoving the guilt away for the moment. It would be dealt with . . . must be dealt with . . . but not yet.

"Sleep . . .Rumple . . ."

Her hands glowed briefly, as she cast a simple spell that would send him into a deep restful sleep without dreams, for that was what he needed now.

Rumple cuddled against her, and his breathing evened and became steady, as he fell into the deep sleep she'd conjured.

Belle breathed a sigh of relief. That had been close. But thank the gods he trusted her enough to allow her to work such on him, because if he'd fought her, she would have never been able to counter his resistance, as he was a stronger mage than she was.

_My poor Rumple! But I will mend you! I will!_ She thought determinedly. For she would have her husband back—a whole man—no matter what it took.

Then she curled up beside him and fell into her own dreams, where she walked beside her beloved captain in a meadow of wildflowers, and Abby ran before them, picking them and throwing them all over, until she was surrounded by a blizzard of rainbow petals.

And the Gold house was at peace once again.


	3. Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumple has breakfast and then a little accident with Abby during bathtime, plus Belle begins sessions with her husband and discovers why Rumple feels so guilty and responsible for deaths on Neverland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, some of this chapter will be difficult to read, especially the end, but please let me know how it made you feel. Thank you! Also thanks to CJ Moliere for her help with certain scenes, especially at the end.

 

The next morning, Rumple woke at his usual time of 6:30 AM, and managed to go into the kitchen and start a breakfast of toast, corned beef hash and eggs over easy. He slid the eggs on top of the corned beef and put slices of toast beside each of their plates before he went to wake his sleeping beauties. He was now drooling because he hadn't had real food in over three months, since in the field you ate dried rations—dried beef, journey bread, and dried fruit and lentil sticks. Washed down with water, since on a mission no one was allowed alcohol. And on the ship it had been salt pork and fish and cornmeal mush. Rumple had learned quickly not to be picky about food, and unlike some commanders, he ate what his company did. But now he was drooling at the prospect of something that didn't taste like regurgitated wood pulp and smoked shoe leather.

The little family had just sat down to eat when there came a knock at the door and a boy's voice called, "Healer Gold? I'm here to milk the goat."

"That'll be Henry," Belle informed her husband at his quizzical look. "Okay, Henry!" she called. "Just leave the jug by the back porch and we'll pick it up."

"Why's he doing chores around our place now?" asked Rumple, cutting into his egg and eating it.

"He wants to earn money to buy a horse," Belle answered, feeding their daughter some. "So he's been doing odd jobs around the barracks to earn money. He milks the goat for me and grooms her, feeds her, and cleans her shed. And I pay him three silvers a week."

"Not bad." Gold nodded. He approved of starting children on a work ethic at a young age. Both the twins had to do chores and earn their own spending money . . . until they learned sleight-of-hand and thievery from a wandering minstrel and drove him crazy. He ate another mouthful and sighed in bliss. "Gods, I missed real food."

"I can tell," she said, indicating the way his shirt hung on him. Of course he'd been starved in prison, but she knew some of his lost weight had been because he'd been forced to work magic without proper meals. Using magic burned off a ton of energy and if you didn't replace it, by eating and drinking, it would drain your body, and cause you to lose weight.

"Here, sprite," she said, feeding Abby another mouthful of beef with egg.

The little girl grabbed the spoon. "I do, Mama!"

"Okay," Belle said, and allowed her to try and feed herself.

Rumple asked her about how she spent her day while he was gone. He ate as she talked, polishing off three eggs, two slices of toast and half of the corned beef hash he'd made.

"You want more?" Belle queried.

"No. I'll eat some fruit," he shook his head, and took a peach from the bowl in the middle of the table.

"Mmm!" Abby said, as she used her spoon to eat some more of her breakfast.

Rumple turned to her. "Is that good?" he began, then he started laughing. "Gods, you're a wreck!"

The little imp had egg all over her face, her night gown and pieces of egg and beef in her hair. "Yummy!"

"I think someone needs a bath," Belle said, chuckling. "Will you be okay giving her one, Rum, while I run to the market? They're having a special on fresh melon and Mistress Amelia's got her chicken vegetable pie today and I'd like to get some before they sell out."

"Go on. I'll be fine," he assured her. "I used to give the boys baths. I'm sure I can handle one itty bitty sprite. How much trouble could she be?"

"Just be warned. She likes to splash," Belle said.

"So did Bae and Robin. Once they made a flood all over the kitchen floor," Rumple recalled. "Here, Abby. Let me help." He took the spoon from her before more of her breakfast end up on her than in her.

"Noo!" she whined. "I do, Papa!"

"Ah ah!" he shook a finger at her. "No whining. First I'll give you some," Gold said, and gave her a spoonful.

Once she had eaten it, he let her guide the spoon to her mouth with his help.

"Good girl! My turn!"

In this way he got her to eat the remainder of her food.

Belle was glad that he wasn't fretting over the flashback and seemed relaxed with Abby and much more like his old self. She got the bath ready for him, they had one of the new hot water pumps in their cottage and she pumped in the water and used her magic to add some cold so it wasn't too hot and then added some liquid soap that smelled like melons and cucumbers. She tossed in Abby's favorite rubber duck and mermaid and a floating fish that spit water when squeezed.

"Okay, Rum. The bath's ready. Going to market. I'll see you in about two hours." She grabbed her string bag and left.

"Bye, Mama!" Abby waved from her chair.

"All right, Abby. Now we're going to have a nice bath and get all that sticky egg out of your hair," her father told her, and helped her down from her high chair.

He limped after his inquisitive toddler, who raced into the bathing chamber and squealed in delight.

He helped her out of her little nightie and she jumped into the water without any prompting, splashing all over.

"Imp!" the captain chuckled, and went to get a towel to put on the floor so he could kneel on it and start scrubbing her hair.

After he'd scrubbed her clean, he let her play with the toys, and soon discovered one of her favorite games was to squirt people with the fish.

He grabbed another fish and they had a water fight, and Rumple got soaked in the process, but found he didn't care.

It was summer and humid and he would soon dry out.

All too soon, he heard the clock on the mantle chime the hour and he said, "Time to get out and get dressed, Abby."

But the child loved her bath and shook her head. "No! Play, Papa! Splish splash!" and she splashed sudsy water all over.

"Ah, c'mon, sprite. You've been in there thirty minutes, you're gonna wrinkle up like a prune," he coaxed. "Or an old woman!"

Abby shook her head. "Nuh uh!" she grabbed the mermaid and had it dive while she sang some silly song about mermaids jumping.

Gold indulgently let her play for five more minutes, then said, "Okay, now you're all done. Let's get out!"

"No! I's playin'!" the stubborn imp insisted.

" _Now_ , miss!"

He used his commander's voice, the one that made even the biggest recruit in the barracks snap to.

Abby ignored him.

At a loss, he tried to recall what he'd done in the past to get the boys out of the tub, though he could recall having a harder time getting them into it than out. Finally, he came up with a brilliant idea.

"Okay . . .you can stay in the tub . . . if you wanna get eaten by the Water Demon. It eats little girls, starting with their toes!" and he skimmed his hand under the water and grabbed her little foot.

Abby screamed. "NO! No eat me!" She pulled her foot free and stood up.

"Good, now c'mere!" he reached for the slippery little imp to help her out.

But Abby decided she needed to get out right away, and scrambled over the side and onto the floor.

He went to grab a towel and said, "Now let me dry—hey! No! Abby, you little imp!"

For the child was running straight for the open door . . .stark naked and dripping wet.

"Abby!" he yelped, and reached for his cane.

No sooner had he got to his feet and started after the escaping child, his foot slipped on a patch of wet tile.

He forgot that he wasn't able to balance on his left leg any longer and as he tried to catch himself, it crumbled beneath his weight.

With nothing to catch himself, he tumbled to the floor, sitting down hard on his behind amid a puddle of soapy water, his cane clattering and rolling out of reach.

"Ahh, shit!" he swore.

Just as his little imp toddled out the door.

"Abigail! You come back here, young lady!" he bellowed.

But Abby was sure the monster was after her, and paid no heed to her papa, instead running to look for her mama, who had gone outside.

Now Henry had come and put the milk jug inside on the back porch and forgotten to latch the swinging door, and Abby pushed it open and ran outside, dripping soap and naked as a jaybird.

Meanwhile Rumple struggled to get to his feet, but kept slipping on all the water and soap and had to crawl across the room for his cane.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Robin and Bae were having a nice breakfast on their back porch, which faced their parents' yard, as they lived to the left of them. Bae was reading the Mirror and Robin was eating his pancakes with sausage when Bae heard his twin say, "Bae—streaker at three o'clock!"

"Aww, hells! Is Healer Whale drunk again?" his brother groaned. "Because I swear, we see more of his naked ass than he does his patients!"

"Nope . . .it's a baby streaker . . .specifically, our little sister," Robin reported, laughing.

Bae dropped the paper. "Hells, Rob! What are you standing there for?"

He sprinted over to the back door and yanked it open. "Abigail Gold! C'mere, you little imp!" he raced down the stairs and snatched up the child, wrapping her in his shirt, which he'd pulled off.

"Bae-Bae!" she giggled.

"Kid, what are you doing out here naked?" he asked.

"Runnin' from the bad monster," she replied. "Papa said it eated me!"

By then Robin had joined him. "Was Papa giving you a bath?" he guessed.

She nodded.

"Where's Mama?" asked Bae suddenly.

"At market."

"Bae? I think we'd better go check on Papa," Robin said.

"Okay, and then we need to put clothes on this imp," Bae said.

They walked over to the Gold house.

"Papa? You okay?" Robin called as they entered.

"Fine . . .I'm in here," they heard him call.

Robin went inside the bathing chamber.

He saw the floor covered with soapy water . . .and Rumple sitting in the middle of it, soaked, soapsuds in his hair, and looking about as happy as wet cat caught in the rain. "Papa . . .oh, gods . . .what happened?"

"What's it look like, boy? I've fallen and I damn can't get up!" his father snapped. "You find your sister? Or is she running down the street showing off her assets to the whole community?"

"No, Bae has her." Robin said. He went and held out his hand. "Here, let me help you up, sir." He waved a hand and the floor was dried.

Gold took it, and his son helped him up, and then summoned his cane and balanced on it.

Robin started laughing hard. "Papa . . . you look . . . like a drowned cat!"

Rumple scowled. "Sure, it's funny to you. _You_ weren't the one on the floor!"

"On the floor?! Rum, what happened?" gasped Belle, coming into the room with a basket on her arm. It was filled with a watermelon.

"Our daughter decided to jump out of the tub and I went to get her and I . . . forgot about my damned leg . . .and I fell," Rumple admitted sourly.

"We found him on the floor, Mama," Robin said.

"And this one running hell for leather through the yard," Bae said, coming into the room with a now dressed Abby.

"Heavens! Rumple, are you hurt?" Belle asked, concerned.

Rumple shook his head. He ran his hand down himself and was dried. "I'm fine, Belle."

"Are you sure?" she pressed.

"Yes, dearie! I landed on my ass, and only my pride's bruised," Gold coughed, flushing.

His sons smirked. "Oh, how the mighty Captain Gold has fallen!" Robin twitted.

"Yeah, you know what they say, Rob. Pride goes before a fall," Bae teased.

Rumple glared at them.

Belle giggled. "Oh, Rum! She's done it to me too, but I was able to get her before she ran out the door."

"You know, Papa, you're lucky you fell on your ass and not another part of your anatomy," Robin said with wicked smile. "Then you'd really be limping!"

Bae cracked up. "The limp of shame!"

"Robin Gold!" Belle scolded.

"Ohh . . . you's in twouble!" Abby declared.

"Watch yourself, boy," warned Captain Gold. "Otherwise I'm libel to forget you're too old for me to tan your backside and take you out back."

"Yeah, watch it, little brother," Bae grinned. "'Cause we all know how Captain Gold kicks everybody's ass."

Abby nodded. "An' he's the meanest sonuvabitch in the valley!"

Everyone remained frozen for a moment.

Bae and Robin had to run out of the room before they busted out laughing.

Finally Belle regained her power of speech. "Abigail Serena Gold!"

"You don't use that word, young miss!" her father scolded, giving her a Look. "Now you're tasting soap."

He picked up the naughty child and conjured the taste only of soap in her mouth for barely twenty seconds before banishing it.

"I sorry!" she bawled and buried her head in his shoulder.

"All right, just don't do it again," he said, and hugged her, patting her back. He looked at Belle. "Where on earth did she learn that?"

Belle shook her head. "I don't know. It's a military barracks, Rum. A lot of the soldiers don't watch their mouths. And you know how they gossip about you war heroes."

"Yes, I know."

She looked at him thoughtfully. "You know . . . we need someone to mind our smartypants here while we conduct our session."

"Well, our sons aren't too busy doing anything but having a good laugh in the kitchen," Rumple pointed out.

"Rob! Bae!" she called to the two scouts.

"Yeah, Mama," Robin stuck his head around the door frame.

"We need you two to watch your sister while I have a quick session with your papa," Belle informed him.

"Sure. Hey, sprite, you wanna come and get your picture drawn?" he held out his arms for his sister. "Bae's gonna draw it."

"I comin', Wobin!" she cried, and wriggled out of Rumple's arms and over to her brother, who picked her up and went into the kitchen, where his artistic twin was sitting at the table with a piece of parchment and a pencil.

Once her daughter was occupied, Belle took Rumple into her office workroom, which was a special room she had created where she treated her patients. It was soundproofed with magic, so no one outside it could hear what was discussed within, and shielded with magic from anyone trying to See or interrupt them with any sort of magical device or mind ability. No one could even use magic inside the workroom, save for herself. When a patient came to her to be treated, they signed a contract that agreed to being within this room, and the non use of magic while they were within it. Unlike a binding spell, it didn't hurt the mage, since it did not bind so much as blanket their powers for the duration of a session.

Mind Healers were trained specifically to treat the magical soldiers of the Forest Brigades, the mundane soldiers had regular therapists to treat them. Inside the room was a table and chairs with a teaset and tea, and a loveseat with comfortable pillows.

Belle began her session with her husband as she did all of her patients, by serving him some kava tea, which was an herbal tea designed to relax and reduce stress. Together they drank the tea, and Belle lowered the shields over her mind so she could assess his emotional state.

She found his emotions were bubbling just below the surface, a cauldron of guilt, regret, and pain. "Rumple," she crooned. "I need you to relax."

"I'm trying," he muttered.

"Come, let's sit down on the sofa," she invited.

When he had done so, she began to gently massage his temples. He leaned his head on her shoulder and let her fingers soothe away all the tension.

"Okay, Rumple. Now I'm going to walk through your mind . . . we're going to go back to the day when the fire occurred . . .so I can see what happened . . . ."

She closed her eyes, and slipped into his mind.

At first he resisted her, a natural defensive mechanism.

But she waited and then he lowered his own shields and let her in. As she entered his memory . . .the world around her vanished as she walked into the hell called Skull Rock . . .

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

_The darkness was like a living thing, it whispered and flowed around him like a shadowy cloak. He could feel it trying to suck the life from him as he crouched on the floor of his cell, like an animal. He pushed it back the only way he could, by thinking about his home . . .the salmon shingled house back in the Enchanted Forest, his beloved Belle working in the yard, trimming the roses that climbed all over the trellis, while their little girl played in the grass with her doll. The sun was shining and the sky an endless blue._

_He shut his eyes and imagined the scene before him, desperate to recall anything except the awful reality that was the stone prison he was incarcerated in. The walls were porous, so he could hear the shush of the waves on the rock, and the whimpers and screams of the children Pan used in his beastly experiments and enchantments to stave off the ravages of time and give him energy and power. Like a psychic vampire, he fed off the fear and terror of his victims, and when needed, could drain them dry with a few touches._

_People all thought every dark mage took hearts and crushed them, but that was only the most obvious of the dark magic spells. There were other ways to kill, to harm, and Pan knew all of them. There was the Withering Touch, the Burning Plague, the Life Drain. And he used all of them upon his chosen victims._

_Rumple could hear the screams of the children in his dreams . . .and see them too, for one of the ways Pan tormented him was to freeze him to a spot in his workroom and make him watch as he hurt them, for he knew well how that tore Captain Gold, the great liberator of children, to shreds. Helpless to save them, or even assuage their suffering . . .Rumple could only watch as their precious lives were ripped away . . .and inside he screamed and sobbed._

_"Surrender to me, Gold," hissed the Dark One. "And their pain will end, their torment cease. Just surrender."_

_"I would . . . but I know you'll not keep your end of the deal. You never did," Rumple rasped. "And you'll take my power and grown stronger, and destroy everyone. So no . . . I'll not surrender . . .black deceiver . . .go prostitute yourself in hell, Pan, and screw demons . . ."_

_But he had wept for the children lost . . .and back in his cell wished only for the nightmare to end . . . one way or another._

_His company was still out there, with Regina's as well, and he knew if it were possible his sons and friends would try and rescue him, but he was losing hope as each day passed into the next. Time was an endless thing upon Skull Rock, creeping along at a snail's pace._

_That night as he crouched in his cell, waiting for Pan's ritual to begin, his left leg a throbbing mass of torn muscles, bruised flesh, and broken bones, he felt more than saw the flash of heat that occurred outside his cell._

_Fire._

_As the heat and light increased, so did the whimpers and cries of the children._

_insidiously into the porous rock and clinging to the walls, causing the children trapped inside to cough and gasp for air._

_Inside his cell, Captain Gold gasped too, the breath rasping in his throat . . . knowing that if he didn't get free soon he would roast here along with the other captives._

_He could hear the crackling hiss of the flames as they ate their way through the floor and the heat of the fire cloaked everything in a shimmering haze of hellish red mingled with the ever present shadows._

_Just when he was sure he was going to breathe his last upon the stone floor, his cell door was jerked open and he heard a familiar voice crying, "Papa! Let's get the hell outta this shithole!"_

_"Bae!" he coughed as he recognized his son._

_"You didn't think Pan could hide you forever on this rock, huh?" Bae said, coming to help him up off the floor. He swore when he realized Rumple could no longer stand on his own. "Gods, Papa, what'd he do to you . . .!"_

_"What he's always done. Destroyed my happiness . . ." Rumple gritted out. "Need a staff, Bae . . . and then you need to get them out . . . all the children . . . trapped . . . get them out!" he pleaded._

_"Shhh . . . okay, we'll get them out . . .I promise, but first let's get you out . . ."_

_He began to help Rumple out of the cell._

_As soon as he was free of the cell's magic, Rumple felt his powers return in a rush._

_And he used them, Fetching the children from their fiery inferno and depositing them safely outside upon the rocky beach. Some of them he was too late to save . . ._

_He leaned upon the strong arm of his son and they moved down the twisty corridor and then Bae teleported out onto the beach with his father. He conjured a staff for him and splinted the leg magically, he was no Healer but all of Magical Mayhem knew basic field medic spells, enough to keep a companion from dying if not mortally injured, until they were able to get medical attention._

_"Stay here, sir!" Bae told him, now that they were among mixed company again, he would address his father by his rank, as was proper. "I'm going back to get the kids out!"_

_But even as he would have teleported back inside, Regina, the Captain of their sister company, the Red Queens, grabbed his arm. "No, Lieutenant! You can't! The fire's too hot . . . you'll burn to death!"_

_"I can shield!" Bae argued._

_"Not long enough," she shook her head regretfully._

_"But . . . there are still kids in there, dammit!" Bae yelled, his face smeared with soot._

_"I know . . . but we can do nothing. The rock . . .we never expected it to burn like this . . .I'm sorry . . ."_

_Behind her Rumple swore a blue streak, but he knew she was right._

_He looked around at the twenty-five children he had managed to save . . .all of them coughing and huddled on the ground while Regina's company and his killed the Shadow Folk that Pan had summoned._

_"Where is he?" Rumple called to Regina. "Pan? Where is he?"_

_"Dead. Your sons broke the hourglass that stored most of his power and he withered away like a shadow in the sunlight."_

_He smiled grimly. "Good. That's good." Then he watched as the flames licked up the sides of the skull shaped rock and hissed, "We need to get off this gods forsaken rock."_

_"I know." Regina shook her head._

_"Where's Jeff?" Rumple asked hoarsely. "He can call up a portal."_

_"Here, sir," said his Portal Mage, appearing by his left shoulder._

_"Well, what are you waiting for, a royal invitation?" he snapped. "Do it, corporal!"_

_"Yes, sir," Jeff said, and threw his hat onto the ground. It was his focus, and it whirled around and created a glowing green portal._

_Regina called to her soldiers to get the children up and moving. "Kids first, then injured, then the rest of us! Move your ass, people!"_

_When Archie would have dragged Rumple through the portal, the captain snapped, "Leave off, Hopper! I stay till the last of my men are through!"_

_"But, sir! You're a casualty!"_

_"Doesn't matter. Now you move your ass through that portal before I make **you** a casualty, Lieutenant! Go!"_

_Archie obeyed, knowing better than to refuse. Captain Gold did not tolerate insubordination._

_Finally Jeff was the last one remaining, and Gold leaned on the corporal's arm and they went through together, since a Portal Maker must always go through last to close the portal._

_They emerged upon Neverland's main island, on the sandy beach just across from Skull Rock._

_Flames crackled and leaped into the sky, and the soldiers gently herded the children before them into the makeshift huts they had established on the beach. Some were in shock, and those who were injured received medical attention from Regina's medic, a woman named Aurora._

_Rumple sat upon a log where Jeff had deposited him after coming through the portal. He saw Robin speaking to Tink, the fae who was the company's Aerial Specialist, and Bae coming back from a trip into the jungle, wiping his mouth._

_Rumple knew he'd gone to vomit, since it was what he always did after coming through a portal. Bae was a portal sensitive, meaning using one made him puke his guts up afterwards._

_Emma, his master sergeant, and a Sun Mage, meaning she could summon sunlight at will, paused and asked Bae if he were all right._

_"Yeah. It's just my usual problem," he replied._

_She glanced over her shoulder at their commander. "And how's the captain?"_

_"As well as can be expected," Bae answered._

_Rumple sat on the log, his head in his hands. His leg throbbed, but it wasn't that pain that was making him sick to his stomach. It was knowing that the innocent children inside Skull Rock had died when his people had rescued him from Pan. He knew that casualties were expected in any mission, but he felt that something could_ _have been avoided_.

_Then they all headed back to the temporary base camp they set up in the jungle. The healers worked on his leg until they couldn't do anything more, and then Captain Gold went into his makeshift office and brooded. Finally he called in his son, Recon Scout Robin Gold._

_"Rob, what happened over there? How did that fire start?"_

_"It was that hothead, Zelena," he answered. "You remember her? She's always trying to upstage Regina."_

_"Regina's bastard half-sister," Rumple grunted. "They say she only made officer rank because of who she's related to. What'd she do?"_

_"She waited until Regina and the others were out of sight and she and two others set the torches to the place. By the time Regina figured out what was going on we had to move quickly to get everyone out!" Robin said truthfully. "The plan was to go in, get you out, get the kids out, and leave...nothing else."_

_"Sonuvabitch!" Rumple swore. His eyes flashed molten gold. "Bring the Lieutenant to me, Mr. Gold. NOW!"_

_Robin saluted and scurried off to locate her._

_Gold waited in his office, seething. He had known instinctively something had been screwed up, and he'd been right. Situation Normal, All Fucked Up, he thought sarcastically._

_In the barracks, Zelena had been boasting about how it was due to HER efforts that the rescue of Captain Gold had been a success and how deserving she was of a medal._

_The other Red Queens were shaking their heads, waiting for the braggart to tried for her recklessness._

_Thankfully Regina was unaware of her half-sister's boasting or she would have the girl's head on the wall._

_The officer was still smiling when Robin came for her, stating that Captain Gold requested her presence. To be in the same room with the legend himself...it was the greatest honor she could ever have._

_She was expecting a hero's welcome...but learned quickly it was not what she would get._

_Rumple glared at her ferociously, not caring that half the encampment could see and hear what went on. He wanted to tear this little preening witch a new one, and he was going to do so._

_"Lieutenant Greene, when you were on Skull Rock, repeat to me your mission objectives," he said coldly. Zelena went by her father's last name, even though she was a bastard._

_"To rescue you and any other prisoners inside, sir," she replied._

_"To rescue me and any other prisoners, correct. Now, did by chance those orders include lighting the gods damned place on FIRE?" he growled, his voice the rasping snarl of the beast he'd sometimes been called._

_"No, sir but..."_

_"But nothing! Are you or are you not an officer in the army?" he roared._

_"Yes, sir!"_

_"And doesn't your oath state, I shall obey the orders of my superior officer to the best of my ability, Lieutenant?"_

_"Yes, sir but...the Captain was stalling and there may have been wards set up to prevent any intrusion and..."_

_He had to understand, he just had to! She hadn't anticipated anyone still being trapped when they set the fire._

_She regretted that but hadn't many others survived thanks to her efforts?_

_Rumple made a sharp slashing gesture and snarled, "The actions of your captain are not up for you to criticize, especially not in a hostage situation! How many rescue extractions have you been on? I'll tell you how many. None! Because you're a fresh out of the Academy snot who's only claim to fame is your mother and sister were company commanders! You have no experience whatsoever in that area. You were supposed to follow orders, Lieutenant!"_

_"She was delaying!" Zelena insisted._

_"And she probably had a damn good reason for it!" Gold growled. "Your grandstanding caused a major SNAFU, Greene! You caused innocent children who had already suffered torments of the damned by that fucker Pan to DIE!" His hands clenched as he fought to keep his magic from lashing out. "Children died for nothing! On my watch! Because you wanted to play fucking hero!"_

_"I didn't know..." she stammered._

_"You should have! You're an officer . . .it's your job to know . . . to use your head and think, not react! Instead you did something the lowest recruit knows NOT to do. You took matters into your own hands . . .without clearance from your captain . . .and look what happened! Over twenty kids roasted to death in that inferno. And you know how I feel about that! Saving kids got me this!" He indicated his captain's bars on his leather jacket._

_She bowed her head in shame, his words hitting home. At the time, setting the cavern ablaze sounded like a good idea, now she realized it was the worst mistake she could've made. Twenty dead..._

_And it was her fault...all of it._

_The usually calm and collected young soldier trembled and slumped against the wall._

_"You're going to go before a conduct review board when this is all investigated, Lieutenant. And you'll be lucky if they don't strip you of your rank and dishonorably discharge you . . .after you've served time." Gold declared. "And this time, girl, your name won't save you."_

_Still shaking, she let loose a blood curdling scream._

_She tore at her hair, her clothing and anything else in the vicinity, still screaming._

_Gold walked over to her and shook her hard. "Stop the dramatics, young lady! You screwed up, now you behave like an officer and deal with it. Enough of this childish behavior!"_

_She broke free from his grasp and ran around the room screaming, knocking things over._

_"Lieutenant! You're behaving like a two-year-old!" he snapped. "Knock it the hell off before I treat you like one!"_

_"Not my fault...not my fault...she stalled!" the woman screamed in a childlike voice._

_"SHE ALWAYS GETS ME IN TROUBLE! I HATE HER!"_

_"Lieutenant, enough!" he pulled her head up and stared into her eyes. "Stop acting like a child! No one got you in trouble but yourself."_

_Rumple wasn't sure if the girl needed a session with a Mind Healer or a trip over his knee._

_"They all say I'm a bastard but I'll show them...I'll show them all I can be better than her.." she was laughing."I'll get Captain Gold out and I'll get all the glory while she gets nothing!"_

_Crazy bitch! Rumple thought. He summoned Archie through his mental link, which was something he had with all his company while in the field._

_Archie hurried into the room, saluting. "Sir?"_

_"Lieutenant Hopper, I need you to evaluate Lieutenant Greene's mental state and tell me whether I need to give orders to have her placed under immediate care of a Mind Healer. She seems to be having a regression episode."_

_"I'll get started right away. Lieutenant Greene...?"_

_He kneeled in front of the young woman and took her hands in his. Her mental shields were weak, allowing him to see clearly._

_He frowned. "I would strongly recommend it Sir, but make certain it is a strong one. She's trying to block me..."_

_Rumple scowled. "Very well." He grabbed a form off his desk and scribbled on it. Then he touched Zelena on the back of the neck and muttered, "Sleep, Lieutenant."_

_She crumpled to the floor, snoring loudly. "Hopper, call up some orderlies and get her transferred to your area immediately."_

_"Yes, Sir." Archie shook his head."A disgrace...that one."_

_"Yes. I'll inform Captain Mills about this myself." Gold said._

_"I will get to the bottom of this, Sir," the young Healer vowed._

_"You're a good soldier, Hopper. Don't let her snowjob you," Rumple said._

_He had his suspicions that the young woman was feigning madness to avoid her punishment for her actions, her mental shields hadn't completely blocked him._

_"I won't, sir. She is a clever one, but not skilled enough to fool a Healer."_

_Rumple nodded. "And if, in fact, she was shamming, and it's revealed she faked insanity to avoid her court martial, I'll boot her ass out of the army myself!"_

_"That would be wise, Sir. Her previous actions are a cause for great concern."_

_"Irresponsible little twit!"_

_"So many lives lost..."_

_The orderlies arrived and carted Zelena away. But though the witch was gone, the taint of her actions still hung in the air . . . and Captain Gold felt the guilt settle on him like a mountain._

_"I know, Hopper. I'll need to write condolence letters to their families . . .if we can figure out who they were."_

_"Sir...you are not blame for this tragedy..."_

_He gestured and the mess Zelena created in his office was straightened. If only the guilt would be so easily conquered. He looked sadly at his Lieutenant. "Hopper, she may have set the fire, but it was done because of me. Therefore the responsibility for it is mine."_

_He wished he could offer some assistance to the captain but it was made clear that the captain would allow no one else but his wife inside his mind._

_"I know you have given orders that you will only allow your wife to work with you...but if you change your mind my door is open."_

_Gold's mouth quirked. "Thanks for the offer, Lieutenant. Now get, you probably have appointments to keep. The old beast will be fine. Remember, I can kill twenty ogres, a platoon of trolls, and kick a dragon's ass all before breakfast."_

_He was repeating a common tale told around the barracks to new recruits._

_The healer chuckled. "And twice on Sundays...thank you Sir. I'll be going now."_

_"Dismissed."_

_The Healer saluted him a final time and left the room._

_Then Captain Gold was left alone . . .to brood and weep over the tragedy that had occurred, trying to shoulder responsibility for the deaths of innocents that should have never happened._

Belle brought them out of the memory trance in three heartbeats.

Rumple blinked and said hoarsely, "So now you know what went on that night. And how it's my fault those kids died."

"Rumple...you were a prisoner. The fault lies with Zelena. She started the fire and her sister should've had a firmer grip on her."

"But it was because of me it was done . . .to rescue me," he said, his eyes filling with tears. "Gods, they should have left me to die . . .and just gotten the kids out . . . Pan was dead, the mission was a success . . ."

"And leave our child without a father? Me without my husband?" she asked sadly. "Lives still would have been lost regardless. Robin said it wouldn't have mattered. The fire was too far beyond control that even if they had left you there, those children would have died."

"I still feel responsible, Belle. I made my career, my reputation, on the fewest civilian casualties on record. I'm the damned hero of the Ogre Wars! Captain Gold, children's savior! I saved all the children in that camp . . .and yet . . .in one damned hour . . .she made me a murderer . . ."

"Rumple, she is the murderer. You were in captivity...there was nothing you could've done to prevent it. If anyone should feel as equally responsible along with Zelena, it is Regina. If she suspected one of her officers was unstable, she should have recommended she be removed from active duty."

From what information she'd gathered, Regina did have those suspicions but whether she made a request for Zelena's removal was something she was determined to find out.

"Perhaps she should have. But Belle . . .when I was first brought there . . .Pan kept me for awhile with some of the kids he'd taken . . .Lost Boys, he called them . . .and I promised one of them . . .this little dark haired imp that reminded me of Bae and Robin . . .his name was Troy . . .I promised I get him home . . . that my people would free them . . .and she made me break my word, Belle . . .the only thing I could send home to his mother . . . was a condolence letter . . .because he died . . ."

He began to cry then, burying his face in his hands.

And it was this child's face she now knew that haunted her husband's dreams at night.

She gathered him into her arms and held him tightly, not ready to give up. She would fight for him, for their love until the bitter end.

The battle in Neverland was over, but the war on the homefront would not be over for a long time.


	4. A Pleasurable Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Golds and Mills go on a picnic and Rumple realizes something and Regina has a surprise to tell Daniel.

**A Pleasurable Interlude**

 

After dredging up those awful memories, Belle decided enough was enough for that morning and halted the sessions. Rumple insisted they keep going, but Belle refused. “Who’s the Healer here, Captain, me or you?”

 

“You are, dearie,” he acknowledged.

 

“Then trust me to know when it’s time to stop,” she said, kissing him lightly. She poured him another cup of kava and they just sat there on the sofa, not saying anything, just reveling in the fact that they were together again at last.

 

She leaned her head on Rumple’s shoulder and let him card her hair, something he loved to do and that relaxed him.

 

Rumple sipped his tea and tried to just revel in the moment, and not think about the events on Neverland right then. His past still haunted him, and he knew it wouldn’t be conquered in one day, and there were still condolence letters for him to write to grieving families, even though he knew the Council archivists usually took care of that, he felt he owed it to the families of those dead children to write his own regrets, with more of a personal tone to them then the standard— _The General Staff of the Forest Brigade Magical Forces regrets to inform you that . . ._

 

He also wanted to contact Archie again and ask him what his evaluation was on Lieutenant Greene, but right then he just wanted to hold his wife on the couch and doze with her in his arms. _I’ll sleep in your embrace at last._ And he did, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes.

 

Until a crash from the kitchen and Bae’s voice chiding Robin for not watching Abby woke both Rumple and Belle from their peaceful slumber.

 

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

About three days later, because Belle thought they needed to get out of the house and do something fun, she arranged a family picnic along with Regina, which happened to coincide with the local summer fair that was always held at that time of year. Troops of acrobats and mimes and jugglers, as well as illusionists from all over the Enchanted Forest and animal trainers and soothsayers and local people selling their produce and handmade items came and set up shop on the parade ground.

 

Belle spread a thick checked blanket of purple and blue squares out on the grass just up the hill from the fair and anchored it to the ground with a quick spell. She had brought pillows for Rumple to rest his leg on, since it was aching this morning, and all manner of food and drinks were set out by her and Regina. The family sprawled on the grass, munching on crispy fried chicken legs, creamy potato salad, pickles, ham sandwiches, wedges of sharp yellow cheese, carrot and cucumber salad, and Regina’s famous apple turnovers and Rumple’s little iced ginger cakes. There was honey mead and berry wine for the adults and apple cider and cold sweet tea for the children, which were only Henry and Abby. Emma and Marian came over to join their suitors on the picnic blanket, and soon Robin and Marian and Bae and Emma rose and went off to talk a walk through the fair, joking and laughing about kissing their love at the kissing booth and winning a prize for the best kiss.

 

Henry begged Regina for a few silvers to go and play some games down at the fairgrounds, hoping he could win a prize at the ring toss or the coin toss, and scampered away, leaving Daniel, Regina, Belle, Captain Gold, and Abby still on the blanket.

 

Gold, his bad leg propped upon pillows from the living room sofa, looked over at Regina, who was reaching for a piece of chicken, and asked, “Have you heard anything from Archie yet about your sister?”

 

Regina, who was wearing a red dress with her company’s patch sewn on to the left sleeve, an apple with a golden crown around it, paused with the chicken halfway to her mouth and said, “You mean he didn’t tell you yet, Rumple? They found after a day or two that she was faking being crazy to avoid her court martial and were going to ship her off to the stockade when she pulled a runner. Deserted, just like that.” The commander of the Red Queens shook her head. “I couldn’t believe it, but there you are. I sent trackers after her but I doubt if we’ll find her this side of the forest. I’m sorry, Rumple. She’s a disgrace to my family name and to my company. I’ve had her name stricken from the rolls and declared dishonorably discharged.”

 

“I’m sorry too,” he said sincerely, for to be associated with one such as that was shameful for the family. Regina didn’t deserve that, but because of her sister’s actions, now she had a blot on her family reputation.

 

“She was no good,” Daniel declared hotly. He was in the cavalry, different branch, but the same Magical Forces, and he had never liked Zelena from day one. “Always had a snide comment and she tried more than once to cozy up to me,” the dark haired officer sneered. “My own sister-in-law . . . pawing me like some tart in a tavern!”

 

Regina stared at him, nearly dropping her chicken. “Dan, you never told me that!”

 

“Didn’t want to bring it up,” her husband sighed. “Cause I knew you’d kill her over it. But now . .. “ he shrugged.

 

“You’re right. I would’ve,” Regina agreed. She went to bite into her chicken leg again and an odd expression crossed her face.

“Love, are you all right?” Dan asked, when his wife suddenly dropped the chicken leg on her napkin and bolted for the small copse of trees nearby.

 

Frowning, Belle followed. “Regina? Are you okay?”

 

The sounds of retching followed, then Regina emerged from the tree, pale and wiping her face with another napkin. “I . . .don’t know. All of a sudden I smelled the chicken and I really wanted to eat it and then . . .I felt like I was gonna puke and . . .”

 

“You don’t think it was something you ate?” Belle probed.

 

She shook her head.

 

“Would you like me to heal you? Maybe you have some kind of stomach flu?”

 

Regina nodded. She had never been very good at healing magics, barely able to fix scrapes on Henry.

 

Belle went and took the other mage’s hand, letting her Healing power flow through her, and asses the problem.

 

Meanwhile, Abby crawled out of her papa’s lap after he’d wiped her face of crumbs and frosting from her ginger cake, and proceeded to dance around in a circle, singing in her childish sweet treble, “Ring around a rosy, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall . . . DOWN!” Then she threw herself onto the grass, landing on her bottom, her little rose colored ruffled spring dress billowing about her. She giggled and wriggled her bare feet, as she had taken off her shoes again, her honey brown curls bouncing about her face.

 

Daniel smiled at her. “She’s gonna be a heartbreaker, Rumple. You’re gonna have to beat all the boys off her with sticks when she’s old enough to date.”

 

“Nah. I’ll lock her in a tower,” Rumple joked. “Or just turn all the boys into snips, snails, and puppy dog tails,” he chuckled, referring to the old nursery rhyme about what little boys were made of.

 

Daniel laughed too. “I’d be the same if I had a baby girl.” He glanced toward the trees. “I wonder what’s wrong with Gina? I hope it’s nothing serious.”

 

“Belle will know,” Rumple replied calmly. Besides being a certified Mind Healer, Belle was also able to diagnose and treat many physical ailments, though she didn’t have a technical degree in that branch of magical medicine.

He grunted slightly as Abby threw herself onto his stomach. “Hey, snippet! You want to make me throw up?”

 

Abby bounced on him, smiling her sunny grin. “Papa, play ring round the rosie!”

 

Gold winced, wishing he could. Before his torture, he could have happily played with her. “Precious, I can’t. Remember, Papa hurt his leg?”

 

Abby patted the injured leg. Then she bent and kissed it. “All better now?”

 

“I wish, dearie,” her father said regretfully. But her heartfelt gesture touched him and he cuddled her to him. “But thank you for trying.”

 

He kissed her cheek. “Why don’t you sit here with me and take a little nap?” he suggested, knowing it was close to that time and if she didn’t rest, she would be unbearably cranky.

 

Abby squirmed. “Nooo! Wanna play!” Her foot poked him in a rather sensitive place.

 

Gold bit back a swear word. “Abigail Gold!” he snapped. “Quit squirming like a hooked fish!” He moved her over so she couldn’t kick him there again.

 

She wriggled again, not wanting to obey him. “Papa . . .” she whimpered.

 

“Hush, snippet,” he ordered in his firm quiet tone. He gently put her head down on his shoulder, he was wearing a toned down version of his uniform, with his Magical Mayhem signature patch on his right sleeve—a gold spinning wheel with two crossed purple daggers in front of it. All the mage companies had their own company crests, invented by their founders and no two were alike. Rumple’s company had been the Dark Ones before Pan left and he took it over, changing the name to Magical Mayhem and adding the spinning wheel to the crest, since that’s what he was also known for, spinning straw into gold.

 

He began to pat his daughter’s back, rubbing his hand up and down it. Familiar with this procedure, his child settled, sucking her thumb as he moved his hand, down her back to her bottom, wearing the spelled ruffled panties Belle had put on her this morning in case she had an accident before she reached the potty. He patted her little behind soothingly, murmuring in his lilting voice, “Sleep now, my lass, sleep and sweet dreams.”

 

Daniel took a pull on his flask of mead and thought again how he wished to have another child, a girl this time with Regina’s gamin grin and spunky attitude and his ability to ride horses.

 

Near the copse of trees, Belle withdrew her hand from Regina’s and said brightly, “Well, Captain Mills, I can tell you you’re not sick . . . at least not from any kind of infection.”

 

“Then what’s wrong with me? I love your chicken, Belle.”

 

“What’s wrong with you will be cured in eight month’s time,” Belle grinned.

 

Regina’s jaw dropped open. “You mean I’m . . .”

 

“Yes. Captain Mills, you’re expecting!” Belle announced, then she hugged her friend.

 

“I’m going to have a baby again!” Regina cried, feeling tears mist her eyes. She had tried so hard after Henry to have another, but her career and Daniel’s often kept them apart for months at a time, and then for some reason she had always had difficulties in that area . . . “I can’t wait to tell Daniel! We were talking just the other night about having another now that I was on a long hiatus . . .”

 

As they started walking back towards their husbands, Captain Gold put a now sleeping Abby down next to him on another blanket and pillowed her little head in his lap. As he carded his daughter’s hair, he saw Belle and Regina coming towards him.

 

“Everything all right, dearie?” he called to his fellow commander. He had been Regina’s mentor during her stint in boot camp, and he still felt somewhat protective of her, even though he knew she was perfectly capable of kicking ass and taking names now.

 

“Everything’s wonderful, Rum!” Regina cried, beaming.

 

Her husband eyed her askance. “It is? Though you were puking.”

 

“I was. That’s why it’s wonderful.”

 

“Huh? Did I miss something?” Daniel looked at her cluelessly.

 

“You did, Dan. Because we’re going to have a baby,” Regina announced.

 

Daniel whooped and took her in his arms and spun her around.

 

And the commander of the Red Queens kissed him, laughing like a giddy schoolgirl again.

 

“Congratulations,” Gold called, smiling. “Maybe now you’ll get your wish.”

 

“What wish?” asked his wife, conjuring another blanket to put over their daughter.

 

“Dan was saying how much he wanted a little imp like Abby,” Rumple replied.

 

“They’ll see in eight months,” Belle laughed, and she sat down next to them.

 

Rumple reached out a hand to her.

 

As her fingers closed over it, two children, a boy and a girl, around seven or eight, came running over to them. They were dressed in makeshift “uniforms” and carried wooden swords and a staff in their hands. The boy had a small leather book in his hand, and his companion had one also.

 

“Captain Gold! Captain Gold!”

 

“Hello, dearies. What can I do for you?”

 

The boy, who had flyaway blond hair, skidded to a halt before Gold’s bad leg, and cried, “Umm . . . could you sign my spell primer, sir? Please?”

 

“Me too, Captain Gold!” said the girl. “I’m his sister.”

 

Gold was amused. He had forgotten that children still looked up to him as the hero of the Ogre Wars . . .and he took the pen the boy held out to him and his blue spell primer, which was what all young mages wrote their newly learned spells in. “Certainly, lad. What’s your name?”

 

“I’m Hansel. And this is my sister, Gretel,” the boy told him, watching in awe as Rumple wrote in his graceful script. He handed the book back to the child, and took Gretel’s and autographed it as well. “There you go, children! You want to get Captain Mills’ too?”

 

“Sure!” Gretel said admiring the signature and Gold’s little sketch of the dagger and wheel below his name. She dragged Hansel over to Regina.

 

“See? You’re still loved, Captain,” Belle reminded him. “Still their hero.”

 

“Only because they don’t know any better,” Gold muttered, his mouth twisting into a frown.

 

“Ah, Rumple,” his wife sighed. “When will you let the guilt go?”

 

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, for the deaths of all those boys weighed upon his soul like a mountain of iron, crushing him beneath its dark embrace.

 

He put an arm around his Belle again, thanking all the fates that at least she was there to come home to, unlike Milah, his first wife, who had gone into early labor with the twins and died before he could return home in time. It was why he had insisted on taking leave when Belle was near her time carrying Abby, because he didn’t want to be away again and leave another wife to bring their child into the world alone. And he hadn’t, and he’d been there beside her to catch his new baby and tie the cord and give her the first kiss of welcome, which was a father’s way of acknowledging the child as his own besides giving him or her his name.

 

He put his head on top of Belle’s, resting it lightly on her chestnut tresses, and relaxing in the warm sunshine, at peace for now, as the butterflies and bluebottles buzzed in the meadow and celebrations drifted up from the fairgrounds on the mild summer breeze. But despite the lovely day and his friend’s good news, the shadows of Neverland hovered in his mind, looming like specters, waiting to grab him and tear apart his fragile happiness, as Pan had torn apart his leg, among other things.

 

 

 

 


	5. A Promise Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumple and family return from the picnic and Rumple tries to forget about the guilt he bears for a promise broken, only some things can't be easily forgotten

The twins returned to the picnic blanket an hour later, playfully arguing over who had the better kiss at the kissing booth. "It was me, and you know it, Bae," Robin said with a roguish grin. "My kiss made yours look like you were still starting and didn't know how to finish!"

"Like hell!" Bae rolled his eyes. "When I was done kissing Emma everybody was passing out from lack of air!"

"And the only reason why that occurred, Baelfire, was because _I_ wasn't there kissing your mama," Rumple drawled. "Because if I was, you'd have been left eating my dust, boy."

"Or ours," Daniel said, grinning.

"Think so? I beg to differ," Robin waggled his eyebrows at the cavalry officer.

"Oh, I know so. Since Regina chose to marry me and that was how I convinced her," the other chuckled. "Speaking of which, we have some good news to share."

"Let's hear it, Dan. We could use some," Bae said. "All kidding aside, there's been talk over at the festival grounds about how Zelena deserted and she's still out there somewhere . . .maybe plotting something."

"That may be true, but we'll find her," Regina declared. "Sister or no, she can't run forever, and she's going to be brought back to face up to her crimes."

"So what's the good news?" Bae queried.

"Regina and I are going to be parents again." Daniel said.

Robin and Bae smiled and clapped him on the back. "Congratulations! That's great! What are you hoping for this time?" asked Robin.

"I'm hoping for a girl. Not that I don't love my son, or that I wouldn't love another son just as much, but . . ." Regina slid her glance over to Abby, who still slept with her thumb in her mouth on Rumple's lap. "I would like a girl."

"Me too," Daniel admitted. "A little girl with her mama's beauty and sass and my way with horses."

"You'll probably have her in the saddle before she can walk," Belle predicted.

Daniel nodded. "Best way to learn how to ride—start 'em early. It's what I did with Henry."

"Speaking of Henry, did you two happen to see him there?" asked Regina. She couldn't wait to tell him the good news and see his face light up. He'd been wanting another sibling for quite some time now.

"Uh no, but then we weren't by the games and stuff," Bae said.

"You want me to go find him?" Robin asked.

"No . . .he'll come back when he's ready," Regina said.

As if her words had summoned him, Henry appeared, walking with a large stuffed lamb in one hand and carrying telescope in the other. "Mom! Dad! Guess what? I won the ring toss and got this neat telescope! And then I played the dart game and won this cute lamb for Abby."

Regina smiled at him. "Henry, that's wonderful," she said to the eight-year-old. "And I have something to tell you too. You're going to be a big brother soon."

Henry's eyes widened. "Really? You're gonna have a baby?" He peered at his mother, who looked unchanged, in her toned down uniform.

Regina nodded. "Yes, what do you think of that?"

"It's better than getting a horse!" the boy declared shrilly. Then he added, "Uh . . .but I still want one."

"You know what you have to do to earn one, son," Daniel reminded him.

"I know," his son said. "But it'll take forever!"

"But the best things are worth it," Rumple interjected. "You might want to keep that lamb, Henry, for your baby brother or sister."

But Henry shook his head. "No, I won it for Abby." He set the lamb down beside Gold. "I can always win the new baby something else." He grinned at the captain. "Uh . . .but I kinda need some more money, Dad."

"What do I look like, a bank?" teased Daniel. Then he pulled out his purse and handed his son some coins. "There. Go back and win something else of you want to."

"I will!" he gave Daniel the telescope. "I'm gonna tell Mike and Hansel about Mom's baby and then I'm gonna win the doll I saw at the ball toss. Thanks!" he waved to his parents and friends before rushing down the hill to the fair grounds again.

The Golds stayed to see some fireworks lit off by the dwarves of the Engineering Company, but after that Abby started to grow cranky and they decided to head home and give the child a bath and a light supper and put her to bed.

Normally an agreeable child, Abby was overtired from all the excitement and goings on at the fair grounds, and at first cried when they left, wanting to see all the pretty lights again, then whining she was hungry. But when Belle gave her a cookie from the picnic basket, Abby threw it on the ground and sobbed, "Nooo! Wanna griddle cake!"

Griddle cakes were fried dough twisted into fancy circles and sprinkled with powdered sugar and honey. They were something only made at the festivals and Abby had shared one with Belle before leaving.

"Sorry, we don't have any more. When we get home, I'll make you some porridge, how about that?" Belle suggested briskly.

But Abby was determined to sulk, and shook her head, her lower lip stuck out. "Noo! No pawidge!" Then she sat down in the middle of the road and started bawling.

Rumple halted, turning around to see what was the matter. He frowned when he saw what was going on. "Abigail Gold, quit having a tantrum!" His leg was throbbing and Abby's shenanigans were making it worse.

"Wanna griddle cake!" his moppet shrieked loud enough to be heard in the next kingdom.

Rumple fought to keep from covering his ears.

"Abigail, stop screaming!" Belle ordered crossly. "Now get up and let's go home."

Abby burst into noisy howls.

"Abigail Electra Gold!" Rumple snapped, out of patience with his obstreperous daughter. "Shall I count to three?"

Abby continued bawling.

"ONE!

Abby suddenly started whining. "No! No count!"

"Then get up off your backside, young lady and quit throwing a fit!"

Rumple tapped his cane pointedly.

"Papa . . .I wanna—" she began pathetically.

Captain Gold shook a finger at her. "Never mind what you want, little miss! _I_ want to get home and if you make me pick you up, _you're_ getting a swat and facing a wall when we get there!"

Abby shook her head rapidly. "Noo! No spanking!"

"Then get up," he said exasperatedly. When she didn't make an attempt at doing so he said, "TWO!"

Belle shook her head. She loved their daughter, but there were times Abby could test the patience of a saint, and Rumple was reaching his limit. "Better listen to Papa, little girl," she warned. "Or else!"

After that bit of input, Abby got up, still crying softly. She ran over to Belle. "Mama, I hungwy!"

"I know, and you're also cranky," her mother agreed. Then she took her daughter's hand. "Come on, let's go home."

Once they got home, Belle told Rumple to rest his leg while she went and made some porridge for dinner and washed Abby's face.

Perversely, now that he could rest, Rumple no longer felt like he should, and muttered, "I'll rest enough when they nail shut my coffin!"

"Stubborn!" Belle remarked sharply. "Like your daughter."

"Determined," he corrected, then went and took the damp cloth from her and said, "C'mere, sprite!"

Abby approached him warily. "Papa mad?"

"No. I was mad before because you weren't listening. And having a fit. Are you doing that now?"

"No. I good!"

"Yes, so why would I be mad?"

"I dunno," she said.

"C'mere and let me wash your face, pudding head!"

Abby bounded into his arms.

Rumple washed her face with the cloth, saying, "Scrub-a-dub-dub, Abby's clean as a whistle . . .now it's time for some tickles!" Then he tickled her behind her neck and along her ribs, making her shout with laughter.

Belle smiled at their antics while she stirred the porridge with a long handled spoon. She hoped that by playing and spending time with Abby, Rumple would be able to battle the depression and sorrow she sensed still lurking within him, and recall again the way he had been before—the gentle husband and father, who commanded power that could tear apart cities but spoke in a whisper and whose greatest claim to fame had been saving the lives of a thousand children during a vicious war.

Abby shrieked with mirth and then tried to tickle Rumple back, running her little hands all over his face and neck. "Tickle! Tickle!"

"Ahh! No! Not that!" Gold pretended to be frightened, hiding his face. "No tickling!"

"Tickle . .. tickle!" Abby's slender little hands tickled his ribs, making him giggle.

Then he quit hiding and picked her up in the air and said, "Gotcha, gabby Abby!"

"Fly, Papa! More fly!"

Rumple obligingly "flew" her in the air for a few moments before lowering her back down and kissing her on the forehead. "Okay, sprite. It's time for supper."

They all ate Belle's tasty porridge with nuts, honey, dried fruit and cinnamon.

Then Belle gave Abby a bath and afterwards helped Rumple put her to bed. After two lullabies and a story, the toddler drifted off to sleep.

"I think I ought to take a bath too," Captain Gold mused. "Soak my leg."

"I'll draw it for you, darling." Belle offered.

He gave her a merry wink. "Will you join me in it, dearie? The tub's big enough for two."

"Rumple! You wicked man!" Belle laughed, and gave him a saucy smirk in return. "Do I look like a wanton to you?"

"Why no, dearie. You look like my wife, who's sore been missing her husband's attention these past months. And I mean to make up for it!" Then he drew her to him and kissed her.

She melted in his embrace, loving the way he made her feel . . .like a goddess . . .special and cherished . . .and she wanted him to feel the same way . . .so she surrendered gracefully to her eager husband and followed him down the hall to the bathing room, with its huge sunken tub set over a hot spring. She drew him a bath and then frolicked in the water with him, washing his back and then letting him wash her hair, though soon the playful entreaties grew much more heated . . .and she discovered the water did not hamper her enjoyment of him or he of her one iota.

Afterwards they lolled in each other's arms, while he soaked and cradled her head against him. "I love you, Belle."

"I love you too. So much."

"When I was on Skull Rock . . .and I dreamed of escape . . .I dreamed of you . . .you were my flicker of light in an ocean of darkness," he murmured into her ear.

"And your dream came true. You came home to me."

"But I'm not the same man who went away. I'm . . . broken," he admitted, ashamed.

"No. You're chipped . . .and I can mend you," she soothed, running her hands over his face, tracing the slender cheekbones and nose. "And even then . . .don't you know the best teacups are chipped, my soldier? So you bear scars. They're badges of honor . . .dearly bought and I do not love you less for them. I love you more, Captain Gold."

"Would you love me if you knew I'd broken a promise, dearie?" he asked, his brown eyes pensive and filled with endless regret.

"What promise, Rumple?" she asked.

He looked away. "Forget it. I'll tell you later."

Sensing he would close up if she pressed him, she let it go for now.

He finished soaking and then they took turns drying each other off and he massaged her neck and she returned the favor with his leg.

Then they got into their night clothes and went to bed . . .but Rumple found he couldn't sleep, despite the relaxing bath and massage and their lovemaking earlier. He tossed and turned, restless, and irritated at himself for not being able to let go of the past and just rest.

He closed his eyes and tried to meditate but he kept seeing the boy's face in his mind.

Troy.

He had promised to get the boy home to see his parents again.

And he had broken that promise.

For Troy had died in that ill fated fire . . .and he was haunted by the small face, so trusting, so full of hope.

_"Captain Gold, I'm scared."_

_"It's going to be okay, lad," he'd whispered to the boy in the dark of the cavern, as they huddled together on the cold rock floor._

_"But we're Pan's prisoners. And I . . .I heard he does awful things . .. " Troy sniffled._

_Rumple went and hugged him. "Not to you, laddie. I promise. Now let's play a game, shall we?" he suggested, anything to keep their minds off where they were and what could happen to them._

_"What kinda game?"_

_"A game of wishes. You tell me one thing you really wish for and I'll tell you one in return."_

_"All right . . .umm . . . I wish I could go home to my family."_

_Rumple smiled, a poignant smile of tenderness and sorrow. "And that's my wish too."_

_"Think it'll come true? I don't wanna die here, Captain Gold."_

_"Shhh . .. " Rumple's heart broke and he carded the boy's hair like he'd done his own sons. "You won't. I'm going to make you a promise, Troy. I'm going to bring you home."_

_"How? Will your company come for you?"_

_"Yes, and then I'll be able to keep my word and take you home." Rumple promised._

_"And you always keep your promises," Troy said, then he leaned against Rumple's knees, a forlorn waif in patched breeches and a worn shirt, his brown hair hanging in his eyes, which were a deep lush green, like the jungle that surrounded them._

_Rumple nodded. And he would keep this one as well._

Except he hadn't. And now he never could.

"Rumple, what's wrong?" Belle called.

"Nothing, Just thinking."

She turned and peered at him. "Not very lovely thoughts. I can feel it."

He heaved a sigh. "Go to sleep, Healer Gold."

"Rumple," she touched his arm lightly. "Don't shut me out."

"I'm not. I just . . . don't want to talk about it now."

He turned over, yawning. "Good night."

"Good night, Rumple." She reached out a hand and stroked his hair. Whatever was bothering him, she would make sure she got it out of him in tomorrow's session.

Rumple waited until he felt his wife's steady breathing beside him before he rose and went to his apothecary chest. He uncorked a vial of a potion that would make one get a good night's sleep and drank it.

Then he cursed himself for a coward for relying on a potion . . .and when he closed his eyes again . . .he saw Troy's face in his mind, staring at him accusingly, and then he heard the boy's voice, _You broke your deal, Captain Gold. Now I can never rest in peace._

Then sleep dragged him under . . .and for once he slept the night through, and didn't wake Belle up yelling or thrashing about in his sleep.

 


	6. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumple takes one step forward and two steps back as he realizes he may not have broken his promise after all to Troy and yet his demons still haunt him and cause him to do something he regards as unspeakable at the end of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who has been reading and following this and commenting please continue to do so. *hugs*

 

“But Rumple, don’t you see?” queried Belle at their session the next morning, where he admitted that he had been having flashbacks about the young boy whom he had failed to save, who had died because of his own soldiers’ incompetence. “ _You_ didn’t break your deal with Troy. You weren’t to blame for the fire Zelena started trying to rescue you. She did that on her own . . .and you almost died too. If Bae hadn’t found you in time . . .”

 

“I promised to bring him home, Belle,” Gold protested, his face drawn into a grimace of pain. “And I broke my deal. He’s dead and all I can do for him now is attend his memorial service and offer my condolences to his parents. I should have been able to bring home their son!”

 

She put a hand on his cheek, knowing he needed her touch, so she could link with him and share his grief and sorrow. “Rumple . . .you _can_ bring Troy home, you know.”

 

“How? How can I do that? He’s back there in that accursed jungle!” Rumple hissed.

 

“His remains might be there, but Rumple, a part of him did come home with you. You were the last one to see him alive, to talk to him. You can tell his parents that, you can give them closure. You can bring him home and let him rest, Rumple, where he belongs, with his family.” Her cerulean eyes sparkled with tears. “You can give them something nobody else can, Rumple.”

He stared at his wife, and his finger came up to trace the tears on her cheeks, and he knew his face mirrored her own. “I . . .I never thought about it like that before. All I thought . . . was that I’d failed.”

 

“You didn’t fail, Captain Gold. Did you know what would happen with the rescue attempt?”

 

“No. I was trapped in that cell. All I could do . . . was try and endure what Pan did to me . . . and sometimes . . .I asked him to . . .hurt me instead of one of them. I was . . . the soldier . . .I was the adult . . . even when he tortured me . . .I didn’t mind as long as he left the boys alone . . .only sometimes he didn’t . . .sadistic bastard . . .and he’d make me watch . . .”

 

He started shivering violently.

 

Belle wrapped her arms around him and held him close. “It’s okay, sweetheart . . .he can’t hurt you or anyone again . . .”

 

She absorbed some of his anguish and pain, and some of the dreadful memories, taking them from him and placing them in a box in her mind. Then she stroked his hair, while tears flowed down both their cheeks, as they wept for those that had been lost, innocents sacrificed upon the altar of greed and ambition and power, at the whim of a crazed dark sorcerer.

 

She ended the session by sending him healing images . . .of himself and Abby, of himself and his sons, and of herself and him, reaffirming the love she felt for him and trying as best as she could to restore his shattered self-confidence by showing him that she still believed in him.

 

Rumple let the images wash over him . . .and he felt the power of her conviction and it filled him with hope . . .yet he felt it was not enough to banish the legion of ghosts that haunted him.

 

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

The memorial service for the Lost Boys who had died in the ill-fated fire was held that same afternoon, on the parade ground where the recruits from the mage companies usually went to drill. The ten companies were there, including the cadets from the Academy, and all their family members who wished to attend, which meant a few hundred people crowded the grounds, since those who had died were their own—children of the mage companies, and all except the very youngest and eldest unable to rise from their beds were there to honor their precious fallen children.

 

Captain Gold was there in his leather uniform, wearing his gold captain’s bars on his lapels and his ribbons and decorations from the Ogre Wars, his hair slicked down and looking spit and polished. He held Abby in his arm while leaning on his gold cane.

 

The auburn-haired cherub muttered, “Papa sad?”

 

“Yes, because all these little boys died, sprite,” he sighed. She was dressed in a lovely golden colored dress and tiny matching shoes, her curls caught back in a rose barrette.

 

Abby frowned, uncertain. “That mean they in the Blessed Realms?”

 

“Yes, with the good spirits,” Rumple agreed.

 

She put her thumb in her mouth, then said around it, “They sad cause they miss the little boys?”

 

“Yes, just like I would be if I lost you, little minx.”

 

“Wouldja cry forever?”

 

“Forever and ever,” he assured her, breathing in her sweet scent to combat the dreadful image of his baby girl’s grave that had popped up in his mind.

 

The barracks cleric stepped up and gave a moving eulogy for all the boys and those of the Reconnaissance drew their bows and lit their arrows tips with magical fire then shot them into the air in remembrance.

 

“Ooo! Pretty!” Abby squealed and clapped her hands.

 

Belle smiled at her daughter. The arrows’ flight signified the way a soul flew to the Blessed Realms to dwell with the god spirits and the gods of Light.

 

Bae lowered his bow to parade rest along with Robin and they waited respectfully until the bugler was done playing the Evening Serenade, singing the boys to their final rest.

 

After the memorial service, some of the families of the boys invited friends and relatives back to their houses for refreshments and to talk. One of those was the March family, Troy’s parents and their daughters. They had four little daughters, but Troy had been their only son. Troy’s mother was Louisa and her husband Edward, their daughters were Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy, ranging from ten to five years old. Troy had been twelve.

Captain Gold limped over to the Marches, who were wearing black dresses and Edward had on a black armband on his uniform sleeve, he was a retired member of the Intelligence Corp. “Master Sergeant March, Mrs. March and your lovely daughters, might I offer my sincerest regrets on your loss.”

 

“Captain Gold!” Edward stiffened to immediate attention.

 

Rumple waved at him. “At ease, sergeant. I’ve come to offer my condolences, not inspect you.”

 

“Sorry, sir. Habit, you know.” Edward coughed.

 

“Captain Gold, what a pleasure to meet you,” said Louisa softly. “Girls, what do say?”

 

“How do you do, Captain?” the four girls chorused and curtseyed to him.

 

“Very well, thank you, ladies,” Rumple said politely to them, and he smiled at them.

 

“Would you like to come back to our house for some lemonade and cookies, Captain Gold?” Louisa invited.

 

“I would be happy to, thank you, Mrs. March.”

 

“Please, call me Louisa,” the tall brown-haired woman said softly.

 

Rumple followed them right down the street to their house, which was very like most of the housing for non-com officers, though some balls and a hoop and a colored jump rope were lying on the lawn.

 

Belle watched as her husband left, holding onto Abby’s hand lest she run after him. She knew Rumple needed to talk to the family alone, so she led Abby back towards her brothers, saying, “Papa’s gone visiting, dear, so let’s go and play with Robin and Bae.”

 

“Kay, Mama!” the little imp chuckled and she pulled Belle over to her big brothers, shrilling, “Wobin! Bae-bae! I comin’!”

 

Rumple entered the March residence and Edward led him to the table where Louisa had set out a pitcher of lemonade and several kinds of cookies including shortbreads and peanut butter ones.

 

“Please, help yourself,” murmured Louisa to their guest.

“Marmee and me made the peanut butter ones,” Meg told Rumple. “I like them the best.”

 

“So do I,” Gold said, his eyes twinkling despite the somber moment.

 

Then he turned to find the darker haired sister at his elbow. “Yes, little lady?”

 

“I’m Jo and I want to ask you something.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“Were you really the last one to talk to Troy before he went to heaven?”

 

Gold felt his heart cringe at the innocent question. Then he recalled what Belle had said to him and replied, “Yes, I was. Would you like me to tell you what he said to me?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jo said.

 

Behind her he could feel the entire family freeze, and then focus on him.

 

“Troy was with me on Skull Rock. In the great cavern. Pan had us brought there along with some of the other boys.”

 

“Couldn’t you use your magic to get out?” asked Amy.

 

“No, dearie. Because Pan had put a cuff on me to take my magic away,” Rumple answered, and he rolled up his sleeve to show her the scar where the cuff had burned him. “Troy came and sat beside me, this was before Pan took us to different cells on the rock, and he asked me just one thing—he asked me if I could bring him home, because he missed his family . . .and I said I would . . .”

 

Louisa buried her face in her apron and wept. Beth cried into a little blue handkerchief and so did Meg and Amy. Only Jo remained stoic, staring up at Rumple. “Did . . . he say anything else?”

 

“Yes. He told me about his sisters, and how you could make him crazy sometimes. He mentioned someone hiding his shoes once . . . and painting a green mustache on him while he slept. . . “

 

“That was me,” Jo replied. “Cause he cut my hair with Marmee’s shears.”

 

“And I told him some stories about my own boys . . . Bae and Robin, the scamps . . .and so we kept the dark at bay there in that place . . . until Pan came to take us away . . .understand if I had been able to walk . . to get out of my cell . . .I would have kept my word . . .I would have brought him back to you . . .” He felt the old guilt crawl out of the hole in the back of his mind and pounce, digging its claws deep into his psyche.

 

“Sir, you were a prisoner too . . .Pan smashed your leg,” began Edward, pointing to Rumple’s maimed leg.

 

“You needed help too,” Jo pointed out. “Cause you almost died . . .”

 

“My son was a brave little boy,” Louisa said softly. “And he died like a soldier, Captain Gold. I’m just glad . . . you were there before he . . . so he had someone to talk to and comfort him . . .”

 

“You made him happy,” Beth spoke up then, peering shyly at him. “Troy always said he wanted to meet you, Captain Gold. You were his hero. And his wish came true.”

 

“He was a fine lad,” Rumple said hoarsely, his eyes glinting with unshed tears.

 

Jo handed him a red handkerchief. “Here. You can use mine. I cried all over it yesterday, but I didn’t blow my nose or nothing.”

 

“Josephine!” cried Meg, scandalized.

 

“What? It’s true!”

 

Rumple felt his heartstrings tugged on again, and he said, “Thank you, lass,” and wiped his eyes.

 

Louisa put a hand on his arm. “No. Thank _you_ , Captain Gold. For coming here and sharing those precious last moments with us. So, you see, Captain, in a way you’ve kept your promise . . .and brought my son home to me.”

 

Jo nodded. “Troy was right. He always said you were a hero.” She pointed to Rumple’s leg. “And only heroes have wounds of war. Does it hurt? Your leg?”

 

“Jo! Why are you asking the captain so many questions?” Meg asked, blushing.

 

“How else am I supposed to learn anything?” she replied bluntly.

 

Her older sister scowled. “You gonna write a book or something?”

 

“Maybe I will. So there!”

 

“Girls!” Edward said quietly, giving them a Look. “Sorry, Captain Gold, but Jo’s a little too curious for her own good. Jo, don’t pester Captain Gold with your questions.”

 

“It’s all right. I don’t mind,” Rumple said. He turned back to the budding author and said, “If you’re going to write a book, then you have to get all the facts, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And to answer your question, sometimes my leg does hurt, especially when it rains . . .” he replied honestly, and he spent an hour drinking lemon and eating cookies, while the March family sat around him listening to his stories, the pain in his heart easing a little, and he hoped in theirs as well.

 

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

When Rumple arrived home, Belle was relieved to see his step was much lighter and some of the lines of stress and worry were gone from his face. “I take it your visit went well with the Marches?” she asked, as she crimped a top crust on her beef pot pie for their evening meal.

 

“It went better than I expected,” he said, then went over to kiss Abby, who was next to Belle making her own “pie” in a tiny tin with some leftover pie crust. “Hey, sprite! What are you doing?”

 

“Papa! I’m making a pie!” she cried, her face all covered with flour.

 

“How lovely, dearie! I can’t wait to eat it,” he chuckled. Then he tweaked her nose and cried, “Oh no! I’ve got your nose!”

 

“No . . .Papa! Gimme it back!” she cried, nearly upsetting her tin trying to grab his hand.

 

He held his hand above her head and said, “What’ll you give me for it?”

 

“Uh . . .I’ll give ya . . .ten hugs n’ kisses!”

 

“Only ten? Is that all your nose is worth?” he teased.

 

“Twenty.”

 

“Twenty-five,” he answered.

 

“Thirty!” she screamed.

 

“Deal, babydoll!” he laughed, and then he pretended to give her back her nose.

 

Giggling, Abby proceeded to cover his face with kisses and hug him to death.

 

Belle beamed as she watched her husband and her daughter playing, and heard Rumple laughing again, the way he used to before the mission that had nearly destroyed him, and she began to hope that with time and patience and the love of his family, Rumple might eventually return to the man he had once been, his ghosts banished for good.

 

She simply had to be patient and support him.

 

Later on that night, after they had tucked Abby into bed and Belle had read to her and Rumple sang her to sleep, they sat before the crackling fire in the grate in their easy chairs, with Rumple resting his foot up on footstool and idly twirling some straw in his hands and having it become gold at his touch, while Belle read a novel to him in her low soft voice.

 

Belle finished the chapter and said, “Healer Jerrol stopped by today and said he’d like you to see him tomorrow, Rum. He says he might have a new pain potion for you to try.”

 

Rumple snorted. “Humph! The damned things made me all fuzzy. I hate that.”

 

“I know, but you don’t have to take it all the time. Just when it’s really bothering you.”

 

“I’ll see about it,” he said, shrugging, which was his standard answer when he didn’t want to say yes or no on something.

 

“Now, don’t be stubborn, Rumplestiltskin,” Belle scolded gently. “You don’t need to play the stoic warrior mage with me.”

 

“I’m not. I just don’t like going about in a fog just so my leg doesn’t hurt so much,” he argued.

 

“Rumple! All I’m saying is you should just go and get a bottle of it from him, just in case. Since it won’t respond to anymore healing spells . . .” Belle suggested. The Healers had said that Gold’s leg had been healed to maximum usability and no other spells would work upon it thereafter.

 

“Oh very well! Since you’ll haunt me until I do,” he sighed. “Happy now?”

 

“Don’t be a grouch, Rumple. You know I’m always happy when you’re not in pain,” she retorted, then she sent him a wave of love through their bond.

 

He felt the love flow through him, warming the cold spaces in his soul and he smiled. “I love you, Belle.”

 

“And I love you, Rumple.”

 

He reached out his hand and she clasped it in hers. And he was once again reminded that this was what he had endured the torments of hell for on Skull Rock. This—the chance to come home again to his beloved wife and child.

 

He just wished all of his guilt and trauma would leave him be.

 

That night, after making slow satisfying love to Belle in their cozy bed with the quilt he had woven for her as a wedding gift, Gold drifted into sleep, thinking surely no nightmares would plague him. But he was wrong.

 

Suddenly he went from dreaming about romping through the grass chasing Belle and Abby amid a cloud of purple emperor butterflies, unhampered by his injured leg to being trapped again in the hellish prison on Skull Rock.

 

_Pan leered at him as he lay pinned down by magical restraints to a stone table. “So, laddie . . .we meet again. Did I not tell ye resistance is futile?”_

_“You can go to hell in a handbasket!” Gold spat. “On a gilded cart!”_

_Pan tisked at him. “Such disrespect, Captain. I’m your commanding officer.”_

_“You WERE my commanding office.” Rumple corrected. “Until you betrayed your oaths of loyalty to this kingdom ad your liege and fell under the spell of the dagger, Malcolm. After that you ceased to be my commander . . .or anyone I needed to show respect to. Now you’re a rogue necromancer who kills CHILDREN! And for that you need to be taken down . . .permanently!”_

_Pan giggled. “But not by you, Rumple Wumple! For you are now a guest of Skull Rock . . .and as a guest, I feel obligated to show you a good time . . .”_

_Rumple spat in his face._

_Pan wiped the spittle from his cheek. “You’re going to regret that, Gold . . .”_

_Then he conjured a lead pipe and began to beat his helpless captive, crushing the bones in his ankle and knee . . ._

Gold’s frenzied writhing and yelling woke Belle from a sound sleep.

 

She nearly sat bolt upright, then she turned to her husband and called, “Rumple, it’s a nightmare! Rumple, wake up! It’s a dream!”

 

She knew better than to shake him awake, for that could trigger his fight response . . . as a mage she knew about the hair trigger battle-ready status the war mages were trained to wake in . . .but she involuntarily went to brush his hair out of his eyes, a simple loving gesture done inadvertently . . .

 

Rumple’s eyes snapped open, clouded with pain, as his mind was not fully registering where he was or who was with him.

 

He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and snarled, “Don’t _touch_ me, Pan! Get your filthy hands away from me!”

 

And his hand lashed out towards his old enemy. . .

 

. . .and connected in glancing blow across Belle’s face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some of you will recognize the March family as being from Little Women, that's a deliberate nod to one fo my fav classics of children's literature by Louisa May Alcott, hence why mom's name is Louisa. 
> 
> Next chapter-that involuntary slap causes more turmoil for Rumple and his family. 
> 
> I know this seems like a one step forward two steps back kind of thing with poor Rumple, but that's often how it is with PTSD. Hope you all liked, and please review!


	7. A Light In the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Rumple's unexpected slap and how Belle reacts to it and what Rumple feels he needs to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: chapter title refers to Thomas Kincade’s painting of the same name suggestion by CJ Moliere, who also helped me write this chapter.

 

 

Never in the time they'd been married had her husband ever struck her. Belle was shocked for a second or two until she realized what was happening. Even a slight touch while a soldier slept could invoke the battle response. What was meant to be a simple loving gesture turned out to be a horrible mistake.

 

"I'm sorry, Rumple....I didn't think..." she muttered.

 

But he would see this as his fault...she knew that deep in her heart. He abhorred violence against women and children and when cases of it arose in their ranks, he was one of the first to demand justice for the victim.

 

_He wasn't trying to hurt me on purpose...it was an accident!_

 

Making him understand that was going to be the difficult part. He would see it as a clear sign he was a danger to her and their child. He was trying to hide those fears from her but the connection between them was so deep that there was nowhere within his mind he could hide it from her.

 

Rumple blinked and suddenly wakened from the nightmare he had been trapped in. Pan was gone . . .and all that he saw was Belle. . .with the mark of his hand across her cheek.

 

He felt himself shrivel in revulsion. _What have I done? I HIT my wife!_ His brilliant beautiful loving wife and he had hurt her like a beast . . .like his father had done to his mother once when he was small . . he could barely remember her but he remembered that . . and the accompanying horror that had filled him. And now he had done the same thing to Belle.

 

He stared at his hand as if it were something foreign, like a parasite. "Belle . . .I . . .I'm sorry . . . " he stammered, shame and guilt churning in him like a maelstrom.

 

"It's all right, Rumple...I should've known better than to try to touch you while you're sleeping..."

 

But he wasn't just sleeping; he was having a terrifying nightmare of being in Pan's prison again.

 

He shut his eyes. "Don't . . .don't make excuses for me, Belle. I HURT you . . .and no man should ever hurt a woman . . ." He shook his head. "What have I become? A monster, that's what!" He inched away from her.

 

"No...don't you do this to me, Rumple...don't you shut me out!"

 

The rational part of his mind whispered that he had been on the edge of his control when he'd awakened from his nightmare . . .and on hair trigger every mage soldier knew he had the potential to become a deadly animal. Only his iron self-control had kept him from lashing out with his magic instead of his hand, but what he had done with that was bad enough.

 

He slammed up his mind shields, preventing his wife from feeling what he felt.

 

"You did not INTEND to hurt me it was an ACCIDENT...and you put those shields down!"

 

"I'm dangerous . . .to you . . .to Abby . . ." he shook his head. "I ought to be locked away like the crazy bastard I am . . ."

"NO! You are not crazy! I do not want to hear that again nor are you dangerous to me or our daughter. I am not locking you away so you can get that thought out of your mind right now."

 

She reached for him.

 

"No! Don't touch me!" he ordered frantically. He didn't want to hurt her again and he was afraid he would in the agitated upset state he was in. "I can't trust myself . . .YOU can't trust me . . . " he gestured at the handprint. "Look what I did . . .what sort of man does that? A monster! Like my bloody father!"

 

He wanted to hold her so much but he was terrified of hurting her. You don't deserve her, Rumple. You never did.

 

"You're not like your father! Rumple, please, this was an ACCIDENT!" she insisted.

 

Unfortunately, the history of violence in his family made it difficult for him to understand this. She never met his father, thank the gods, nor did she want to. She had, however seen him in their sessions and the cruelty he showed to his wife and son was without boundaries.

 

But an accident could turn into a habit, he thought bitterly, and he would not risk his wife and daughter. _There is a beast that lives in me_ , he thought hopelessly, _and now it has come out . . .and who knows if I can cage it again? In order to make them safe . . .I have to leave . . .go somewhere else . . ._ In a split second her made a quick decision and reached for his cane.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

 

"Leaving. I can't stay here. I'm dangerous. I can't risk hurting you or Abby. I CAN'T!" his voice was hoarse with pain, and his eyes reflected the inner turmoil within, twin pools of darkness. It was tearing his heart out to even say those words, much less get up and start throwing his clothes into his rucksack, but he ruthlessly clamped down upon those emotions and began to pack, the motions second nature after so many years of going on missions.

 

"Rumple....you can't go....I won't let you!" She jumped up and ran over to him, attempting to take the rucksack away from him. "You didn't mean to hurt me....you've GOT to believe that! We'll work this out...together...."

 

"Let me go, Belle! Why would you want me to stay? I'm not the man you married anymore! I'm a crippled wreck, a shadow of what I was."

 

"I want you to stay because I LOVE YOU…all of you and the man I married is still there....he's just hurting right now....and you CANNOT FACE THIS ALONE. Don't you remember our vows?"

 

He shut his eyes. Of course he did. They were engraved upon his heart and his mind. Yet the words stuck in his throat. And all that he could think of was how he had failed--failed to resist Pan, failed to bring those Lost Boys home, and failed to be a good husband. _Coward, Rumplestiltskin! You're a coward just like your father for hitting a woman!_ And all he wanted to do was dig a hole and fall into it never to come out.

 

"No!" Belle cried, his thoughts projecting to her though he did his best to block them. "No...not that...I won't let you go to that dark place, Rumple..."

 

His mind suddenly jumped and sent him back in time . . .back to the wreckage of his childhood, trapped between two parents whose marriage was falling apart and his mercurial vicious father had tried to beat all the tears out of him. _Boys don't cry, Rumple! They don't cry or else they're nothing but spineless whimpering cowards . . .fit only to be ground into the dirt and eat shit! Do you wanna be like that? DO YOU!?_

 

He flinched and heard himself trying to swallow back the tears as his father's belt whipped him and all the while he thought _I don't wanna be like YOU, Papa! Never like you!_

 

Yet what was he now?

 

He shuddered and repeated what he had been conditioned to say during those nightmare days of his childhood by his sadistic father. "I'm a coward and no one . . . _no one_ can ever love me . . .!"

 

It had taken Belle years after she had met him to break down his walls and let her in, to encourage him to talk about that time, for he had repressed it even from himself, to get him to at last allow himself to grieve for his dead mother and the little lost boy he had been. And that had been before she had married him, refusing to allow his ghosts to haunt him in their marriage bed.

 

He had thought those demons laid to rest long ago, but his time at Pan's merciless hands had brought them out again, creeping from behind his walls like shadows to torture him.

 

 _Isn't it funny that such things from so long ago still have the power to make you cry?_ sneered Pan's voice as he had conjured up an illusion of the boy Rumple had been, playing with a small cornhusk doll his mother had made for him . . .and how his father had caught him and beaten him over it and thrown the doll into the fire.

 

"Rumple...come back to me...." she pleaded, reaching out again feeling him creating a chasm between them that it would take all the love and strength she had to create a bridge to reach him on.

 

She'd seen it before...a soldier fall into the darkness and not want to return, leaving behind devastated loved ones feeling they hadn't done enough to save them. She would not be among them. She would be his lifeline...if he believed in them...in the strength of their love.

 

"Don't let them drag you down into their darkness...fight it…fight it for yourself...for me...for Abby!"

 

He heard her voice calling to him . . .she was the flicker of light in the ocean of darkness that surrounded him . . .and he must . . .he would not let Pan win . . would not let his father win . . .

 

 _Belle . . .help me . . . help me come home_. . .he called soundlessly to her.

 

And his walls crumbled like sand struck by a wave as he allowed her in to help him fight the demons that attacked him and threatened to destroy his fragile sanity.

 

_See my light in the darkness...let it guide you home to me....to us..._

 

She sent him the image of a beacon burning bright in a storm.

 

He was a ship lost at sea but her light would shine through and bring him safely into the harbor

 

The light pierced the shadows and he felt it beckon to him.

 

His demons were the rocks that threatened to tear him to pieces but she would steer him clear of them.

 

Slowly he groped after it, following it.

 

_Don't give up on me, Rumple. ..._

 

Like a will-o-wisp it danced and flickered and he raced after it, while the demons both past and present bayed after him like rabid hounds seeking to bring him down and tear him to pieces.

 

_Strategic retreat, Captain Gold._

 

Then something unexpected happened.

 

A new presence made itself felt in his mind.

 

_Go way, bad evil doggies! You not hurt my Papa! Go way! NOW!_

 

And a burst of pure white light surrounded Rumple and drove the demon hounds back.

 

_That's it Abby my star.....SHINE!_

_Help me, my star...help me bring Papa home..._

 

She smiled through her tears. Their child, their precious child was a strong healer herself, strong enough to feel her parents’ distress and be their anchor even at such a young age.

 

The child wrapped her "arms" around her father and drew him back towards Belle. _Papa come home . .. come home with me . . ._

_Hold tight to him now sweetheart...almost there...._

 

Though untrained and untaught, the little girl had excellent instincts and she did not let her father go.

 

Dream Rumple clung tightly to Abby's hand and together they followed Belle's flickering unwavering light out of the darkness.

 

She took him into her arms and let her own light surround him. "You're home now my darling...you're home...."

 

He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. "I was lost . . lost in the dark . . ."

 

A pair of arms wound about his waist. "Papa, s'not dark . . .lookit! It's morning time!"

 

Abby scrambled onto the bed and leaned over and kissed his cheek. "A sunshine kiss!"

"You are our sunshine, sweetheart..." Belle murmured.

 

Their daughter did not fear him....she did not fear him....and they loved him....proving his father wrong, he thought hazily.

 

She would not let him lock himself away. They would fight the demons together and send them running screaming to the Underworld.

 

Abby stared at the rucksack lying on the floor. "Papa go 'way?" she cried in alarm. He had just gotten home and she didn't want him to leave so soon. "Stay! Stay here!" she didn't know what to call what she had just done with her papa in that other world--the dark world he had been trapped in, but she did know one thing, she did _not_ want him to go away.

 

Shestarted to cry.

 

Rumple hugged her. "It's okay, sprite. I'm not going away. Not . . .not for a long time."

 

THIS was why he had to stay, he thought.

 

For his heart was here, his family was here.

Belle hoped that this crisis was averted for now. She went to heal her cheek and her husband caught her hand.

 

“Please, allow me,” he murmured, and he touched the cheek he had slapped and the mark and the bruise developing slowly beneath it were healed in a trice.

 

“All better!” Abby crowed, and nearly knocked her parents over trying tp hug them both.

 

“Whoa, sprite!” Belle chuckled. “Why don’t we get some breakfast?”

 

Abby nodded eagerly, her small head with its light brown hair bouncing on her shoulders. “I hungry, Mama!”

 

“Okay, sprite! Let’s go into the kitchen and make you something to eat.” Belle said, and picked up Abby.

 

But the little girl wriggled free of her hold and cried, “No! Want Papa to hold me!”

 

Rumple grabbed her before she could fall and said, “Abigail, dearie, d’you want to fall and crack your head like Jack when he fell down the hill?”

 

“Noo! I want you to hold me!” she said, and immediately snuggled into him. She had missed her papa dreadfully when he was away, and for the first few weeks her first question when she woke up every morning was “Is Papa home now?”

 

Rumple held her on one hip while he walked with his cane, wishing that he wasn’t disabled now so he could romp with the little girl like he used to.

 

‘What would you like for breakfast, sprite?” he asked her, though he was almost certain what she would say. Abby preferred two things for breakfast over everything else and he waited to see how she would respond.

 

“Uh . . I want . . . . a happy face for breakfast!” she announced.

 

_Just as I thought._

 

The happy face breakfast was an invention developed by him and Belle to get a rather fussy child to eat food without driving everyone crazy. When Abby was somewhat younger, she was very picky and refused to eat much. Concerned, Belle and Rumple had come up with the idea that if they made the food look interesting, the baby would be more likely to eat it.

 

The happy face breakfast was a great hit, as well as being nutritious for the child.

 

It could be made in several ways.

 

“Which happy face would you like?” Rumple asked. “Mr. Sunny or Miss Strawberry?”

 

“Sunny!” she yodled.

 

“Okay, Mr. Sunny it is,” Belle said and went to get the items she needed from the cold box and take out the frying pan.

 

Mr. Sunny was the egg happy face and Miss Strawberry was a fruit one with curds and whey, cinnamon, and granola cereal.

 

“No, Mama! Papa make it today!” Abby cried, since Belle usually made it every other time.

 

“Are you sure, sprite?” teased Rumple. “Can you help me? I might have forgotten how.”

 

“Nuh uh,” Abby shook her head. “You ‘member, Papa. First you make the toast,” she instructed.

 

Rumple got out the loaf of bread Belle had baked and sliced it. Then he put it on a long fork and held it over the stove flame until it was golden brown.

 

Then he spread it with some butter and put it in a plate.

 

“Okay, what comes next?”

 

“He needs a mouth, Papa!”

 

So Rumple took some bacon and fried it. He used two strips to make a mouth on the toast.

 

“Now what?”

 

“The eggy eyes!”

 

Now Rumple took two eggs and cracked them into his skillet with the hot fat. He cooked them just enough to set and then put them on the toast. Then he added some shredded cheese for hair and a grape nose and there was Mr. Sunny the happy face.

 

“Yay!” Abby clapped her hands.

 

Belle tied a large linen napkin around her daughter’s neck and helped her sit in her special chair which Corporal Geppetto in Engineering had made for her which hooked onto the table so she could sit up high like a big girl. Then she got the little girl a cup of fresh goat’s milk and put it before her.

 

Just as Rumple put the plate with Mr. Sunny before her, their door was knocked on once and then it opened to admit the twins. “Hey, Papa, you got anything to eat?” called Robin.

 

“You forget how to cook, Robin?” Rumple called back, his eyes lighting.

 

“Yeah and he burnt the porridge and dropped the last of our eggs on the floor when he tripped over Peaceful,” Bae told him gleefully. Peaceful was their old sheepdog, a black and white collie who was growing old and like to lie in front of the stove of a morning.

 

“Silly damn dog! I almost broke my neck!” Robin muttered, chagrined.

 

“Hey, mind your mouth!” Belle scolded. “Little pitchers,” she jerked her head at Abby who squealed. “Ooh youze in twouble now, Wobin!” Then she screeched, “Bae-bae! I eatin’ Mr. Sunny!”

 

“I see that, little minx! Did you save some for me?”

 

“Ummm . . .” she gave him a slightly guilty look with egg all over her face.

 

“Oh sit down and I’ll get you some breakfast!” Rumple waved at his sons. “I can’t have you two starving and passing out now can I?”

 

Robin and Bae laughed and sat down at the table. “Papa, I want my eggs over easy.” Robin called.

 

“Not me,” Bae made a face. “I like mine scrambled.”

 

Rumple rolled his eyes. “Do you think I’ve forgotten my own son’s preferences since I came out of that rat hole?”

 

“Well, no, but . . .it’s been awhile since you’ve cooked us breakfast,” Bae began.

 

“Humph! So what? My mind’s not going yet, boy!” Then he cracked another two eggs into a bowl and began beating them with a fork.

 

Belle made a pot of coffee and toast and soon the hearty smells of a good breakfast filled the cottage and Rumple sat down with a fond smile at his boys, his baby girl, and his wife and thought perhaps there was still hope for him to beat the demons that resided in him.

 

 


	8. A Walk to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumple goes on a walk with his family and has another flashback, but this time it leads to an unexpected discovery

After breakfast was over, Bae and Robin helped Belle wash up the dishes, while Rumple took Abby to get changed. He was feeling rather antsy and caged in, a hold over from his captivity on Skull Rock, and he thought it might do him good to get out of the house and walk a bit. Even though he was now lame, the Healers had told him that exercise was good for his leg and also his spirits. He was inclined to think they were right.

Rumple opened Abby's little cherrywood armoire, a gift to her when she was an infant from Geppetto. It had carved roses on it and little spinning wheels. He pulled out a little green and yellow tunic and a soft cream shirt to go under it, and a pair of butter soft leather breeches. "Here, sprite. Let's put these on. It's a little windy today."

He could tell more about the weather now because his lame leg ached sharply in the cold, wet, and damp.

"Leather pants!" Abby clapped her hands when she saw her favorite set of pants. "Like you, Papa!"

Rumple smiled down at the little cherub, with her rosy cheeks and bright eyes. "Yes, like my uniform, dearie," he agreed.

Abby giggled. She pointed to her papa. "You're a big dearie." Then she pointed to herself. "An' I'm a little dearie!"

Her simple declaration warmed Captain Gold's heart. It seemed he was still his little girl's hero, despite all he had been and done. "Aye, you're my little dearie," he chuckled, then he went to remove her egg-stained shirt and help her dress.

There were times that he wished he had died upon that volcanic rock, instead of subjecting his family to the wreck he had become, instead of having to wake each day and face the fact that he had survived when so many children hadn't. He knew he was a coward for even letting that thought cross his mind. But times like now, when he gazed upon his child, so happy and bright and alive, that he was glad he was here to share these precious moments.

He tweaked Abby's nose and laughed when she hugged him. It felt good to be hugged, and to know that the child in his arms was not going to be hurt or killed as the others he'd held upon Skull Rock had been. Those he had not been able to save, and their loss cut him deeply, scarring his psyche with a thousand red hot cuts of regret and sorrow.

He wrapped his arms around his daughter then and held her tightly, burying his face in her hair, which smelled of strawberries and cream. He breathed in her scent, trying to combat the sudden flare of memory.

_No. I don't want to go back there . .. to that place of misery and death . . .I just want to stay home . . ._

Abby squirmed in his grasp. "Papa! You is 'quishing me!"

He continued to hold her for a moment more, letting the feel of her and the sweet scent of her drive away the demons that snapped at his heels.

"Papa!" Abby cried again.

Rumple came back to himself abruptly. "Sorry . . .I'm sorry . . ." he apologized, releasing his daughter. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you?"

Abby looked at him, her budding empathic powers telling her that her papa was sad. "Papa, don't be sad!" She came and hugged him again, unknowingly projecting a wave of warmth and love at him.

Humbled by his child's innocent love, Captain Gold said nothing more and just held her to him. _My little dearie. My saving grace._

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Belle was glad that Rumple wanted to get some exercise, she had worried about him these last few days. She knew he was depressed and melancholy and thought it might improve his spirits to get some fresh air and exercise. Bae and Robin also wanted to accompany them, and so after Rumple had come back with Abby, the family set out for a short walk through the woods beside the military barracks.

Robin and Bae both considered Belle their mother, having never known their real one, as she had died soon after giving birth to them. They walked companionably on either side of her, their long legs eating up the ground. Both were dressed in lesser versions of their standard uniform, green tunics, and light brown trousers with shaded green and muddy yellow patches so they could blend easily with the shadows the forest engendered.

Slightly to the right of them was Rumple, limping along stoically with his cane, while Abby scampered ahead of them, pointing at the swallowtail butterfly and the squirrel, and the falcon winging its way back to its home, her light brown hair straggling loose from the pony tail Rumple had put it in.

The day was cool, a crisp summer day, though the sun on the leaves made them squint as they walked.

The trees in this part of the forest weren't the huge stately oaks and beeches, but the more colorful maples, ash, and rowan, all of which were known for their protective qualities. This large grove of ash and rowan had been chosen deliberately by the Forest Brigade as their barracks town, because they liked using the natural protection such trees offered them. In addition to them, there were also laurel bushes planted about the town, which were known to be proof against undead and other unsavory evil creatures.

As they walked down the cleared dirt road, Bae said, "Maybe I ought to take Emma on a walk, huh, Mama? We've hardly spent any time together since getting back, because I've been working with the new Recon recruits and she's been training the ones in basic." They had seen each other for a brief two hours at the festival and then work had kept them too busy to socialize.

"That might be a good idea," Belle said. She was proud of both of the twins, who could have been anything they wished, especially Bae who was a brilliant artist, but had chosen to follow in their father's footsteps as a war mage.

Robin glanced at his twin. "Uh, you know . . .I kind of was supposed to meet Marian here. I sent her a dove, and I'm surprised she isn't here already."

Marian was usually very punctual, most military mages were.

"Maybe her archery class ran late," Bae said. Marian taught archery to the new recruits in the Queens, just as Robin did for Magical Mayhem.

"Could be," Robin agreed.

Rumple was enjoying the fresh air on his face and watching his daughter running slightly ahead of him, all excited about being in the woods. He used to take Bae and Robin on walks like this when they were little, the boys had loved finding rocks and interesting insects and leaves and spotting wild animals.

Abby was just as curious, and indeed had stopped to see a painted turtle as it walked slowly across the path. "Ooh! Pretty!"

The painted turtle, upon realizing something BIG was about to touch it, immediately withdrew its head and feet into its shell, which was brightly colored with green, yellow, purple, blue, and red splotches, and its side spikes, a deterrent against being eaten, emerged from its shell.

"Abby, careful, dearie!"Rumple warned. "Don't touch!"

Too late. The energetic toddler reached out and tried to pick up the pretty turtle . . .and the spikes cut her little hands.

"Owww!" she screamed and dropped the turtle.

Rumple limped over to her and said, "Let me see, sprite."

"Rumple, what happened?" Belle cried, turning around.

Abby was crying, her hands pierced by the turtle's spikes and dripping blood.

"It's okay, Belle. She picked up a painter turtle when it was in defense mode and it pricked her," Rumple told her. "Papa will heal you, babydoll." He knelt to take his daughter's hand in his own to heal it.

He started to use his magic to do so when some blood leaked onto his hand, and it triggered a nasty flashback.

_Suddenly he was back on Skull Rock, after one of Pan's horrid "experiments" with the dark magic, and he was holding onto a little boy who was covered with puncture wounds from boring beetles . . .so named because they bored through anything in their way . . .and Pan had set a dozen of them on the helpless boy . . .and encouraged him to use his magic to prevent them from hurting him . . but the child hadn't been able to stop them and Pan had grown angry and allowed the beetles to attack the boy._

_Rumple had been forced to watch as the beetles bored through the child's tender flesh . . .and the screams still echoed in his ears . . ._

_Now he held the little boy as he cried and bled all over him, dying from the beetles' torture and the acid they secreted as they bored._

_"I'm s-so . . .c-cold . . .C-Captain Gold . . ." the child, whose name was Max, whimpered, clutching him with his hand, smearing blood on Gold's shirt._

_"Shh, lad . . . you'll be warm soon . . ." he murmured, biting back a sob, because he knew the boy was going into shock and dying. "Just hold onto me, okay?"_

_" . . . m'cold . . .n' I want my mama . . ." Max shivered._

_"I know . . ." Rumple held the boy tighter, watching as the boy's eyes fixed on him, seeing them go glassy with shock._

_"Captain Gold . . can you tell me a story . . . my mama always did . .. when I was . . .scared . . ."_

_Gold squeezed his eyes shut. Gods . . .oh gods . . .I can't . .. no, I have to be strong . . .make his last moments peaceful . . ._

_"Tell me a story, Daddy!" mocked Pan from the entryway._

_Rumple jerked his head up. "Shut up, Pan!" he spat._

_The other sneered at him, flushed with the Power and life energy he'd taken while the boy was being tortured. "Go on then, Gold. Do what you do best . . . save the kid! Oh, I forgot! You can't . . .because you're a useless coward!"_

_Then Pan spun on his heel and left, knowing his words had cut the other man like a whip._

_Rumple bowed his head. Then he gathered himself and began. "Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Max. One day he was bored . . .and ran through his house and made mischief of one kind and another . . .and his mama cried, "You're a wild thing!" and sent him to his room . . ."_

_The captain continued in his soft voice, spinning a yarn of a boy who traveled to a magical island filled with wild creatures and became their king . . until he felt the child in his arms breathe his last . .. and he looked down and saw the small face still in his arms, eyes fixed upon a sight not of this world, and the blood smeared on his hands where Max had clutched him . . ._

Rumple came back to himself with a start.

He stared down at Abby's little hand, which was barely bleeding any longer as his magic had healed it.

"Papa? Fix the other!" she wept, holding up her other hand.

_Blood . .. so much blood on my hands . . ._

In that instant, guilt slammed into him, guilt that overwhelmed and swamped him.

He shook his head rapidly. "No! No more blood on my hands!"

He sprang up and began half-running and staggering towards the trees, trying desperately to outrun his demons.

"Rumple!" Belle called as she raced over to where her daughter was standing, holding her hand and bawling, "Papa! No leave!"

Bae and Robin stared as their father bolted like a spooked horse into the trees.

"What the hell, Rob? What the _hell_?"

"Maybe he's sick or something?" Robin mused, gaping.

Belle went and took the crying Abby into her arms. "It's okay, baby. I can fix it," she healed the child's hand. Then she stared off into the trees, feeling in her mind her husband's turmoil. _Oh, Rumple! Another flashback?_

Abby was quite upset. "Mama . . .Papa's gone!"

"Shh, Abby, Papa got . . .sick and needed to have some . . . err . . .privacy . . .." she looked helplessly at her sons.

"Mama, what happened to him?" asked Bae.

"It's a flashback I think, Bae. Would one of you go after him? He . . .he's not in his right mind now and I don't want him to get hurt."

"I will, Mama," Robin volunteered. "Bae, stay here with Mama and Abby. I'll see if I can't convince Papa to come back."

He used his own Talent at reconnaissance to track Rumple's mage aura, slipping through the trees like a ghost. Not that he really needed his magic, he could have tracked the older man just fine using his eyes and ears, for Rumple had left a trail even a blind deaf man could have followed with ease.

As Robin trailed him, he wondered what sort of thing could have caused his normally unflappable papa to behave like that. It was very unnerving to see his commander, the usually calm and super controlled and strong captain, running off into the woods like a madman. No, not crazy, he reminded himself—just beset by demons only his eyes could see.

_What the hell did Pan do you, Papa, on that Godforsaken rock?_

Rumple paused briefly to catch his breath, his head hurting like the dickens and he felt sick to his stomach. He kept looking at his hands and seeing blood on them, then wiping them frantically on his pants. He could still hear Abby crying in his head, and he cursed himself for a coward for running away.

In his mind, Pan laughed and laughed.

_Not such a hero now, Captain Gold. Are you? Are you? All those children dead . . . because of you!_

He pressed the heel of his hand to his head. He had a raging headache and wished he dared summon a Headache Remedy to him. Or go back and ask Belle if she had brought one, but how could he face his family after running off like a lunatic?

Everything had been going so well, until his damned brain had chosen to go off on him. He couldn't understand why he couldn't just forget . . .why his mind insisted upon dragging him through the swamp of his past captivity. _You're a mage captain, pull yourself together!_ He ordered firmly.

But he feared he never could. He was splintered and broken . . .and he feared like Humpty Dumpty, not all of the king's men, or even his loving wife, could put him together again.

His head throbbed viciously and he felt tears sting his eyes, and he wept, though not so much from pain as from the terrible sickening guilt and grief that swept through him in waves, as he recalled Max and the other boys he had watched die . . .and he wished like hell he had been able to activate his trigger spell before Pan had slapped the bracers of Nullification on him, cancelling his magic.

As a Black Ops soldier, Rumple and his company had been trained to withstand torture and coercion spells. But all men had their breaking point and that was why they were all taught the trigger spell—a spell that would stop the caster's heart if they were ever in a situation where they were captured and tortured beyond endurance. They could die rather than betray their fellow soldiers and their monarchs.

And if that failed, there was always the blue pill . . .a quick acting poison that killed in two minutes, and rendered the person mute and shut down their brain function before any information could be extracted by magical means.

But Pan, being a former Black Ops mage himself, knew about both the spell and the pill, and had Rumple searched before he incarcerated him upon Skull Rock.

Rumple's head drooped and he rubbed his leg, which was also throbbing.

His throat was dry and he licked his lips. He decided to go and get himself a drink, he knew there was a stream nearby.

As he limped off towards it, he heard something in the brush. He turned and saw a blue scarf sticking out of the brush.

Rumple went over and found the limp form of a person lying there.

And not just any person, but one he knew.

It was Marian DuBois, Robin's beloved.

She was lying in a heap on the ground, her tunic smoking from a hole the size of an arrow shaft through her chest . . .but the hole he knew wasn't cause by any mundane weapon, but a magical bolt.

"Marian . . ." he cried. "Oh gods of the wood . . .who the hell did this to you?"

He knelt and put his hands upon the awful gaping wound, which did not bleed because the magic had cauterized it.

_Hurry, you pathetic excuse for a commander! Before you lose her!_

He could feel her life force dwindling beneath his touch, and he took a deep breath and murmured, "Stay with me now, dearie. Stay with me."

Then he began to heal, using his magic to first strengthen her faltering heart, then stabilize her breathing, then he went and healed the gaping wound itself, spending his magical strength in swift sharp bursts, his hands glowing with a brilliant white light.

Robin burst into the clearing. "Papa! What are you—holy hells! Marian!"

He rushed over to the stricken woman, but then halted as his father's training took over. Rumple had taught him by the time he could write to never _ever_ interrupt a mage in a Healing or Seeing trance.

He watched in awe as his father healed his beloved, and when he took his hands away, Marian was whole, awake, and quite alive.

"Welcome back, dearie," Rumple smiled at the young woman.

"Oh! Captain Gold!" Marian gasped, one hand going to her heart. "You . . . you saved me! Thank you!"

"Marian! What happened?" Robin demanded, now going to kneel beside her and take her in his arms. "Who attacked you? Whoever it is—I'm going to use their hide for a wall decoration!"

"I wouldn't mind that . . .seeing as it's my traitor comrade Zelena," Marian said tightly, hugging Robin.

"Zelena! I thought she was long gone from here!" Robin exclaimed.

"No longer. She's back . . .and she means to have her revenge," Marian said darkly. "On Captain Mills . . .and on you and your family, Captain Gold."

Rumple's face went black with rage. "If she harms so much as a hair on any of my family's heads, I'm going to kill her!"

"I was walking over to meet you when she came at me from behind," Marian related. "I turned around to see what had hit me and she was there, and she laughed, that stupid laugh she has, and screamed, "Give my regards to Gold and my sister, little maid! Wicked always wins!" Or some such nonsense. Then she blasted me with a mage bolt before I could block her. She's one string short of a spool of thread, I'll tell you."

"She's always been unstable and mercurial," Rumple snorted. "I told Regina that long ago. We need to call out an alert and warn everyone in town before she hurts or kills someone else." He levered himself to his feet.

His raging headache had miraculously disappeared. The fog of depression and grief had lifted from his mind, and he could think once again, clearly and decisively. He had a mission and a purpose once again . . .and this time he would not fail those he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: yes, the title of this chapter was inspired by a Nicholas Sparks book. And Max and the story Gold tells him was also inspired bya famous kids book-"Where the Wild Things Are." Where do you think Zelena has gone?


	9. A Line In the Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Battle lines are drawn between Captain Gold and Zelena and Belle helps comfort and support her husband during this dark time

**Return From Neverland**

**Snapegirlkmf**

**1**

**Homecoming**

**This story will feature a very different version of Rumple and Belle, and also cover a topic that I have wanted to do with them both for a long time. This story is rated M for some violence and sensitive topics, such as PTSD and POWs, but will focus mainly on healing and therapy for such individuals. All disclaimers apply, written with great respect and love for actors Robert Carlyle and Emilie deRavin and also all our men and women in the armed forces, thank you for your service and your sacrifice.**

**When he limped off the deck of the Navy transport ship _Jolly Roger,_ captained by Navy officer Killian Jones of the Royal Navy of Perelandria, a seafaring kingdom to the south of the Enchanted Forest, war mage and Captain of the company Magical Mayhem, Rumplestiltskin Gold was unsure of the reception he’d be getting. A veteran of the First Ogre War, he’d been drafted into the army as a naïve eighteen year old and given command as a corporal of a company, and later moved up to sergeant because his CO had bit it while engaging the enemy on a night maneuver. His heroic actions in saving a camp full of children from being eaten by the ogre battalion had resulted in his promotion to Captain . . . and commander of his own corps of magical personnel, Company Gold, nicknamed Magical Mayhem by his former commander, a sorcerer called Malcolm Pan. **

**Years later, Captain Gold and his company had been called upon again for a secret mission by the Royal Council of his homeland, the Enchanted Forest. Children between the ages of nine and twelve had been disappearing for over a year and no one could figure out how or why, until Rumple’s son, Lieutenant Baelfire Gold, had gone undercover to Neverland, using a regression potion to pose as a child and see what was happening to all of these missing children. He discovered Neverland was home to the now notorious Commander Pan, Rumple former CO, who was using it as a base to bring captive children to and take their youth and strength in dark rituals.**

**Pan had become dark soon after returning home from the Ogre Wars, where he had stolen a dagger from a defeated ogre shaman. The dagger, known in their tongue as _Dharka Ruus_ —the Dark One—was a cursed item, and it would make its wielder into a powerful dark mage. . . with the price being the wielder’s soul.   Instead of destroying the dagger, as he had been commanded to by the Council, Pan kept it, reasoning that he could handle such power, and he took the deal the cursed weapon offered, and fell into madness and eternal darkness, becoming a legendary Shadow Mage, and the next Dark One.**

**Driven from his homeland, Pan wandered for many years, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, until he suddenly vanished for years . . .only to be discovered on Neverland by Bae. Because of Rumple’s reputation as a war hero, and commander of one of the finest magical companies in the history of the Forest Brigades, the Council requested Rumple and most of his company to go on a top secret mission—their objective—take down Pan and his allies and free whatever children remained and bring them home again.**

**Three months, two weeks, and five days ago, Captain Gold had boarded _The Jolly Roger_ and set sail for Neverland, leaving behind his wife, Mind Mage and retired Lieutenant Belle Gold, and their sixteen-month-old daughter Abigail. He had walked into the jungles of Neverland, intending to complete his mission in a timely fashion and return home to his family.**

**He had very nearly never come out again.**

**It was only due to a daring rescue attempt by his son, Bae, master sergeant Emma Swan, Corporeal Jefferson “the Mad Hatter” Moreaux, foster son, Robin Locksley, and his Aerial Specialist, a fae named Tinkerbell, that he was freed from his prison on Skull Rock, and managed to turn the tables on his former commander and put an end to him once and for all.**

**Now he came home . . .but he knew he was not the same man who had left. Due to Pan’s brutal treatment and torture, he was now lame in his right leg, and had to use a cane, the Healers doubted if he would ever be able to walk without it for the rest of his life.**

**But what was worse than even the physical effects were the psychological ones. Pan had been an expert on mind games and control, and Rumple knew that the evil bastard had broken something within him during the eight weeks of captivity on Skull Rock. Something essential had been left behind. Refusing all attempts at a standard psych evaluation, Rumplestiltskin had pledge his word to the Council that he would submit to treatment at the hands of the one person he trusted most—his wife.**

**His hand gripping his new gold handled cane, Captain Gold made his way down the gangplank of the ship to the docks where a crowd had gathered. He squinted in the sunlight, wincing as the light seared his now sensitive eyes. After being held in a dark cell for eight weeks, the sunlight seemed almost surreal to him, as did the fact that he was able to move further than the sixty paces of his cell, and breathe air not tainted by the stench of dark magic and death.**

**He was followed by the members of his company, seven strong, all save for Belle. Next to him walked his fellow Captain, Regina Mills, commander of the Red Queens, an all-female company. On his other side was his new company Mind Healer, wet-behind-the-ears fresh out of the Healer Academy recruit Lieutenant Archie Hopper.**

**His foot caught on an uneven bit of wood and he stumbled.**

**“Sir, do you need some assistance?” Archie began, offering a hand.**

**“No thank you, Lieutenant. I’m fine,” Rumple barked coldly, frustrated that he could no longer manage such a simple thing as walking.**

**“Of course, sir! Sorry, sir!” Archie flinched and gave a rather sloppy salute.**

**Regina rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to salute all the time, Lieutenant.”**

**“No, ma’am! I mean, yes ma’am!” the youngster blushed red as an apple.**

**“And don’t mind Gold. He’s always a beast before he’s had three cups of coffee,” she smirked at her fellow commander.**

**“That’s the kettle calling the cauldron black, dearie,” Rumple retorted, his mouth quirking in a rare smile. “I seem to remember some of your girls nicknamed you the Wicked Witch for biting their heads off before you drank yours.”**

**Regina laughed. “Soldiers always bitch and moan, and my girls sometimes more than most of them.” She linked her arm through Rumple’s. “C’mon, Gold, walk the line. We’ll give the locals something to see . . .unless you’d rather they remember you falling on your ass because you were too stubborn to take my hand?”**

**“That a proposition, dearie?” he smirked.**

**“In your dreams, Gold! You think I want Belle after me with her knives?” Regina snorted. “We’d both end up skinned and hung on a wall. Besides, Daniel and Henry are waiting for me.”**

**With Regina’s arm to steady him, Rumple made his way onto the docks.**

**Amid a burst of cheering and applause.**

**“Huh. Guess old Guisborne told people what we were really up to this time . . . instead of letting that newshound Glass find out about it beforehand,” Rumple said.**

**“It’s a miracle,” Regina coughed.**

**Sydney Glass was the editor of the newspaper, the Magic Mirror, and notorious for digging up dirt on the military, even war heroes like Rumple and Regina. And General Guy Guisborne, head of the Intelligence Division of the Royal Armed forces, should have known better than to let that yellow bellied journalist get the jump on him last time, Rumple thought sourly.**

**Then again, when you were Black Ops and on a mission, only the success of that mission mattered, and only when it was over could you reveal the truth . . . and sometimes not even then.**

**Suddenly a tall dark-haired man in the uniform of a cavalry officer raced into view, carrying a little boy on his shoulder who screamed, “Mommy! Mommy’s home!”**

**Regina pulled away from Rumple to greet her husband and son. “Dan! Henry!” she cried, and hugged them both in a smothering embrace.**

**Archie smiled and murmured to Rumple, “Funny, but I’d heard she was a tough-as-nails bitch on wheels, and yet . . .she’s like any other mother with her kid over there.”**

**The captain slanted him a wry look. “Something you need to learn, Lieutenant. She _is_ a hardass bitch, just like I’m the beast’s bastard, when we’re on campaign. But when we come home again . . . we’re like any other husband, wife, or parent . . . glad to be there and hoping to stay put.”**

**“But . . . didn’t you volunteer for the Neverland mission, sir?” the young Healer asked. “Captain Turner said your company was the first to do so, and then Captain Mills’. . .”**

**“That’s true. We were . . . because Pan needed to be stopped and those kids gotten back and we were the best ones for the job. But if you think any of us were in it for the glory and honor of the corps or any of that bullshit, think again.” Rumple said bluntly. “Here’s something they’ll never tell you at the Academy, dearie. The only place a soldier _wants_ to be— _is home._ But until we get home . . .we’re the meanest sons of bitches you’ve ever met, if that’s how it has to be. Understand?”**

**Archie gulped. “Yessir!”**

**“Now, if you’ll excuse me . . .that’s my wife and baby girl over there,” he indicated a petite woman in a pretty sapphire blue dress with puffed sleeves, her auburn curls wilting slightly in the summer heat, holding a golden brown-haired little girl in a pink rosebud dress with white shoes standing near a pillar. Her indigo eyes were also squinting from the sun, or else she would have seen her husband approaching.**

**But she was half-turned away, scanning the disembarking passengers, and half-deaf from the roar of the crowd and her little girl yelling, “Papa! Papa come home!” in her ear.**

**Rumple limped up towards her, intending to call to her, but before he could do so, she turned, as if pulled by an invisible thread, and their eyes met.**

**“Rumplestiltskin!” she cried, speaking his name as if it were a talisman to ward away the dark, trying to hide her shock at how thin he was, his leather uniform hung off his slender frame and his beautiful brown hair now had streaks of gray running through it. Then of course there was his leg, he had written to her about it, but even he had not prepared her for the reality of it.**

**“Belle!” he called, his face lighting up, and he limped the three steps to her side, and caught them both in a one armed hug.**

**“Welcome home, Captain!” she murmured and their mouths met in a brief kiss.**

**Until a tiny sprite suddenly launched herself at him, hollering, “Papa! Papa home!”**

**Gold staggered, trying to brace himself against the pillar as the child grabbed him about the neck. “Abby! How’s my best girl? My gods, you’re almost big enough to knock me down,” he joked, trying to cover for his disability.**

**“Abby, be careful!” Belle scolded gently. “Papa’s leg—”**

**“—it’s fine, Belle,” Gold cut her off abruptly, shifting his weight so the newly healed muscles weren’t screaming at him. He kissed his daughter’s cheek, hugging her and his wife in his good arm.**

**“Didja miss me?” the little scamp asked.**

**“I missed you—” he began.**

**“—all the way t’the moon n’ back?” they recited together, and then she laughed.**

**“She doesn’t miss a trick, does she?” he said to his wife. “Like her mama.”**

**“She nearly climbed out the window the other day,” Belle said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “And when I asked her what she thought she was doing she said she was gonna fly to Neverland and bring you home!”**

**“Little minx!” Rumple chuckled.**

**“I think I have a gray hair now,” Belle teased. “See?” she held an auburn tress up for him to inspect.**

**Rumple pretended to examine it, and as he did so, the smoke from a chimney from the tavern on the docks floated over to tickle his nostrils.**

**And suddenly that innocuous scent caused his mind to spin back to the dark cell on Skull Rock, where he smelled the stench of burned flesh, his own and those of the captive children Pan needed for his sacrifices.**

**_Once again he was in the dark cave . . . his nostrils filled with the burnt offerings of the sacrifices . . . hearing Pan’s maniacal laughter over the screams of the children . . ._ **

**“Rumple!” Belle called, feeling the sudden shift in his emotions, as she sometimes could because of the bond between them, though she had shut it down at his insistence when he had left for Neverland. “Rumple, what happened?” she queried gently.**

**She could feel his heart racing beneath her hand, his eyes had suddenly gone dark with pain, and his breath had come in harsh pants.**

**“Nothing. I’m fine.” But his eyes would not meet hers.**

**And Belle knew then that as his Mind Healer and therapist, she had her work cut out for her. _My poor Rumple! What in hell did that bastard do to you?_ She pressed her lips to his cheek, feeling his skin was now clammy and cold, though they stood in the midst of the hottest part of the summer. **

**“Come on, Rumple. Let’s go home. Before Abby gets cranky.”**

**Putting her arm unobtrusively about his waist, Belle turned carefully, and they began to walk out of the crowd.**

**Only to be met at the edge of it by her two stepsons, Bae and Robin, and nearly picked up off her feet by their enthusiastic greetings.**

**Rumple leaned on his cane and watched as his sons hugged their stepmother, shaking his head. “Gods and hells, did I teach you two no manners?”**

**“Ooh, you said a bad word!” scolded his daughter, shaking her tiny finger at him. “Now you’s gonna eat soap!”**

**Rumple looked chagrined. “Papa’s sorry, sprite,” he said, too late recalling that little pitchers had big ears. And that he was no longer among his company, and had better watch what he said. He gave her his best puppydog look. “Forgive me?”**

**Abby smirked at him. “Yup! I loves Papa!”**

**“Love you too, baby,” he crooned, and buried his nose in her flyaway hair that smelled like strawberries, trying to erase the stench of burnt flesh from his memory.**

**Captain Gold had come home—a hero. Or had he?**

**A/N: Hope you liked the first chapter. Most of this story will be told through Rumple’s eyes, sometimes through flashbacks, and as Belle does sessions with him you’ll discover what he went through as Pan’s prisoner. Occasionally this will get dark, but nothing graphic. Belle and Rumple’s daughter, Abigail, will also play a major role here, Abigail’s name means “a father’s joy” and you’ll see the reason I chose that in future chapters, as well as meet the rest of Rumple’s company and family.**

 

**2**

**Midnight’s Inferno**

 

After her sons’ enthusiastic greeting, Belle said, “So how are you two holding up?”

“We’re good, Mama,” Bae answered. Both he and Robin were also dressed in leather, but theirs was dyed to different shades of earth and green tones, unlike Rumple’s plain black dragonscale. That was because he and Robin were Recon—Reconnaissance and Scouting—experts.

“We just wanna go home and unpack and get out of these uniforms,” Robin said, his dark eyes glinting. “But we’ll be back for supper.” They lived in a small house along the same street as Rumple and Belle. And had since they were both eighteen and decided to move out of their parents’ house and live together in one. The “boys” were now in their early twenties. “Hiya, Abby!” he turned to hug Abby.

The little girl held out her chubby arms to him. “Wobin!” she cried, lisping his name.

Robin picked her up and kissed her. “Hey, little love bug! How you been?”

She giggled. “Jus’ fine n’dandy!” she responded, then she kissed him. “Mmma! Abby kiss Wobin!”

“How about me, sprite?” Bae asked, pretending to look sad. “You forget your older brother?”

“Bae-bae!” she screeched and almost wriggled out of Robin’s hold. “Give kisses!”

“Whoa! You’re slipperier than a squid that doesn’t want to get caught,” Robin cried, and handed his sister to Bae.

Abby threw her arms around Bae and gave him a smacking kiss on the mouth. “ _My_ Bae-bae!”

Robin laughed. “I think someone’s gonna be a wee bit jealous once she finds out about Emma, huh, Bae?” He elbowed his brother playfully.

“Uh . . . we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Bae said, and kissed his sister back. Abby adored both her big brothers, but for some reason had formed a deeper attachment to him, probably because he had taken care of her once when both his parents had been out on an assignment with Robin. She had been only over a year and had developed a high fever and had convulsions. Scared him out of his life, but luckily the Healer had been able to bring the fever down using combinations of herbs and magic. Bae had taken care of the little girl ceaselessly all night. But ever since then, he’d been _her_ Bae-bae, as she called him since she couldn’t pronounce Baelfire.

But recently, like just before they’d gone on the Neverland mission, Bae started dating Sergeant Swan. And while usually it was frowned on for an officer to date an enlisted person, since Emma was a master sergeant, she was the top rank for an enlisted, and so almost like an officer, so people looked the other way.

And Abby who generally got along with everyone, would probably throw a fit at seeing another woman so close with her brother.

He smiled at the little imp, who was the apple of everyone’s eye in the merc barracks, Steeleville, which was a separate area, almost like a little village, where the merc companies, like Gold’s Magical Mayhem and Regina’s Red Queens, were quartered. “You been good, Miss Gold?”

Abby nodded seriously. “Uh huh. I twy.”

“Yeah and I bet she tries harder than we ever did,” Robin chuckled.

“Oh, I’m sure that’s true,” Gold drawled. “At least I don’t have angry shopkeepers and merchants banging on my door demanding money for something you boys stole.”

Robin spread his hands. “Uh . . . but we were performing community service, Papa. Robbing the rich and giving to the poor.”

“Yeah, right. Marian DuBois was NOT poor, Robin!” Rumple wagged a chiding finger at him.

“You were stealing hair ribbons and brooches to give to her to get her to go out with you!” Bae hooted.

“And it worked, because she did!” Robin huffed. “And it was worth every minute of scrubbing latrines and Papa’s spanking too.” He pointed out. “And you were doing it right along with me, Baelfire, so let’s not forget that.”

“Kelptos, the pair of them!” Rumple sighed. “I damn near wore my hand out on you two.”

Bae laughed. “And my butt hasn’t forgotten it.”

“Your poor father! You drove him insane,” Belle said.

Abby looked from Bae to Robin to Rumple then piped up with, “You’s _bad_ boys!” she made a tisking noise. Frowning, she added, “Papa no spank _me_ , cuz I’s a good girl!”

They all laughed at that.

“She’s right. She very rarely needs a swat,” Belle said. “Though she has her moods at times. But all Rumple or I have to do is Look at her and she stops.”

“The Look of Doom,” Bae chuckled. “Yeah . . .that worked on me . . . sometimes.”

“Me too,” Robin recalled. “Except when we chose to ignore it.”

“And then our butts regretted it,” Bae murmured. He handed Abby back to Rumple. “Here, Papa. Take your angel girl home.”

Rumple smiled as his baby nestled against his shoulder. “I’ll see you two at 1700 sharp then.”

“Yes, sir!” his sons said in unison.

“We’ll bring a bottle of wine to celebrate,” Robin promised, then he walked off whistling an old tune about a soldier coming home from war, his rucksack slung over his shoulder.

Bae followed a moment later, with Rumple and Belle bringing up the rear, moving slowly in deference to Rumple’s leg.

Abby wriggled and said, “Down, Papa! Walk now!”

“Okay, but you hold my hand,” he stressed to her. “Or else the hungry hungry monsters will come eat you up.”

“No!” she yelped and when he set her down, she clung to his hand like a barnacle.

Rumple winked at Belle. “Works every time.”

She smiled lovingly at him. “She missed you so much, Rum. And so did I.”

“I know. But I’m home now . . .and will be staying home. Convalescent leave,” he grimaced at his leg.

She touched his arm lightly. “And we need to schedule some sessions, Rumplestiltskin. You promised.”

He scowled briefly. “I know. And my word has always been good.” He had a reputation as a shrewd negotiator but his word was ironclad.

“If . . . you don’t feel comfortable with that, you can always see Archie,” she reminded him as they walked.

“No. That’s the whole reason why I chose you, dearie. Because I won’t have anyone _but_ you inside my head, not for any reason. You’re the only one I trust enough to do that.”

Belle nodded. As a Mind Healer and Empath, she was trained to travel inside a patient’s mind to help them face their fears and confront their demons, and to heal what had been broken. But there was a level of trust that came with that sort of magic, and if the patient was not willing to trust his Healer, all of the sessions would fail. Rumple, she knew, trusted very few people to get inside his head, and therefore had requested that if he were to receive the standard treatment given to POW’s, he wanted no one but Belle to be his Mind Healer. And the Royal Council valued him too much to fight him over this . . . they wanted their top magical soldier back in fighting form as soon as possible . . .and so they allowed it, even though normally such would not be the case.

“All right. Tomorrow then, we can begin,” his wife said. She thought it best to start as soon as possible, since she knew nightmares had to be plaguing her husband. “But for tonight . . . let’s celebrate that I have my boys safe and sound where they belong. Right, Abby?”

“Papa an’ Bae-bae an’ Wobin come home! Yay!” she screeched, then she pulled Rumple down the street towards their home, which was a two story maple home with salmon colored shingles and trim.

It was distinguished from every other officer’s home by the climbing rose trellis and the ward posts on the house and grounds, which were triangular posts with silvery runes in them, Rumple’s magic protecting his family from anything or anyone that meant them harm.

Rumple relaxed a fraction when he saw the familiar house . . .which he had raised two rambunctious boys and now his tiny sprite in and carried his beloved Healer over the threshold of to begin their married life together. He felt the familiar tingle of the active ward spell pas over him as they crossed the boundary and he thought, _you’re home now, Gold. Now relax, you old beast._

He intended to do just that, because what he’d told the young Lieutenant was correct . . . the one place a soldier always longed for was home. And for him it had always been home and family, even when some of his family accompanied him on missions.

 _Safe and sound, Rumple._ He smiled as he allowed himself to be towed up the walk and smelled the scent of roses and honeysuckles that permeated the air. It was good to be home.

Yet in the back of his mind, an unpleasant odor still lingered.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

_Later that night:_

Belle slowly undressed and sat on the side of the bed, combing out her hair. Rumple was just tucking their daughter into her bed and singing to her until she fell asleep, a fatherly duty she knew he enjoyed and had missed while away. She smiled as she heard his voice singing the refrain to the old lullaby, and ran the brush through her hair. She always brushed out her hair, one hundred strokes, like her mama had taught her, every night before going to sleep.

As her lush auburn tresses crackled around the brush, she considered letting down her shields to read her husband’s emotional state. Normally an Empathic Healer, such as herself, never did so without permission, for such was considered an invasion of privacy, but she and Rumple shared a heartbond—a rare Empathic entwining of each other’s hearts and minds, so that she could always feel him, on some level, even when he was thousands of miles away. Unless she was consciously blocking him out.

Which she had done, at his insistence, before he’d left on the transport to Neverland. But now that he was home, her heart cried out to remove the block and let her feel his golden presence again. But she hesitated. Perhaps it was too soon . . . and she’d better wait until tomorrow’s session . . .

She hummed the lullaby’s refrain while counting the strokes, and had reached twenty-five when she heard the tap of his cane upon the floor and she looked up to see him enter the bedroom.

“She asleep finally?”

“Yeah. After three stories, a drink, going potty, and me singing _Good Night Sleep Tight_ till I went hoarse,” he laughed.

“You loved every minute of it, Captain Gold.”

“You know it, sweetheart,” he winked roguishly at her and went to sit beside her on the bed. “May I?” he held his hand out for the brush.

“Of course, love,” she surrendered the brush to him and allowed him to continue the chore. As he brushed gently and firmly, she said, “You always did love brushing my hair, Rumple.”

“Because I love how it feels beneath my hands,” he murmured, smoothing the tresses with his scarred fingers. “Like watered silk on fire.”

“The soldier with a poet’s heart.”

“I was a spinner before I was a soldier, dearie.” He deftly untangled a knot, so lightly she barely felt it.

“I can tell.” She leaned back into him, feeling the old rush of warmth and heat flow through her. She knew of no other man who could arouse her with the simple act of brushing her hair. But her husband could.

With each stroke of the brush, and the intoxicating smell of honey and lavender that wafted through his nostrils, Rumple felt his own libido awaken and clamor to be fed. And this time he didn’t use meditation to send it back to sleep, as he’d done upon that accursed island. This time he let it out, and felt fire lick through him, a steady burning need that only one person could put out.

He set the brush aside. “One hundred, dearie. Now come to bed, please,” he said, his eyes dark with passion.

Belle turned and wound herself around him. She always loved this side of him, the passionate side, but also the fact that, unlike most soldiers, he never took without asking. He was always polite and considerate of her needs as well as his own. And for that she loved him best of all.

She kissed him long and deeply. “I love you, my war mage. Now let me welcome you back home properly.”

“Love you too, dearie. And I’ve been looking forward to this for a long long time . . .” and then he pulled her onto the bed and they lost themselves in each other, merging seamlessly together in a dance whose steps they knew like their own hearts.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

He dreamed of fire.

_Fire licked the outer walls of Skull Rock’s cavern, the smoke and heat trickling insidiously into the porous rock and clinging to the walls, causing the children trapped inside to cough and gasp for air._

_Inside his cell, Captain Gold gasped too, the breath rasping in his throat . . . knowing that if he didn’t get free soon he would roast here along with the other captives._

_He could hear the crackling hiss of the flames as they ate their way through the floor and the heat of the fire cloaked everything in a shimmering haze of hellish red mingled with the ever present shadows._

_Just when he was sure he was going to breathe his last upon the stone floor, his cell door was jerked open and he heard a familiar voice crying, “Papa! Let’s get the hell outta this shithole!”_

_“Bae!” he coughed as he recognized his son._

_“You didn’t think Pan could hide you forever on this rock, huh?” Bae said, coming to help him up off the floor. He swore when he realized Rumple could no longer stand on his own. “Gods, Papa, what’d he do to you . . .!”_

_“What he’s always done. Destroyed my happiness . . .” Rumple gritted out. “Need a staff, Bae . . . and then you need to get them out . . . all the children . . . trapped . . . get them out!” he pleaded._

_“Shhh . . . okay, we’ll get them out . . .I promise, but first let’s get you out . . .”_

_He began to help Rumple out of the cell._

_As soon as he was free of the cell’s magic, Rumple felt his powers return in a rush._

_And he used them, Fetching the children from their fiery inferno and depositing them safely outside upon the rocky beach. Some of them he was too late to save . . ._

He woke with the stench of fire in his nostrils and knew he had to save the children.

Half blinded by tears, he rolled out of bed, forgetting his cane, and cursed viciously when his damaged leg crumpled beneath him.

Clinging to the bed, he grabbed his cane and limped out the door, one thought in his mind.

_There was a fire and he had to save the children._

He knew there was a child here . . .the memory tickled him . . . and as he limped into Abby’s room, he saw flames preceding him and licking up the walls.

Panicked, he went and snatched the sleeping child from the bed.

“Got to save you . . . fire . . .!” he rasped.

In his arms, Abby stirred. “Papa . . .mmmm . . .sleepy . . .!” Cranky from being woken up, she started to cry.

He hugged her to him. “Shhh . . .Papa’s got you . . . gonna take you away . . . . don’t be scared . . .”

Abby’s thin wail roused Belle, and she woke to find her husband gone and knew instinctively something was not right.

“Rumple!” she called as she jumped out of bed, her Empathic senses screaming in warning.

Rumple was about to teleport away with a frightened Abby in his arms, his eyes wild and seeing things that weren’t there, when Belle raced into the room.

She skidded to a stop when she saw her husband, his eyes not even tracking on her, but filled with an unnamed terror, holding her child, who was crying and whimpering. She dropped her shields then, and felt what he was feeling.

It slammed into her in a rush and she gasped softly, then her training took over and she compartmentalized the images and emotions. Back in control, she held out a hand and called softly, “Rumplestiltskin! Wake up! You’re dreaming! There’s no fire . . . your children are safe . . .”

He blinked. “Gotta save them . . . they’ll die . . . burn to death . . .”

“Papa . . .sleepy . . .!” Abby howled.

He flinched. “ . . . they’re crying . . . I can hear them . . .”

In his head he heard the screaming of all the children whom he’d heard Pan torture . . . and he was helpless to save them . . .

“Useless . . . coward . . .” He slammed a hand down on his leg. “ . . .can’t do anything . . . gotta save the children . . .”

Belle tried again, reaching out with her power, trying to contain his rampaging flashback. As her min touched his with her empathic power, she crooned, “Rumple . . . listen to me . . . there’s no fire . . . you’re home . . . with me and Abby . . .now wake up . . . what you’re seeing isn’t real . . .”

“Of course it’s real! I was there . . . I can hear them screaming . . .” He began to glow with a purple light, a prelude to using his powers to teleport.

“No!” Belle shouted, desperate to prevent that from happening. In this state, he could teleport them both into a wall or a tree. “Rumplestiltskin Gold—wake up!” she used her power then to cocoon the memory, sending it back to the dark recesses of his subconscious.

Rumple shook his head, confused. “What . . . where . . .?” he stared at the sobbing child in his arms and then at Belle. “Abby . . . hey, it’s okay . . .” He patted her back. “Belle . . . what am I doing here . . .? She have a nightmare?”

“Sort of.” Belle said. “Why don’t you go back and lie down, Rumple? I’ll be there in a bit, okay?” she didn’t want to tell him about the flashback right away. Relief shot through her that she was able to halt him in time.

She came and took their daughter from him, whispering, “Hush, sprite, Mama’s here and we’re gonna go back to sleep, okay?”

Now that Rumple wasn’t feeling the false energy of the flashback, he was suddenly weary and limped back to his room. His head felt muzzy and he laid down on the bed, feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

Something happened to him . . .and he needed to know what it was.

After five minutes, Belle returned to the bedroom. “I sent her back to sleep, she’s okay,” she assured him. She had used a bit of her empathic talent to do so, soothing the child until she fell asleep again.

“Belle . . . what the hell just happened?” Rumple asked. “One minute I was asleep . . . and the next I was . . . holding Abby . . . and I can’t remember how I got there!”

She came and curled up beside him. “You had a night terror, Rumple . . . one that you never fully woke from . . . and you thought you needed to save some kids from a fire . . . so you went and grabbed Abby out of her bed . . .”

“Oh gods!” he closed his eyes. “Flashback . . . gods dammit . . . I scared her, didn’t I . . .?”

“You woke her up. She was more cranky than scared . . .but Rumple, you almost teleported with her,” Belle said.

He shuddered. “I’m dangerous, Belle. I’m losing my mind! You need to bind my powers . . . lock me up . . . I don’t want to hurt you or my baby . . .!”

“No! You’re not losing your mind,” she whispered, hugging him. “Rumple, it was a flashback. It happens . . . we can deal with it . . .and I’m not locking you away or binding your magic . . .” she declared fiercely. To bind a sorcerer’s power, even for a short time, was agony and she refused to do it.

“Belle . . . I’m broken . . . cracked in two . . .”

“Then I’ll fix you. Rumple . . .you need to trust me . . . please . . .”

“I do . . . you’re the only one I trust . . .”

She stroked his hair. “Then let me help you, okay?”

“Yes . . . help me, please . . .” He felt tears dribble down his cheeks.

“Shhh . . . we need to talk about this . . . but you’re tired, Rumple,” she realized as she held him. His body was weary, it needed sleep. She carded his hair. “You need to sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow morning and you can tell me everything about the fire and the children.”

“Belle . . . all the children . . . I tried to save them . . .” he sobbed. The guilt was tearing him to shreds.

“You did save them, Rumple . . .now they’re at peace . . .” she reminded him for he had saved the children during the Ogre Wars. Her hand continued rhythmically stroking his hair. “Now rest, sweetheart . . . sleep . . . and dream no dreams . . .”

She touched his mind then, absorbing his pain and blanketing him with a soft fuzzy blanket of soothing peace and contentment and shoving the guilt away for the moment. It would be dealt with . . . must be dealt with . . . but not yet.

“Sleep . . .Rumple . . .”

Her hands glowed briefly, as she cast a simple spell that would send him into a deep restful sleep without dreams, for that was what he needed now.

Rumple cuddled against her, and his breathing evened and became steady, as he fell into the deep sleep she’d conjured.

Belle breathed a sigh of relief. That had been close. But thank the gods he trusted her enough to allow her to work such on him, because if he’d fought her, she would have never been able to counter his resistance, as he was a stronger mage than she was.

 _My poor Rumple! But I will mend you! I will!_ She thought determinedly. For she would have her husband back—a whole man—no matter what it took.

Then she curled up beside him and fell into her own dreams, where she walked beside her beloved captain in a meadow of wildflowers, and Abby ran before them, picking them and throwing them all over, until she was surrounded by a blizzard of rainbow petals.

And the Gold house was at peace once again.

 

 

**3**

**Responsibility**

The next morning, Rumple woke at his usual time of 6:30 AM, and managed to go into the kitchen and start a breakfast of toast, corned beef hash and eggs over easy. He slid the eggs on top of the corned beef and put slices of toast beside each of their plates before he went to wake his sleeping beauties. He was now drooling because he hadn’t had real food in over three months, since in the field you ate dried rations—dried beef, journey bread, and dried fruit and lentil sticks. Washed down with water, since on a mission no one was allowed alcohol. And on the ship it had been salt pork and fish and cornmeal mush. Rumple had learned quickly not to be picky about food, and unlike some commanders, he ate what his company did. But now he was drooling at the prospect of something that didn’t taste like regurgitated wood pulp and smoked shoe leather.

The little family had just sat down to eat when there came a knock at the door and a boy’s voice called, “Healer Gold? I’m here to milk the goat.”

“That’ll be Henry,” Belle informed her husband at his quizzical look. “Okay Henry!” she called. “Just leave the jug by the back porch and we’ll pick it up.”

“Why’s he doing chore around our place now?” asked Rumple, cutting into his egg and eating it.

“He wants to earn money to buy a horse,” Belle answered, feeding their daughter some. “So he’s been doing odd jobs around the barracks to earn money. He milks the goat for me and grooms her, feeds her, and cleans her shed. And I pay him three silvers a week.”

“Not bad.” Gold nodded. He approved of starting children on a work ethic at a young age. Both the twins had to do chores and earn their own spending money . . . until they learned sleight-of-hand and thievery from a wandering minstrel and drove him crazy. He ate another mouthful and sighed in bliss. “Gods, I missed real food.”

“I can tell,” she said, indicating the way his shirt hung on him. Of course he’d been starved in prison, but she knew some of his lost weight had been because he’d been forced to work magic without proper meals. Using magic burned off a ton of energy and if you didn’t replace it, by eating and drinking, it would drain your body, and cause you to lose weight.

“Here, sprite,” she said, feeding Abby another mouthful of beef with egg.

The little girl grabbed the spoon. “I do, Mama!”

“Okay,” Belle said, and allowed her to try and feed herself.

Rumple asked her about how she spent her day while he was gone. He ate as she talked, polishing off three eggs, two slices of toast and half of the corned beef hash he’d made.

“You want more?” Belle queried.

“No. I’ll eat some fruit,” he shook his head, and took a peach from the bowl in the middle of the table.

“Mmm!” Abby said, as she used her spoon to eat some more of her breakfast.

Rumple turned to her. “Is that good?” he began, then he started laughing. “Gods, you’re a wreck!”

The little imp had egg all over her face, her night gown and pieces of egg and beef in her hair. “Yummy!”

“I think someone needs a bath,” Belle said, chuckling. “Will you be okay giving her one, Rum, while I run to the market? They’re having a special on fresh melon and Mistress Amelia’s got her chicken vegetable pie today and I’d like to get some before they sell out.”

“Go on. I’ll be fine,” he assured her. “I used to give the boys baths. I’m sure I can handle one itty bitty sprite. How much trouble could she be?”

“Just be warned. She likes to splash,” Belle said.

“So did Bae and Robin. Once they made a flood all over the kitchen floor,” Rumple recalled. “Here, Abby. Let me help.” He took the spoon from her before more of her breakfast end up on her than in her.

“Noo!” she whined. “I do, Papa!”

“Ah ah!” he shook a finger at her. “No whining. First I’ll give you some,” Gold said, and gave her a spoonful.

Once she had eaten it, he let her guide the spoon to her mouth with his help.

“Good girl! My turn!”

In this way he got her to eat the remainder of her food.

Belle was glad that he wasn’t fretting over the flashback and seemed relaxed with Abby and much more like his old self. She got the bath ready for him, they had one of the new hot water pumps in their cottage and she pumped in the water and used her magic to add some cold so it wasn’t too hot and then added some liquid soap that smelled like melons and cucumbers. She tossed in Abby’s favorite rubber duck and mermaid and a floating fish that spit water when squeezed.

“Okay, Rum. The bath’s ready. Going to market. I’ll see you in about two hours.” She grabbed her string bag and left.

“Bye, Mama!” Abby waved from her chair.

“All right, Abby. Now we’re going to have a nice bath and get all that sticky egg out of your hair,” her father told her, and helped her down from her high chair.

He limped after his inquisitive toddler, who raced into the bathing chamber and squealed in delight.

He helped her out of her little nightie and she jumped into the water without any prompting, splashing all over.

“Imp!” the captain chuckled, and went to get a towel to put on the floor so he could kneel on it and start scrubbing her hair.

After he’d scrubbed her clean, he let her play with the toys, and soon discovered one of her favorite games was to squirt people with the fish.

He grabbed another fish and they had a water fight, and Rumple got soaked in the process, but found he didn’t care.

It was summer and humid and he would soon dry out.

All too soon, he heard the clock on the mantle chime the hour and he said, “Time to get out and get dressed, Abby.”

But the child loved her bath and shook her head. “No! Play, Papa! Splish splash!” and she splashed sudsy water all over.

“Ah, c’mon, sprite. You’ve been in there thirty minutes, you’re gonna wrinkle up like a prune,” he coaxed. “Or an old woman!”

Abby shook her head. “Nuh uh!” she grabbed the mermaid and had it dive while she sang some silly song about mermaids jumping.

Gold indulgently let her play for five more minutes, then said, “Okay, now you’re all done. Let’s get out!”

“No! I’s playin’!” the stubborn imp insisted.

“ _Now_ , miss!”

He used his commander’s voice, the one that made even the biggest recruit in the barracks snap to.

Abby ignored him.

At a loss, he tried to recall what he’d done in the past to get the boys out of the tub, though he could recall having a harder time getting them into it than out. Finally, he came up with a brilliant idea.

“Okay . . .you can stay in the tub . . . if you wanna get eaten by the Water Demon. It eats little girls, starting with their toes!” and he skimmed his hand under the water and grabbed her little foot.

Abby screamed. “NO! No eat me!” She pulled her foot free and stood up.

“Good, now c’mere!” he reached for the slippery little imp to help her out.

But Abby decided she needed to get out right away, and scrambled over the side and onto the floor.

He went to grab a towel and said, “Now let me dry—hey! No! Abby, you little imp!”

For the child was running straight for the open door . . .stark naked and dripping wet.

“Abby!” he yelped, and reached for his cane.

No sooner had he got to his feet and started after the escaping child, his foot slipped on a patch of wet tile.

He forgot that he wasn’t able to balance on his left leg any longer and as he tried to catch himself, it crumbled beneath his weight.

With nothing to catch himself, he tumbled to the floor, sitting down hard on his behind amid a puddle of soapy water, his cane clattering and rolling out of reach.

“Ahh, shit!” he swore.

Just as his little imp toddled out the door.

“Abigail! You come back here, young lady!” he bellowed.

But Abby was sure the monster was after her, and paid no heed to her papa, instead running to look for her mama, who had gone outside.

Now Henry had come and put the milk jug inside on the back porch and forgotten to latch the swinging door, and Abby pushed it open and ran outside, dripping soap and naked as a jaybird.

Meanwhile Rumple struggled to get to his feet, but kept slipping on all the water and soap and had to crawl across the room for his cane.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Robin and Bae were having a nice breakfast on their back porch, which faced their parents’ yard, as they lived to the left of them. Bae was reading the Mirror and Robin was eating his pancakes with sausage when Bae heard his twin say, “Bae—streaker at three o’clock!”

“Aww, hells! Is Healer Whale drunk again?” his brother groaned. “Because I swear, we see more of his naked ass than he does his patients!”

“Nope . . .it’s a baby streaker . . .specifically, our little sister,” Robin reported, laughing.

Bae dropped the paper. “Hells, Rob! What are you standing there for?”

He sprinted over to the back door and yanked it open. “Abigail Gold! C’mere, you little imp!” he raced down the stairs and snatched up the child, wrapping her in his shirt, which he’d pulled off.

“Bae-Bae!” she giggled.                    

“Kid, what are you doing out here naked?” he asked.

“Runnin’ from the bad monster,” she replied. “Papa said it eated me!”

By then Robin had joined him. “Was Papa giving you a bath?” he guessed.

She nodded.

“Where’s Mama?” asked Bae suddenly.

“At market.”

“Bae? I think we’d better go check on Papa,” Robin said.

“Okay, and then we need to put clothes on this imp,” Bae said.

They walked over to the Gold house.

“Papa? You okay?” Robin called as they entered.

“Fine . . .I’m in here,” they heard him call.

Robin went inside the bathing chamber.

He saw the floor covered with soapy water . . .and Rumple sitting in the middle of it, soaked, soapsuds in his hair, and looking about as happy as wet cat caught in the rain. “Papa . . .oh, gods . . .what happened?”

“What’s it look like, boy? I’ve fallen and I damn can’t get up!” his father snapped. “You find your sister? Or is she running down the street showing off her assets to the whole community?”

“No, Bae has her.” Robin said. He went and held out his hand. “Here, let me help you up, sir.” He waved a hand and the floor was dried.

Gold took it, and his son helped him up, and then summoned his cane and balanced on it.

Robin started laughing hard. “Papa . . . you look . . . like a drowned cat!”

Rumple scowled. “Sure, it’s funny to you. _You_ weren’t the one on the floor!”

“On the floor?! Rum, what happened?” gasped Belle, coming into the room with a basket on her arm. It was filled with a watermelon.

“Our daughter decided to jump out of the tub and I went to get her and I . . . forgot about my damned leg . . .and I fell,” Rumple admitted sourly.

“We found him on the floor, Mama,” Robin said.

“And this one running hell for leather through the yard,” Bae said, coming into the room with a now dressed Abby.

“Heavens! Rumple, are you hurt?” Belle asked, concerned.

Rumple shook his head. He ran his hand down himself and was dried. “I’m fine, Belle.”

“Are you sure?” she pressed.

“Yes, dearie! I landed on my ass, and only my pride’s bruised,” Gold coughed, flushing.

His sons smirked. “Oh, how the mighty Captain Gold has fallen!” Robin twitted.

“Yeah, you know what they say, Rob. Pride goes before a fall,” Bae teased.

Rumple glared at them.

Belle giggled. “Oh, Rum! She’s done it to me too, but I was able to get her before she ran out the door.”

“You know, Papa, you’re lucky you fell on your ass and not another part of your anatomy,” Robin said with wicked smile. “Then you’d really be limping!”

Bae cracked up. “The limp of shame!”

“Robin Gold!” Belle scolded.

“Ohh . . . you’s in twouble!” Abby declared.

“Watch yourself, boy,” warned Captain Gold. “Otherwise I’m libel to forget you’re too old for me to tan your backside and take you out back.”

“Yeah, watch it, little brother,” Bae grinned. “’Cause we all know how Captain Gold kicks everybody’s ass.”

Abby nodded. “An’ he’s the meanest sonuvabitch in the valley!”

Everyone remained frozen for a moment.

Bae and Robin had to run out of the room before they busted out laughing.

Finally Belle regained her power of speech. “Abigail Serena Gold!”

“You don’t use that word, young miss!” her father scolded, giving her a Look. “Now you’re tasting soap.”

He picked up the naughty child and conjured the taste only of soap in her mouth for barely twenty seconds before banishing it.

“I sorry!” she bawled and buried her head in his shoulder.

“All right, just don’t do it again,” he said, and hugged her, patting her back. He looked at Belle. “Where on earth did she learn that?”

Belle shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s a military barracks, Rum. A lot of the soldiers don’t watch their mouths. And you know how they gossip about you war heroes.”

“Yes, I know.”

She looked at him thoughtfully. “You know . . . we need someone to mind our smartypants here while we conduct our session.”

“Well, our sons aren’t too busy doing anything but having a good laugh in the kitchen,” Rumple pointed out.

“Rob! Bae!” she called to the two scouts.

“Yeah, Mama,” Robin stuck his head around the door frame.

“We need you two to watch your sister while I have a quick session with your papa,” Belle informed him.

“Sure. Hey, sprite, you wanna come and get your picture drawn?” he held out his arms for his sister. “Bae’s gonna draw it.”

“I comin’, Wobin!” she cried, and wriggled out of Rumple’s arms and over to her brother, who picked her up and went into the kitchen, where his artistic twin was sitting at the table with a piece of parchment and a pencil.

 

Once her daughter was occupied, Belle took Rumple into her office workroom, which was a special room she had created where she treated her patients. It was soundproofed with magic, so no one outside it could hear what was discussed within, and shielded with magic from anyone trying to See or interrupt them with any sort of magical device or mind ability. No one could even use magic inside the workroom, save for herself. When a patient came to her to be treated, they signed a contract that agreed to being within this room, and the non use of magic while they were within it. Unlike a binding spell, it didn’t hurt the mage, since it did not bind so much as blanket their powers for the duration of a session.

Mind Healers were trained specifically to treat the magical soldiers of the Forest Brigades, the mundane soldiers had regular therapists to treat them. Inside the room was a table and chairs with a teaset and tea, and a loveseat with comfortable pillows.

Belle began her session with her husband as she did all of her patients, by serving him some kava tea, which was an herbal tea designed to relax and reduce stress. Together they drank the tea, and Belle lowered the shields over her mind so she could assess his emotional state.

She found his emotions were bubbling just below the surface, a cauldron of guilt, regret, and pain. “Rumple,” she crooned. “I need you to relax.”

“I’m trying,” he muttered.

“Come, let’s sit down on the sofa,” she invited.

When he had done so, she began to gently massage his temples. He leaned his head on her shoulder and let her fingers soothe away all the tension.

“Okay, Rumple. Now I’m going to walk through your mind . . . we’re going to go back to the day when the fire occurred . . .so I can see what happened . . . .”

She closed her eyes, and slipped into his mind.

At first he resisted her, a natural defensive mechanism.

But she waited and then he lowered his own shields and let her in. As she entered his memory . . .the world around her vanished as she walked into the hell called Skull Rock . . .

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

_The darkness was like a living thing, it whispered and flowed around him like a shadowy cloak. He could feel it trying to suck the life from him as he crouched on the floor of his cell, like an animal. He pushed it back the only way he could, by thinking about his home . . .the salmon shingled house back in the Enchanted Forest, his beloved Belle working in the yard, trimming the roses that climbed all over the trellis, while their little girl played in the grass with her doll. The sun was shining and the sky an endless blue._

_He shut his eyes and imagined the scene before him, desperate to recall anything except the awful reality that was the stone prison he was incarcerated in. The walls were porous, so he could hear the shush of the waves on the rock, and the whimpers and screams of the children Pan used in his beastly experiments and enchantments to stave off the ravages of time and give him energy and power. Like a psychic vampire, he fed off the fear and terror of his victims, and when needed, could drain them dry with a few touches._

_People all thought every dark mage took hearts and crushed them, but that was only the most obvious of the dark magic spells. There were other ways to kill, to harm, and Pan knew all of them. There was the Withering Touch, the Burning Plague, the Life Drain. And he used all of them upon his chosen victims._

_Rumple could hear the screams of the children in his dreams . . .and see them too, for one of the ways Pan tormented him was to freeze him to a spot in his workroom and make him watch as he hurt them, for he knew well how that tore Captain Gold, the great liberator of children, to shreds. Helpless to save them, or even assuage their suffering . . .Rumple could only watch as their precious lives were ripped away . . .and inside he screamed and sobbed._

_“Surrender to me, Gold,” hissed the Dark One. “And their pain will end, their torment cease. Just surrender.”_

_“I would . . . but I know you’ll not keep your end of the deal. You never did,” Rumple rasped. “And you’ll take my power and grown stronger, and destroy everyone. So no . . . I’ll not surrender . . .black deceiver . . .go prostitute yourself in hell, Pan, and screw demons . . .”_

_But he had wept for the children lost . . .and back in his cell wished only for the nightmare to end . . . one way or another._

_His company was still out there, with Regina’s as well, and he knew if it were possible his sons and friends would try and rescue him, but he was losing hope as each day passed into the next. Time was an endless thing upon Skull Rock, creeping along at a snail’s pace._

_That night as he crouched in his cell, waiting for Pan’s ritual to begin, his left leg a throbbing mass of torn muscles, bruised flesh, and broken bones, he felt more than saw the flash of heat that occurred outside his cell._

_Fire._

_As the heat and light increased, so did the whimpers and cries of the children._

_insidiously into the porous rock and clinging to the walls, causing the children trapped inside to cough and gasp for air._

_Inside his cell, Captain Gold gasped too, the breath rasping in his throat . . . knowing that if he didn’t get free soon he would roast here along with the other captives._

_He could hear the crackling hiss of the flames as they ate their way through the floor and the heat of the fire cloaked everything in a shimmering haze of hellish red mingled with the ever present shadows._

_Just when he was sure he was going to breathe his last upon the stone floor, his cell door was jerked open and he heard a familiar voice crying, “Papa! Let’s get the hell outta this shithole!”_

_“Bae!” he coughed as he recognized his son._

_“You didn’t think Pan could hide you forever on this rock, huh?” Bae said, coming to help him up off the floor. He swore when he realized Rumple could no longer stand on his own. “Gods, Papa, what’d he do to you . . .!”_

_“What he’s always done. Destroyed my happiness . . .” Rumple gritted out. “Need a staff, Bae . . . and then you need to get them out . . . all the children . . . trapped . . . get them out!” he pleaded._

_“Shhh . . . okay, we’ll get them out . . .I promise, but first let’s get you out . . .”_

_He began to help Rumple out of the cell._

_As soon as he was free of the cell’s magic, Rumple felt his powers return in a rush._

_And he used them, Fetching the children from their fiery inferno and depositing them safely outside upon the rocky beach. Some of them he was too late to save . . ._

_He leaned upon the strong arm of his son and they moved down the twisty corridor and then Bae teleported out onto the beach with his father. He conjured a staff for him and splinted the leg magically, he was no Healer but all of Magical Mayhem knew basic field medic spells, enough to keep a companion from dying if not mortally injured, until they were able to get medical attention._

_“Stay here, sir!” Bae told him, now that they were among mixed company again, he would address his father by his rank, as was proper. “I’m going back to get the kids out!”_

_But even as he would have teleported back inside, Regina, the Captain of their sister company, the Red Queens, grabbed his arm. “No, Lieutenant! You can’t! The fire’s too hot . . . you’ll burn to death!”_

_“I can shield!” Bae argued._

_“Not long enough,” she shook her head regretfully._

_“But . . . there are still kids in there, dammit!” Bae yelled, his face smeared with soot._

_“I know . . . but we can do nothing. The rock . . .we never expected it to burn like this . . .I’m sorry . . .”_

_Behind her Rumple swore a blue streak, but he knew she was right._

_He looked around at the twenty-five children he had managed to save . . .all of them coughing and huddled on the ground while Regina’s company and his killed the Shadow Folk that Pan had summoned._

_“Where is he?” Rumple called to Regina. “Pan? Where is he?”_

_“Dead. Your sons broke the hourglass that stored most of his power and he withered away like a shadow in the sunlight.”_

_He smiled grimly. “Good. That’s good.” Then he watched as the flames licked up the sides of the skull shaped rock and hissed, “We need to get off this gods forsaken rock.”_

_“I know.” Regina shook her head._

_“Where’s Jeff?” Rumple asked hoarsely. “He can call up a portal.”_

_“Here, sir,” said his Portal Mage, appearing by his left shoulder._

_“Well, what are you waiting for, a royal invitation?” he snapped. “Do it, corporal!”_

_“Yes, sir,” Jeff said, and threw his hat onto the ground. It was his focus, and it whirled around and created a glowing green portal._

_Regina called to her soldiers to get the children up and moving. “Kids first, then injured, then the rest of us! Move your ass, people!”_

_When Archie would have dragged Rumple through the portal, the captain snapped, “Leave off, Hopper! I stay till the last of my men are through!”_

_“But, sir! You’re a casualty!”_

_“Doesn’t matter. Now you move your ass through that portal before I make **you** a casualty, Lieutenant! Go!”_

_Archie obeyed, knowing better than to refuse. Captain Gold did not tolerate insubordination._

_Finally Jeff was the last one remaining, and Gold leaned on the corporal’s arm and they went through together, since a Portal Maker must always go through last to close the portal._

_They emerged upon Neverland’s main island, on the sandy beach just across from Skull Rock._

_Flames crackled and leaped into the sky, and the soldiers gently herded the children before them into the makeshift huts they had established on the beach. Some were in shock, and those who were injured received medical attention from Regina’s medic, a woman named Aurora._

_Rumple sat upon a log where Jeff had deposited him after coming through the portal. He saw Robin speaking to Tink, the fae who was the company’s Aerial Specialist, and Bae coming back from a trip into the jungle, wiping his mouth._

_Rumple knew he’d gone to vomit, since it was what he always did after coming through a portal. Bae was a portal sensitive, meaning using one made him puke his guts up afterwards._

_Emma, his master sergeant, and a Sun Mage, meaning she could summon sunlight at will, paused and asked Bae if he were all right._

_“Yeah. It’s just my usual problem,” he replied._

_She glanced over her shoulder at their commander. “And how’s the captain?”_

_“As well as can be expected,” Bae answered._

_Rumple sat on the log, his head in his hands. His leg throbbed, but it wasn't that pain that was making him sick to his stomach. It was knowing that the innocent children inside Skull Rock had died when his people had rescued him from Pan. He knew that casualties were expected in any mission, but he felt that something could_ _have been avoided_.

 

_Then they all headed back to the temporary base camp they set up in the jungle. The healers worked on his leg until they couldn’t do anything more, and then Captain Gold went into his makeshift office and brooded. Finally he called in his son, Recon Scout Robin Gold._

_"Rob, what happened over there? How did that fire start?"_

_"It was that hothead, Zelena," he answered. "You remember her? She's always trying to upstage Regina."_

_"Regina's bastard half-sister," Rumple grunted. "They say she only made officer rank because of who she's related to. What'd she do?"_

_"She waited until Regina and the others were out of sight and she and two others set the torches to the place. By the time Regina figured out what was going on we had to move quickly to get everyone out!" Robin said truthfully. "The plan was to go in, get you out, get the kids out, and leave...nothing else."_

_"Sonuvabitch!" Rumple swore. His eyes flashed molten gold. "Bring the Lieutenant to me, Mr. Gold. NOW!"_

_Robin saluted and scurried off to locate her._

_Gold waited in his office, seething. He had known instinctively something had been screwed up, and he'd been right. Situation Normal, All Fucked Up, he thought sarcastically._

_In the barracks, Zelena had been boasting about how it was due to HER efforts that the rescue of Captain Gold had been a success and how deserving she was of a medal._

_The other Red Queens were shaking their heads, waiting for the braggart to tried for her recklessness._

_Thankfully Regina was unaware of her half-sister's boasting or she would have the girl's head on the wall._

_The officer was still smiling when Robin came for her, stating that Captain Gold requested her presence. To be in the same room with the legend himself.....it was the greatest honor she could ever have._

_She was expecting a hero's welcome....but learned quickly it was not what she would get._

_Rumple glared at her ferociously, not caring that half the encampment could see and hear what went on. He wanted to tear this little preening witch a new one, and he was going to do so._

_"Lieutenant Greene, when you were on Skull Rock, repeat to me your mission objectives," he said coldly. Zelena went by her father's last name, even though she was a bastard._

_"To rescue you and any other prisoners inside, sir," she replied._

_"To rescue me and any other prisoners, correct. Now, did by chance those orders include lighting the gods damned place on FIRE?" he growled, his voice the rasping snarl of the beast he'd sometimes been called._

_"No, sir but..."_

_"But nothing! Are you or are you not an officer in the army?" he roared._

_"Yes, sir!"_

_"And doesn't your oath state, I shall obey the orders of my superior officer to the best of my ability, Lieutenant?"_

_"Yes, sir but....the Captain was stalling and there may have been wards set up to prevent any intrusion and...."_

_He had to understand, he just had to! She hadn't anticipated anyone still being trapped when they set the fire._

_She regretted that but hadn't many others survived thanks to her efforts?_

_Rumple made a sharp slashing gesture and snarled, "The actions of your captain are not up for you to criticize, especially not in a hostage situation! How many rescue extractions have you been on? I'll tell you how many. None! Because you're a fresh out of the Academy snot who's only claim to fame is your mother and sister were company commanders! You have no experience whatsoever in that area. You were supposed to follow orders, Lieutenant!"_

_"She was delaying!" Zelena insisted._

_"And she probably had a damn good reason for it!" Gold growled. "Your grandstanding caused a major SNAFU, Greene! You caused innocent children who had already suffered torments of the damned by that fucker Pan to DIE!" His hands clenched as he fought to keep his magic from lashing out. "Children died for nothing! On my watch! Because you wanted to play fucking hero!"_

_"I didn't know..." she stammered._

_"You should have! You're an officer . . .it's your job to know . . . to use your head and think, not react! Instead you did something the lowest recruit knows NOT to do. You took matters into your own hands . . .without clearance from your captain . . .and look what happened! Over twenty kids roasted to death in that inferno. And you know how I feel about that! Saving kids got me this!" He indicated his captain's bars on his leather jacket._

_She bowed her head in shame, his words hitting home. At the time, setting the cavern ablaze sounded like a good idea, now she realized it was the worst mistake she could've made. Twenty dead...._

_And it was her fault...all of it._

_The usually calm and collected young soldier trembled and slumped against the wall._

_"You're going to go before a conduct review board when this is all investigated, Lieutenant. And you'll be lucky if they don't strip you of your rank and dishonorably discharge you . . .after you've served time." Gold declared. "And this time, girl, your name won't save you."_

_Still shaking, she let loose a blood curdling scream._

_She tore at her hair, her clothing and anything else in the vicinity, still screaming._

_Gold walked over to her and shook her hard. "Stop the dramatics, young lady! You screwed up, now you behave like an officer and deal with it. Enough of this childish behavior!"_

_She broke free from his grasp and ran around the room screaming, knocking things over._

_"Lieutenant! You're behaving like a two-year-old!" he snapped. "Knock it the hell off before I treat you like one!"_

_"Not my fault...not my fault...she stalled!" the woman screamed in a childlike voice._

_"SHE ALWAYS GETS ME IN TROUBLE! I HATE HER!"_

_"Lieutenant, enough!" he pulled her head up and stared into her eyes. "Stop acting like a child! No one got you in trouble but yourself."_

_Rumple wasn't sure if the girl needed a session with a Mind Healer or a trip over his knee._

_"They all say I'm a bastard but I'll show them...I'll show them all I can be better than her.." she was laughing."I'll get Captain Gold out and I'll get all the glory while she gets nothing!"_

_Crazy bitch! Rumple thought. He summoned Archie through his mental link, which was something he had with all his company while in the field._

_Archie hurried into the room, saluting. "Sir?"_

_"Lieutenant Hopper, I need you to evaluate Lieutenant Greene's mental state and tell me whether I need to give orders to have her placed under immediate care of a Mind Healer. She seems to be having a regression episode."_

_"I'll get started right away. Lieutenant Greene...?"_

_He kneeled in front of the young woman and took her hands in his. Her mental shields were weak, allowing him to see clearly._

_He frowned. "I would strongly recommend it Sir, but make certain it is a strong one. She's trying to block me...."_

_Rumple scowled. "Very well." He grabbed a form off his desk and scribbled on it. Then he touched Zelena on the back of the neck and muttered, "Sleep, Lieutenant."_

_She crumpled to the floor, snoring loudly. "Hopper, call up some orderlies and get her transferred to your area immediately."_

_"Yes, Sir." Archie shook his head."A disgrace...that one."_

_"Yes. I'll inform Captain Mills about this myself." Gold said._

_"I will get to the bottom of this, Sir," the young Healer vowed._

_"You're a good soldier, Hopper. Don't let her snowjob you," Rumple said._

_He had his suspicions that the young woman was feigning madness to avoid her punishment for her actions, her mental shields hadn't completely blocked him._

_"I won't, sir. She is a clever one, but not skilled enough to fool a Healer."_

_Rumple nodded. "And if, in fact, she was shamming, and it's revealed she faked insanity to avoid her court martial, I'll boot her ass out of the army myself!"_

_"That would be wise, Sir. Her previous actions are a cause for great concern."_

_"Irresponsible little twit!"_

_"So many lives lost..."_

_The orderlies arrived and carted Zelena away. But though the witch was gone, the taint of her actions still hung in the air . . . and Captain Gold felt the guilt settle on him like a mountain._

_"I know, Hopper. I'll need to write condolence letters to their families . . .if we can figure out who they were."_

_"Sir....you are not blame for this tragedy..."_

_He gestured and the mess Zelena created in his office was straightened. If only the guilt would be so easily conquered. He looked sadly at his Lieutenant. "Hopper, she may have set the fire, but it was done because of me. Therefore the responsibility for it is mine."_

_He wished he could offer some assistance to the captain but it was made clear that the captain would allow no one else but his wife inside his mind._

_"I know you have given orders that you will only allow your wife to work with you...but if you change your mind my door is open."_

_Gold's mouth quirked. "Thanks for the offer, Lieutenant. Now get, you probably have appointments to keep. The old beast will be fine. Remember, I can kill twenty ogres, a platoon of trolls, and kick a dragon's ass all before breakfast."_

_He was repeating a common tale told around the barracks to new recruits._

_The healer chuckled. "And twice on Sundays....thank you Sir. I'll be going now."_

_"Dismissed."_

_The Healer saluted him a final time and left the room._

_Then Captain Gold was left alone . . .to brood and weep over the tragedy that had occurred, trying to shoulder responsibility for the deaths of innocents that should have never happened._

Belle brought them out of the memory trance in three heartbeats.

 

Rumple blinked and said hoarsely, "So now you know what went on that night. And how it's my fault those kids died."

 

"Rumple...you were a prisoner. The fault lies with Zelena. She started the fire and her sister should've had a firmer grip on her."

 

"But it was because of me it was done . . .to rescue me," he said, his eyes filling with tears. "Gods, they should have left me to die . . .and just gotten the kids out . . . Pan was dead, the mission was a success . . ."

 

"And leave our child without a father? Me without my husband?" she asked sadly. "Lives still would have been lost regardless. Robin said it wouldn't have mattered. The fire was too far beyond control that even if they had left you there, those children would have died."

 

"I still feel responsible, Belle. I made my career, my reputation, on the fewest civilian casualties on record. I'm the damned hero of the Ogre Wars! Captain Gold, children's savior! I saved all the children in that camp . . .and yet . . .in one damned hour . . .she made me a murderer . . ."

 

"Rumple, she is the murderer. You were in captivity....there was nothing you could've done to prevent it. If anyone should feel as equally responsible along with Zelena, it is Regina. If she suspected one of her officers was unstable, she should have recommended she be removed from active duty."

 

From what information she'd gathered, Regina did have those suspicions but whether she made a request for Zelena's removal was something she was determined to find out.

 

"Perhaps she should have. But Belle . . .when I was first brought there . . .Pan kept me for awhile with some of the kids he'd taken . . .Lost Boys, he called them . . .and I promised one of them . . .this little dark haired imp that reminded me of Bae and Robin . . .his name was Troy . . .I promised I get him home . . . that my people would free them . . .and she made me break my word, Belle . . .the only thing I could send home to his mother . . . was a condolence letter . . .because he died . . ."

 

He began to cry then, burying his face in his hands.

 

And it was this child's face she now knew that haunted her husband's dreams at night.

 

She gathered him into her arms and held him tightly, not ready to give up. She would fight for him, for their love until the bitter end.

 

The battle in Neverland was over, but the war on the homefront would not be over for a long time.

 

 

 

**4**

**A Pleasurable Interlude**

 

After dredging up those awful memories, Belle decided enough was enough for that morning and halted the sessions. Rumple insisted they keep going, but Belle refused. “Who’s the Healer here, Captain, me or you?”

 

“You are, dearie,” he acknowledged.

 

“Then trust me to know when it’s time to stop,” she said, kissing him lightly. She poured him another cup of kava and they just sat there on the sofa, not saying anything, just reveling in the fact that they were together again at last.

 

She leaned her head on Rumple’s shoulder and let him card her hair, something he loved to do and that relaxed him.

 

Rumple sipped his tea and tried to just revel in the moment, and not think about the events on Neverland right then. His past still haunted him, and he knew it wouldn’t be conquered in one day, and there were still condolence letters for him to write to grieving families, even though he knew the Council archivists usually took care of that, he felt he owed it to the families of those dead children to write his own regrets, with more of a personal tone to them then the standard— _The General Staff of the Forest Brigade Magical Forces regrets to inform you that . . ._

 

He also wanted to contact Archie again and ask him what his evaluation was on Lieutenant Greene, but right then he just wanted to hold his wife on the couch and doze with her in his arms. _I’ll sleep in your embrace at last._ And he did, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes.

 

Until a crash from the kitchen and Bae’s voice chiding Robin for not watching Abby woke both Rumple and Belle from their peaceful slumber.

 

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

About three days later, because Belle thought they needed to get out of the house and do something fun, she arranged a family picnic along with Regina, which happened to coincide with the local summer fair that was always held at that time of year. Troops of acrobats and mimes and jugglers, as well as illusionists from all over the Enchanted Forest and animal trainers and soothsayers and local people selling their produce and handmade items came and set up shop on the parade ground.

 

Belle spread a thick checked blanket of purple and blue squares out on the grass just up the hill from the fair and anchored it to the ground with a quick spell. She had brought pillows for Rumple to rest his leg on, since it was aching this morning, and all manner of food and drinks were set out by her and Regina. The family sprawled on the grass, munching on crispy fried chicken legs, creamy potato salad, pickles, ham sandwiches, wedges of sharp yellow cheese, carrot and cucumber salad, and Regina’s famous apple turnovers and Rumple’s little iced ginger cakes. There was honey mead and berry wine for the adults and apple cider and cold sweet tea for the children, which were only Henry and Abby. Emma and Marian came over to join their suitors on the picnic blanket, and soon Robin and Marian and Bae and Emma rose and went off to talk a walk through the fair, joking and laughing about kissing their love at the kissing booth and winning a prize for the best kiss.

 

Henry begged Regina for a few silvers to go and play some games down at the fairgrounds, hoping he could win a prize at the ring toss or the coin toss, and scampered away, leaving Daniel, Regina, Belle, Captain Gold, and Abby still on the blanket.

 

Gold, his bad leg propped upon pillows from the living room sofa, looked over at Regina, who was reaching for a piece of chicken, and asked, “Have you heard anything from Archie yet about your sister?”

 

Regina, who was wearing a red dress with her company’s patch sewn on to the left sleeve, an apple with a golden crown around it, paused with the chicken halfway to her mouth and said, “You mean he didn’t tell you yet, Rumple? They found after a day or two that she was faking being crazy to avoid her court martial and were going to ship her off to the stockade when she pulled a runner. Deserted, just like that.” The commander of the Red Queens shook her head. “I couldn’t believe it, but there you are. I sent trackers after her but I doubt if we’ll find her this side of the forest. I’m sorry, Rumple. She’s a disgrace to my family name and to my company. I’ve had her name stricken from the rolls and declared dishonorably discharged.”

 

“I’m sorry too,” he said sincerely, for to be associated with one such as that was shameful for the family. Regina didn’t deserve that, but because of her sister’s actions, now she had a blot on her family reputation.

 

“She was no good,” Daniel declared hotly. He was in the cavalry, different branch, but the same Magical Forces, and he had never liked Zelena from day one. “Always had a snide comment and she tried more than once to cozy up to me,” the dark haired officer sneered. “My own sister-in-law . . . pawing me like some tart in a tavern!”

 

Regina stared at him, nearly dropping her chicken. “Dan, you never told me that!”

 

“Didn’t want to bring it up,” her husband sighed. “Cause I knew you’d kill her over it. But now . .. “ he shrugged.

 

“You’re right. I would’ve,” Regina agreed. She went to bite into her chicken leg again and an odd expression crossed her face.

“Love, are you all right?” Dan asked, when his wife suddenly dropped the chicken leg on her napkin and bolted for the small copse of trees nearby.

 

Frowning, Belle followed. “Regina? Are you okay?”

 

The sounds of retching followed, then Regina emerged from the tree, pale and wiping her face with another napkin. “I . . .don’t know. All of a sudden I smelled the chicken and I really wanted to eat it and then . . .I felt like I was gonna puke and . . .”

 

“You don’t think it was something you ate?” Belle probed.

 

She shook her head.

 

“Would you like me to heal you? Maybe you have some kind of stomach flu?”

 

Regina nodded. She had never been very good at healing magics, barely able to fix scrapes on Henry.

 

Belle went and took the other mage’s hand, letting her Healing power flow through her, and asses the problem.

 

Meanwhile, Abby crawled out of her papa’s lap after he’d wiped her face of crumbs and frosting from her ginger cake, and proceeded to dance around in a circle, singing in her childish sweet treble, “Ring around a rosy, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall . . . DOWN!” Then she threw herself onto the grass, landing on her bottom, her little rose colored ruffled spring dress billowing about her. She giggled and wriggled her bare feet, as she had taken off her shoes again, her honey brown curls bouncing about her face.

 

Daniel smiled at her. “She’s gonna be a heartbreaker, Rumple. You’re gonna have to beat all the boys off her with sticks when she’s old enough to date.”

 

“Nah. I’ll lock her in a tower,” Rumple joked. “Or just turn all the boys into snips, snails, and puppy dog tails,” he chuckled, referring to the old nursery rhyme about what little boys were made of.

 

Daniel laughed too. “I’d be the same if I had a baby girl.” He glanced toward the trees. “I wonder what’s wrong with Gina? I hope it’s nothing serious.”

 

“Belle will know,” Rumple replied calmly. Besides being a certified Mind Healer, Belle was also able to diagnose and treat many physical ailments, though she didn’t have a technical degree in that branch of magical medicine.

He grunted slightly as Abby threw herself onto his stomach. “Hey, snippet! You want to make me throw up?”

 

Abby bounced on him, smiling her sunny grin. “Papa, play ring round the rosie!”

 

Gold winced, wishing he could. Before his torture, he could have happily played with her. “Precious, I can’t. Remember, Papa hurt his leg?”

 

Abby patted the injured leg. Then she bent and kissed it. “All better now?”

 

“I wish, dearie,” her father said regretfully. But her heartfelt gesture touched him and he cuddled her to him. “But thank you for trying.”

 

He kissed her cheek. “Why don’t you sit here with me and take a little nap?” he suggested, knowing it was close to that time and if she didn’t rest, she would be unbearably cranky.

 

Abby squirmed. “Nooo! Wanna play!” Her foot poked him in a rather sensitive place.

 

Gold bit back a swear word. “Abigail Gold!” he snapped. “Quit squirming like a hooked fish!” He moved her over so she couldn’t kick him there again.

 

She wriggled again, not wanting to obey him. “Papa . . .” she whimpered.

 

“Hush, snippet,” he ordered in his firm quiet tone. He gently put her head down on his shoulder, he was wearing a toned down version of his uniform, with his Magical Mayhem signature patch on his right sleeve—a gold spinning wheel with two crossed purple daggers in front of it. All the mage companies had their own company crests, invented by their founders and no two were alike. Rumple’s company had been the Dark Ones before Pan left and he took it over, changing the name to Magical Mayhem and adding the spinning wheel to the crest, since that’s what he was also known for, spinning straw into gold.

 

He began to pat his daughter’s back, rubbing his hand up and down it. Familiar with this procedure, his child settled, sucking her thumb as he moved his hand, down her back to her bottom, wearing the spelled ruffled panties Belle had put on her this morning in case she had an accident before she reached the potty. He patted her little behind soothingly, murmuring in his lilting voice, “Sleep now, my lass, sleep and sweet dreams.”

 

Daniel took a pull on his flask of mead and thought again how he wished to have another child, a girl this time with Regina’s gamin grin and spunky attitude and his ability to ride horses.

 

Near the copse of trees, Belle withdrew her hand from Regina’s and said brightly, “Well, Captain Mills, I can tell you you’re not sick . . . at least not from any kind of infection.”

 

“Then what’s wrong with me? I love your chicken, Belle.”

 

“What’s wrong with you will be cured in eight month’s time,” Belle grinned.

 

Regina’s jaw dropped open. “You mean I’m . . .”

 

“Yes. Captain Mills, you’re expecting!” Belle announced, then she hugged her friend.

 

“I’m going to have a baby again!” Regina cried, feeling tears mist her eyes. She had tried so hard after Henry to have another, but her career and Daniel’s often kept them apart for months at a time, and then for some reason she had always had difficulties in that area . . . “I can’t wait to tell Daniel! We were talking just the other night about having another now that I was on a long hiatus . . .”

 

As they started walking back towards their husbands, Captain Gold put a now sleeping Abby down next to him on another blanket and pillowed her little head in his lap. As he carded his daughter’s hair, he saw Belle and Regina coming towards him.

 

“Everything all right, dearie?” he called to his fellow commander. He had been Regina’s mentor during her stint in boot camp, and he still felt somewhat protective of her, even though he knew she was perfectly capable of kicking ass and taking names now.

 

“Everything’s wonderful, Rum!” Regina cried, beaming.

 

Her husband eyed her askance. “It is? Though you were puking.”

 

“I was. That’s why it’s wonderful.”

 

“Huh? Did I miss something?” Daniel looked at her cluelessly.

 

“You did, Dan. Because we’re going to have a baby,” Regina announced.

 

Daniel whooped and took her in his arms and spun her around.

 

And the commander of the Red Queens kissed him, laughing like a giddy schoolgirl again.

 

“Congratulations,” Gold called, smiling. “Maybe now you’ll get your wish.”

 

“What wish?” asked his wife, conjuring another blanket to put over their daughter.

 

“Dan was saying how much he wanted a little imp like Abby,” Rumple replied.

 

“They’ll see in eight months,” Belle laughed, and she sat down next to them.

 

Rumple reached out a hand to her.

 

As her fingers closed over it, two children, a boy and a girl, around seven or eight, came running over to them. They were dressed in makeshift “uniforms” and carried wooden swords and a staff in their hands. The boy had a small leather book in his hand, and his companion had one also.

 

“Captain Gold! Captain Gold!”

 

“Hello, dearies. What can I do for you?”

 

The boy, who had flyaway blond hair, skidded to a halt before Gold’s bad leg, and cried, “Umm . . . could you sign my spell primer, sir? Please?”

 

“Me too, Captain Gold!” said the girl. “I’m his sister.”

 

Gold was amused. He had forgotten that children still looked up to him as the hero of the Ogre Wars . . .and he took the pen the boy held out to him and his blue spell primer, which was what all young mages wrote their newly learned spells in. “Certainly, lad. What’s your name?”

 

“I’m Hansel. And this is my sister, Gretel,” the boy told him, watching in awe as Rumple wrote in his graceful script. He handed the book back to the child, and took Gretel’s and autographed it as well. “There you go, children! You want to get Captain Mills’ too?”

 

“Sure!” Gretel said admiring the signature and Gold’s little sketch of the dagger and wheel below his name. She dragged Hansel over to Regina.

 

“See? You’re still loved, Captain,” Belle reminded him. “Still their hero.”

 

“Only because they don’t know any better,” Gold muttered, his mouth twisting into a frown.

 

“Ah, Rumple,” his wife sighed. “When will you let the guilt go?”

 

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, for the deaths of all those boys weighed upon his soul like a mountain of iron, crushing him beneath its dark embrace.

 

He put an arm around his Belle again, thanking all the fates that at least she was there to come home to, unlike Milah, his first wife, who had gone into early labor with the twins and died before he could return home in time. It was why he had insisted on taking leave when Belle was near her time carrying Abby, because he didn’t want to be away again and leave another wife to bring their child into the world alone. And he hadn’t, and he’d been there beside her to catch his new baby and tie the cord and give her the first kiss of welcome, which was a father’s way of acknowledging the child as his own besides giving him or her his name.

 

He put his head on top of Belle’s, resting it lightly on her chestnut tresses, and relaxing in the warm sunshine, at peace for now, as the butterflies and bluebottles buzzed in the meadow and celebrations drifted up from the fairgrounds on the mild summer breeze. But despite the lovely day and his friend’s good news, the shadows of Neverland hovered in his mind, looming like specters, waiting to grab him and tear apart his fragile happiness, as Pan had torn apart his leg, among other things.

 

 

 

**5**

**A Promise Broken**

 

The twins returned to the picnic blanket an hour later, playfully arguing over who had the better kiss at the kissing booth. “It was me, and you know it, Bae,” Robin said with a roguish grin. “My kiss made yours look like you were still starting and didn’t know how to finish!”

 

“Like hell!” Bae rolled his eyes. “When I was done kissing Emma everybody was passing out from lack of air!”

“And the only reason why that occurred, Baelfire, was because _I_ wasn’t there kissing your mama,” Rumple drawled. “Because if I was, you’d have been left eating my dust, boy.”

 

“Or ours,” Daniel said, grinning.

 

“Think so? I beg to differ,” Robin waggled his eyebrows at the cavalry officer.

 

“Oh, I know so. Since Regina chose to marry me and that was how I convinced her,” the other chuckled. “Speaking of which, we have some good news to share.”

 

“Let’s hear it, Dan. We could use some,” Bae said. “All kidding aside, there’s been talk over at the festival grounds about how Zelena deserted and she’s still out there somewhere . . .maybe plotting something.”

 

“That may be true, but we’ll find her,” Regina declared. “Sister or no, she can’t run forever, and she’s going to be brought back to face up to her crimes.”

 

“So what’s the good news?” Bae queried.

 

“Regina and I are going to be parents again.” Daniel said.

 

Robin and Bae smiled and clapped him on the back. “Congratulations! That’s great! What are you hoping for this time?” asked Robin.

 

“I’m hoping for a girl. Not that I don’t love my son, or that I wouldn’t love another son just as much, but . . .” Regina slid her glance over to Abby, who still slept with her thumb in her mouth on Rumple’s lap. “I would like a girl.”

 

“Me too,” Daniel admitted. “A little girl with her mama’s beauty and sass and my way with horses.”

 

“You’ll probably have her in the saddle before she can walk,” Belle predicted.

 

Daniel nodded. “Best way to learn how to ride—start ‘em early. It’s what I did with Henry.”

 

“Speaking of Henry, did you two happen to see him there?” asked Regina. She couldn’t wait to tell him the good news and see his face light up. He’d been wanting another sibling for quite some time now.

 

“Uh no, but then we weren’t by the games and stuff,” Bae said.

 

“You want me to go find him?” Robin asked.

 

“No . . .he’ll come back when he’s ready,” Regina said.

 

As if her words had summoned him, Henry appeared, walking with a large stuffed lamb in one hand and carrying telescope in the other. “Mom! Dad! Guess what? I won the ring toss and got this neat telescope! And then I played the dart game and won this cute lamb for Abby.”

 

Regina smiled at him. “Henry, that’s wonderful,” she said to the eight-year-old. “And I have something to tell you too. You’re going to be a big brother soon.”

 

Henry’s eyes widened. “Really? You’re gonna have a baby?” He peered at his mother, who looked unchanged, in her toned down uniform.

 

Regina nodded. “Yes, what do you think of that?”

 

“It’s better than getting a horse!” the boy declared shrilly. Then he added, “Uh . . .but I still want one.”

 

“You know what you have to do to earn one, son,” Daniel reminded him.

 

“I know,” his son said. “But it’ll take forever!”

 

“But the best things are worth it,” Rumple interjected. “You might want to keep that lamb, Henry, for your baby brother or sister.”

 

But Henry shook his head. “No, I won it for Abby.” He set the lamb down beside Gold. “I can always win the new baby something else.” He grinned at the captain. “Uh . . .but I kinda need some more money, Dad.”

 

“What do I look like, a bank?” teased Daniel. Then he pulled out his purse and handed his son some coins. “There. Go back and win something else of you want to.”

 

“I will!” he gave Daniel the telescope. “I’m gonna tell Mike and Hansel about Mom’s baby and then I’m gonna win the doll I saw at the ball toss. Thanks!” he waved to his parents and friends before rushing down the hill to the fair grounds again.

 

The Golds stayed to see some fireworks lit off by the dwarves of the Engineering Company, but after that Abby started to grow cranky and they decided to head home and give the child a bath and a light supper and put her to bed.

 

Normally an agreeable child, Abby was overtired from all the excitement and goings on at the fair grounds, and at first cried when they left, wanting to see all the pretty lights again, then whining she was hungry. But when Belle gave her a cookie from the picnic basket, Abby threw it on the ground and sobbed, “Nooo! Wanna griddle cake!”

 

Griddle cakes were fried dough twisted into fancy circles and sprinkled with powdered sugar and honey. They were something only made at the festivals and Abby had shared one with Belle before leaving.

 

“Sorry, we don’t have any more. When we get home, I’ll make you some porridge, how about that?” Belle suggested briskly.

 

But Abby was determined to sulk, and shook her head, her lower lip stuck out. “Noo! No pawidge!” Then she sat down in the middle of the road and started bawling.

 

Rumple halted, turning around to see what was the matter. He frowned when he saw what was going on. “Abigail Gold, quit having a tantrum!” His leg was throbbing and Abby’s shenanigans were making it worse.

 

“Wanna griddle cake!” his moppet shrieked loud enough to be heard in the next kingdom.

 

Rumple fought to keep from covering his ears.

 

“Abigail, stop screaming!” Belle ordered crossly. “Now get up and let’s go home.”

 

Abby burst into noisy howls.

 

“Abigail Electra Gold!” Rumple snapped, out of patience with his obstreperous daughter. “Shall I count to three?”

 

Abby continued bawling.

 

“ONE!

 

Abby suddenly started whining. “No! No count!”

“Then get up off your backside, young lady and quit throwing a fit!”

 

Rumple tapped his cane pointedly.

 

“Papa . . .I wanna—“ she began pathetically.

 

Captain Gold shook a finger at her. “Never mind what you want, little miss! _I_ want to get home and if you make me pick you up, _you’re_ getting a swat and facing a wall when we get there!”

 

Abby shook her head rapidly. “Noo! No spanking!”

 

“Then get up,” he said exasperatedly. When she didn’t make an attempt at doing so he said, “TWO!”

 

Belle shook her head. She loved their daughter, but there were times Abby could test the patience of a saint, and Rumple was reaching his limit. “Better listen to Papa, little girl,” she warned. “Or else!”

 

After that bit of input, Abby got up, still crying softly. She ran over to Belle. “Mama, I hungwy!”

 

“I know, and you’re also cranky,” her mother agreed. Then she took her daughter’s hand. “Come on, let’s go home.”

 

Once they got home, Belle told Rumple to rest his leg while she went and made some porridge for dinner and washed Abby’s face.

 

Perversely, now that he could rest, Rumple no longer felt like he should, and muttered, “I’ll rest enough when they nail shut my coffin!”

 

“Stubborn!” Belle remarked sharply. “Like your daughter.”

 

“Determined,” he corrected, then went and took the damp cloth from her and said, “C’mere, sprite!”

 

Abby approached him warily. “Papa mad?”

 

“No. I was mad before because you weren’t listening. And having a fit. Are you doing that now?”

 

“No. I good!”

 

“Yes, so why would I be mad?”

“I dunno,” she said.

 

“C’mere and let me wash your face, pudding head!”

 

Abby bounded into his arms.

 

Rumple washed her face with the cloth, saying, “Scrub-a-dub-dub, Abby’s clean as a whistle . . .now it’s time for some tickles!” Then he tickled her behind her neck and along her ribs, making her shout with laughter.

 

Belle smiled at their antics while she stirred the porridge with a long handled spoon. She hoped that by playing and spending time with Abby, Rumple would be able to battle the depression and sorrow she sensed still lurking within him, and recall again the way he had been before—the gentle husband and father, who commanded power that could tear apart cities but spoke in a whisper and whose greatest claim to fame had been saving the lives of a thousand children during a vicious war.

 

Abby shrieked with mirth and then tried to tickle Rumple back, running her little hands all over his face and neck. “Tickle! Tickle!”

 

“Ahh! No! Not that!” Gold pretended to be frightened, hiding his face. “No tickling!”

 

“Tickle . .. tickle!” Abby’s slender little hands tickled his ribs, making him giggle.

 

Then he quit hiding and picked her up in the air and said, “Gotcha, gabby Abby!”

 

“Fly, Papa! More fly!”

 

Rumple obligingly “flew” her in the air for a few moments before lowering her back down and kissing her on the forehead. “Okay, sprite. It’s time for supper.”

 

They all ate Belle’s tasty porridge with nuts, honey, dried fruit and cinnamon.

 

Then Belle gave Abby a bath and afterwards helped Rumple put her to bed. After two lullabies and a story, the toddler drifted off to sleep.

 

“I think I ought to take a bath too,” Captain Gold mused. “Soak my leg.”

 

“I’ll draw it for you, darling.” Belle offered.

 

He gave her a merry wink. “Will you join me in it, dearie? The tub’s big enough for two.”

 

“Rumple! You wicked man!” Belle laughed, and gave him a saucy smirk in return. “Do I look like a wanton to you?”

 

“Why no, dearie. You look like my wife, who’s sore been missing her husband’s attention these past months. And I mean to make up for it!” Then he drew her to him and kissed her.

 

She melted in his embrace, loving the way he made her feel . . .like a goddess . . .special and cherished . . .and she wanted him to feel the same way . . .so she surrendered gracefully to her eager husband and followed him down the hall to the bathing room, with its huge sunken tub set over a hot spring. She drew him a bath and then frolicked in the water with him, washing his back and then letting him wash her hair, though soon the playful entreaties grew much more heated . . .and she discovered the water did not hamper her enjoyment of him or he of her one iota.

 

Afterwards they lolled in each other’s arms, while he soaked and cradled her head against him. “I love you, Belle.”

 

“I love you too. So much.”

 

“When I was on Skull Rock . . .and I dreamed of escape . . .I dreamed of you . . .you were my flicker of light in an ocean of darkness,” he murmured into her ear.

 

“And your dream came true. You came home to me.”

 

“But I’m not the same man who went away. I’m . . . broken,” he admitted, ashamed.

 

“No. You’re chipped . . .and I can mend you,” she soothed, running her hands over his face, tracing the slender cheekbones and nose. “And even then . . .don’t you know the best teacups are chipped, my soldier? So you bear scars. They’re badges of honor . . .dearly bought and I do not love you less for them. I love you more, Captain Gold.”

 

“Would you love me if you knew I’d broken a promise, dearie?” he asked, his brown eyes pensive and filled with endless regret.

 

“What promise, Rumple?” she asked.

 

He looked away. “Forget it. I’ll tell you later.”

 

Sensing he would close up if she pressed him, she let it go for now.

 

He finished soaking and then they took turns drying each other off and he massaged her neck and she returned the favor with his leg.

 

Then they got into their night clothes and went to bed . . .but Rumple found he couldn’t sleep, despite the relaxing bath and massage and their lovemaking earlier. He tossed and turned, restless, and irritated at himself for not being able to let go of the past and just rest.

 

He closed his eyes and tried to meditate but he kept seeing the boy’s face in his mind.

 

 

He had promised to get the boy home to see his parents again.

 

And he had broken that promise.

 

For Troy had died in that ill fated fire . . .and he was haunted by the small face, so trusting, so full of hope.

 

_“Captain Gold, I’m scared.”_

_“It’s going to be okay, lad,” he’d whispered to the boy in the dark of the cavern, as they huddled together on the cold rock floor._

_“But we’re Pan’s prisoners. And I . . .I heard he does awful things . .. “ Troy sniffled._

_Rumple went and hugged him. “Not to you, laddie. I promise. Now let’s play a game, shall we?” he suggested, anything to keep their minds off where they were and what could happen to them._

_“What kinda game?”_

_“A game of wishes. You tell me one thing you really wish for and I’ll tell you one in return.”_

_“All right . . .umm . . . I wish I could go home to my family.”_

_Rumple smiled, a poignant smile of tenderness and sorrow. “And that’s my wish too.”_

_“Think it’ll come true? I don’t wanna die here, Captain Gold.”_

_“Shhh . .. “ Rumple’s heart broke and he carded the boy’s hair like he’d done his own sons. “You won’t. I’m going to make you a promise, Troy. I’m going to bring you home.”_

_“How? Will your company come for you?”_

_“Yes, and then I’ll be able to keep my word and take you home.” Rumple promised._

_“And you always keep your promises,” Troy said, then he leaned against Rumple’s knees, a forlorn waif in patched breeches and a worn shirt, his brown hair hanging in his eyes, which were a deep lush green, like the jungle that surrounded them._

_Rumple nodded. And he would keep this one as well._

Except he hadn’t. And now he never could.

 

“Rumple, what’s wrong?” Belle called.

 

“Nothing, Just thinking.”

 

She turned and peered at him. “Not very lovely thoughts. I can feel it.”

 

He heaved a sigh. “Go to sleep, Healer Gold.”

 

“Rumple,” she touched his arm lightly. “Don’t shut me out.”

 

“I’m not. I just . . . don’t want to talk about it now.”

 

He turned over, yawning. “Good night.”

 

“Good night, Rumple.” She reached out a hand and stroked his hair. Whatever was bothering him, she would make sure she got it out of him in tomorrow’s session.

 

Rumple waited until he felt his wife’s steady breathing beside him before he rose and went to his apothecary chest. He uncorked a vial of a potion that would make one get a good night’s sleep and drank it.

Then he cursed himself for a coward for relying on a potion . . .and when he closed his eyes again . . .he saw Troy’s face in his mind, staring at him accusingly, and then he heard the boy’s voice, _You broke your deal, Captain Gold. Now I can never rest in peace._

Then sleep dragged him under . . .and for once he slept the night through, and didn’t wake Belle up yelling or thrashing about in his sleep.

**6**

**Haunted**

 

 

“But Rumple, don’t you see?” queried Belle at their session the next morning, where he admitted that he had been having flashbacks about the young boy whom he had failed to save, who had died because of his own soldiers’ incompetence. “ _You_ didn’t break your deal with Troy. You weren’t to blame for the fire Zelena started trying to rescue you. She did that on her own . . .and you almost died too. If Bae hadn’t found you in time . . .”

 

“I promised to bring him home, Belle,” Gold protested, his face drawn into a grimace of pain. “And I broke my deal. He’s dead and all I can do for him now is attend his memorial service and offer my condolences to his parents. I should have been able to bring home their son!”

 

She put a hand on his cheek, knowing he needed her touch, so she could link with him and share his grief and sorrow. “Rumple . . .you _can_ bring Troy home, you know.”

 

“How? How can I do that? He’s back there in that accursed jungle!” Rumple hissed.

 

“His remains might be there, but Rumple, a part of him did come home with you. You were the last one to see him alive, to talk to him. You can tell his parents that, you can give them closure. You can bring him home and let him rest, Rumple, where he belongs, with his family.” Her cerulean eyes sparkled with tears. “You can give them something nobody else can, Rumple.”

He stared at his wife, and his finger came up to trace the tears on her cheeks, and he knew his face mirrored her own. “I . . .I never thought about it like that before. All I thought . . . was that I’d failed.”

 

“You didn’t fail, Captain Gold. Did you know what would happen with the rescue attempt?”

 

“No. I was trapped in that cell. All I could do . . . was try and endure what Pan did to me . . . and sometimes . . .I asked him to . . .hurt me instead of one of them. I was . . . the soldier . . .I was the adult . . . even when he tortured me . . .I didn’t mind as long as he left the boys alone . . .only sometimes he didn’t . . .sadistic bastard . . .and he’d make me watch . . .”

 

He started shivering violently.

 

Belle wrapped her arms around him and held him close. “It’s okay, sweetheart . . .he can’t hurt you or anyone again . . .”

 

She absorbed some of his anguish and pain, and some of the dreadful memories, taking them from him and placing them in a box in her mind. Then she stroked his hair, while tears flowed down both their cheeks, as they wept for those that had been lost, innocents sacrificed upon the altar of greed and ambition and power, at the whim of a crazed dark sorcerer.

 

She ended the session by sending him healing images . . .of himself and Abby, of himself and his sons, and of herself and him, reaffirming the love she felt for him and trying as best as she could to restore his shattered self-confidence by showing him that she still believed in him.

 

Rumple let the images wash over him . . .and he felt the power of her conviction and it filled him with hope . . .yet he felt it was not enough to banish the legion of ghosts that haunted him.

 

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

The memorial service for the Lost Boys who had died in the ill-fated fire was held that same afternoon, on the parade ground where the recruits from the mage companies usually went to drill. The ten companies were there, including the cadets from the Academy, and all their family members who wished to attend, which meant a few hundred people crowded the grounds, since those who had died were their own—children of the mage companies, and all except the very youngest and eldest unable to rise from their beds were there to honor their precious fallen children.

 

Captain Gold was there in his leather uniform, wearing his gold captain’s bars on his lapels and his ribbons and decorations from the Ogre Wars, his hair slicked down and looking spit and polished. He held Abby in his arm while leaning on his gold cane.

 

The auburn-haired cherub muttered, “Papa sad?”

 

“Yes, because all these little boys died, sprite,” he sighed. She was dressed in a lovely golden colored dress and tiny matching shoes, her curls caught back in a rose barrette.

 

Abby frowned, uncertain. “That mean they in the Blessed Realms?”

 

“Yes, with the good spirits,” Rumple agreed.

 

She put her thumb in her mouth, then said around it, “They sad cause they miss the little boys?”

 

“Yes, just like I would be if I lost you, little minx.”

 

“Wouldja cry forever?”

 

“Forever and ever,” he assured her, breathing in her sweet scent to combat the dreadful image of his baby girl’s grave that had popped up in his mind.

 

The barracks cleric stepped up and gave a moving eulogy for all the boys and those of the Reconnaissance drew their bows and lit their arrows tips with magical fire then shot them into the air in remembrance.

 

“Ooo! Pretty!” Abby squealed and clapped her hands.

 

Belle smiled at her daughter. The arrows’ flight signified the way a soul flew to the Blessed Realms to dwell with the god spirits and the gods of Light.

 

Bae lowered his bow to parade rest along with Robin and they waited respectfully until the bugler was done playing the Evening Serenade, singing the boys to their final rest.

 

After the memorial service, some of the families of the boys invited friends and relatives back to their houses for refreshments and to talk. One of those was the March family, Troy’s parents and their daughters. They had four little daughters, but Troy had been their only son. Troy’s mother was Louisa and her husband Edward, their daughters were Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy, ranging from ten to five years old. Troy had been twelve.

Captain Gold limped over to the Marches, who were wearing black dresses and Edward had on a black armband on his uniform sleeve, he was a retired member of the Intelligence Corp. “Master Sergeant March, Mrs. March and your lovely daughters, might I offer my sincerest regrets on your loss.”

 

“Captain Gold!” Edward stiffened to immediate attention.

 

Rumple waved at him. “At ease, sergeant. I’ve come to offer my condolences, not inspect you.”

 

“Sorry, sir. Habit, you know.” Edward coughed.

 

“Captain Gold, what a pleasure to meet you,” said Louisa softly. “Girls, what do say?”

 

“How do you do, Captain?” the four girls chorused and curtseyed to him.

 

“Very well, thank you, ladies,” Rumple said politely to them, and he smiled at them.

 

“Would you like to come back to our house for some lemonade and cookies, Captain Gold?” Louisa invited.

 

“I would be happy to, thank you, Mrs. March.”

 

“Please, call me Louisa,” the tall brown-haired woman said softly.

 

Rumple followed them right down the street to their house, which was very like most of the housing for non-com officers, though some balls and a hoop and a colored jump rope were lying on the lawn.

 

Belle watched as her husband left, holding onto Abby’s hand lest she run after him. She knew Rumple needed to talk to the family alone, so she led Abby back towards her brothers, saying, “Papa’s gone visiting, dear, so let’s go and play with Robin and Bae.”

 

“Kay, Mama!” the little imp chuckled and she pulled Belle over to her big brothers, shrilling, “Wobin! Bae-bae! I comin’!”

 

Rumple entered the March residence and Edward led him to the table where Louisa had set out a pitcher of lemonade and several kinds of cookies including shortbreads and peanut butter ones.

 

“Please, help yourself,” murmured Louisa to their guest.

“Marmee and me made the peanut butter ones,” Meg told Rumple. “I like them the best.”

 

“So do I,” Gold said, his eyes twinkling despite the somber moment.

 

Then he turned to find the darker haired sister at his elbow. “Yes, little lady?”

 

“I’m Jo and I want to ask you something.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“Were you really the last one to talk to Troy before he went to heaven?”

 

Gold felt his heart cringe at the innocent question. Then he recalled what Belle had said to him and replied, “Yes, I was. Would you like me to tell you what he said to me?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jo said.

 

Behind her he could feel the entire family freeze, and then focus on him.

 

“Troy was with me on Skull Rock. In the great cavern. Pan had us brought there along with some of the other boys.”

 

“Couldn’t you use your magic to get out?” asked Amy.

 

“No, dearie. Because Pan had put a cuff on me to take my magic away,” Rumple answered, and he rolled up his sleeve to show her the scar where the cuff had burned him. “Troy came and sat beside me, this was before Pan took us to different cells on the rock, and he asked me just one thing—he asked me if I could bring him home, because he missed his family . . .and I said I would . . .”

 

Louisa buried her face in her apron and wept. Beth cried into a little blue handkerchief and so did Meg and Amy. Only Jo remained stoic, staring up at Rumple. “Did . . . he say anything else?”

 

“Yes. He told me about his sisters, and how you could make him crazy sometimes. He mentioned someone hiding his shoes once . . . and painting a green mustache on him while he slept. . . “

 

“That was me,” Jo replied. “Cause he cut my hair with Marmee’s shears.”

 

“And I told him some stories about my own boys . . . Bae and Robin, the scamps . . .and so we kept the dark at bay there in that place . . . until Pan came to take us away . . .understand if I had been able to walk . . to get out of my cell . . .I would have kept my word . . .I would have brought him back to you . . .” He felt the old guilt crawl out of the hole in the back of his mind and pounce, digging its claws deep into his psyche.

 

“Sir, you were a prisoner too . . .Pan smashed your leg,” began Edward, pointing to Rumple’s maimed leg.

 

“You needed help too,” Jo pointed out. “Cause you almost died . . .”

 

“My son was a brave little boy,” Louisa said softly. “And he died like a soldier, Captain Gold. I’m just glad . . . you were there before he . . . so he had someone to talk to and comfort him . . .”

 

“You made him happy,” Beth spoke up then, peering shyly at him. “Troy always said he wanted to meet you, Captain Gold. You were his hero. And his wish came true.”

 

“He was a fine lad,” Rumple said hoarsely, his eyes glinting with unshed tears.

 

Jo handed him a red handkerchief. “Here. You can use mine. I cried all over it yesterday, but I didn’t blow my nose or nothing.”

 

“Josephine!” cried Meg, scandalized.

 

“What? It’s true!”

 

Rumple felt his heartstrings tugged on again, and he said, “Thank you, lass,” and wiped his eyes.

 

Louisa put a hand on his arm. “No. Thank _you_ , Captain Gold. For coming here and sharing those precious last moments with us. So, you see, Captain, in a way you’ve kept your promise . . .and brought my son home to me.”

 

Jo nodded. “Troy was right. He always said you were a hero.” She pointed to Rumple’s leg. “And only heroes have wounds of war. Does it hurt? Your leg?”

 

“Jo! Why are you asking the captain so many questions?” Meg asked, blushing.

 

“How else am I supposed to learn anything?” she replied bluntly.

 

Her older sister scowled. “You gonna write a book or something?”

 

“Maybe I will. So there!”

 

“Girls!” Edward said quietly, giving them a Look. “Sorry, Captain Gold, but Jo’s a little too curious for her own good. Jo, don’t pester Captain Gold with your questions.”

 

“It’s all right. I don’t mind,” Rumple said. He turned back to the budding author and said, “If you’re going to write a book, then you have to get all the facts, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And to answer your question, sometimes my leg does hurt, especially when it rains . . .” he replied honestly, and he spent an hour drinking lemon and eating cookies, while the March family sat around him listening to his stories, the pain in his heart easing a little, and he hoped in theirs as well.

 

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

When Rumple arrived home, Belle was relieved to see his step was much lighter and some of the lines of stress and worry were gone from his face. “I take it your visit went well with the Marches?” she asked, as she crimped a top crust on her beef pot pie for their evening meal.

 

“It went better than I expected,” he said, then went over to kiss Abby, who was next to Belle making her own “pie” in a tiny tin with some leftover pie crust. “Hey, sprite! What are you doing?”

 

“Papa! I’m making a pie!” she cried, her face all covered with flour.

 

“How lovely, dearie! I can’t wait to eat it,” he chuckled. Then he tweaked her nose and cried, “Oh no! I’ve got your nose!”

 

“No . . .Papa! Gimme it back!” she cried, nearly upsetting her tin trying to grab his hand.

 

He held his hand above her head and said, “What’ll you give me for it?”

 

“Uh . . .I’ll give ya . . .ten hugs n’ kisses!”

 

“Only ten? Is that all your nose is worth?” he teased.

 

“Twenty.”

 

“Twenty-five,” he answered.

 

“Thirty!” she screamed.

 

“Deal, babydoll!” he laughed, and then he pretended to give her back her nose.

 

Giggling, Abby proceeded to cover his face with kisses and hug him to death.

 

Belle beamed as she watched her husband and her daughter playing, and heard Rumple laughing again, the way he used to before the mission that had nearly destroyed him, and she began to hope that with time and patience and the love of his family, Rumple might eventually return to the man he had once been, his ghosts banished for good.

 

She simply had to be patient and support him.

 

Later on that night, after they had tucked Abby into bed and Belle had read to her and Rumple sang her to sleep, they sat before the crackling fire in the grate in their easy chairs, with Rumple resting his foot up on footstool and idly twirling some straw in his hands and having it become gold at his touch, while Belle read a novel to him in her low soft voice.

 

Belle finished the chapter and said, “Healer Jerrol stopped by today and said he’d like you to see him tomorrow, Rum. He says he might have a new pain potion for you to try.”

 

Rumple snorted. “Humph! The damned things made me all fuzzy. I hate that.”

 

“I know, but you don’t have to take it all the time. Just when it’s really bothering you.”

 

“I’ll see about it,” he said, shrugging, which was his standard answer when he didn’t want to say yes or no on something.

 

“Now, don’t be stubborn, Rumplestiltskin,” Belle scolded gently. “You don’t need to play the stoic warrior mage with me.”

 

“I’m not. I just don’t like going about in a fog just so my leg doesn’t hurt so much,” he argued.

 

“Rumple! All I’m saying is you should just go and get a bottle of it from him, just in case. Since it won’t respond to anymore healing spells . . .” Belle suggested. The Healers had said that Gold’s leg had been healed to maximum usability and no other spells would work upon it thereafter.

 

“Oh very well! Since you’ll haunt me until I do,” he sighed. “Happy now?”

 

“Don’t be a grouch, Rumple. You know I’m always happy when you’re not in pain,” she retorted, then she sent him a wave of love through their bond.

 

He felt the love flow through him, warming the cold spaces in his soul and he smiled. “I love you, Belle.”

 

“And I love you, Rumple.”

 

He reached out his hand and she clasped it in hers. And he was once again reminded that this was what he had endured the torments of hell for on Skull Rock. This—the chance to come home again to his beloved wife and child.

 

He just wished all of his guilt and trauma would leave him be.

 

That night, after making slow satisfying love to Belle in their cozy bed with the quilt he had woven for her as a wedding gift, Gold drifted into sleep, thinking surely no nightmares would plague him. But he was wrong.

 

Suddenly he went from dreaming about romping through the grass chasing Belle and Abby amid a cloud of purple emperor butterflies, unhampered by his injured leg to being trapped again in the hellish prison on Skull Rock.

 

_Pan leered at him as he lay pinned down by magical restraints to a stone table. “So, laddie . . .we meet again. Did I not tell ye resistance is futile?”_

_“You can go to hell in a handbasket!” Gold spat. “On a gilded cart!”_

_Pan tisked at him. “Such disrespect, Captain. I’m your commanding officer.”_

_“You WERE my commanding office.” Rumple corrected. “Until you betrayed your oaths of loyalty to this kingdom ad your liege and fell under the spell of the dagger, Malcolm. After that you ceased to be my commander . . .or anyone I needed to show respect to. Now you’re a rogue necromancer who kills CHILDREN! And for that you need to be taken down . . .permanently!”_

_Pan giggled. “But not by you, Rumple Wumple! For you are now a guest of Skull Rock . . .and as a guest, I feel obligated to show you a good time . . .”_

_Rumple spat in his face._

_Pan wiped the spittle from his cheek. “You’re going to regret that, Gold . . .”_

_Then he conjured a lead pipe and began to beat his helpless captive, crushing the bones in his ankle and knee . . ._

Gold’s frenzied writhing and yelling woke Belle from a sound sleep.

 

She nearly sat bolt upright, then she turned to her husband and called, “Rumple, it’s a nightmare! Rumple, wake up! It’s a dream!”

 

She knew better than to shake him awake, for that could trigger his fight response . . . as a mage she knew about the hair trigger battle-ready status the war mages were trained to wake in . . .but she involuntarily went to brush his hair out of his eyes, a simple loving gesture done inadvertently . . .

 

Rumple’s eyes snapped open, clouded with pain, as his mind was not fully registering where he was or who was with him.

 

He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and snarled, “Don’t _touch_ me, Pan! Get your filthy hands away from me!”

 

And his hand lashed out towards his old enemy. . .

 

. . .and connected in glancing blow across Belle’s face.

 

 

 

 

 

**7**

**A Light In the Storm**

**A/N: chapter title refers to Thomas Kincade’s painting of the same name suggestion by CJ Moliere, who also helped me write this chapter.**

 

Never in the time they'd been married had her husband ever struck her. Belle was shocked for a second or two until she realized what was happening. Even a slight touch while a soldier slept could invoke the battle response. What was meant to be a simple loving gesture turned out to be a horrible mistake.

 

"I'm sorry, Rumple....I didn't think..." she muttered.

 

But he would see this as his fault...she knew that deep in her heart. He abhorred violence against women and children and when cases of it arose in their ranks, he was one of the first to demand justice for the victim.

 

_He wasn't trying to hurt me on purpose...it was an accident!_

 

Making him understand that was going to be the difficult part. He would see it as a clear sign he was a danger to her and their child. He was trying to hide those fears from her but the connection between them was so deep that there was nowhere within his mind he could hide it from her.

 

Rumple blinked and suddenly wakened from the nightmare he had been trapped in. Pan was gone . . .and all that he saw was Belle. . .with the mark of his hand across her cheek.

 

He felt himself shrivel in revulsion. _What have I done? I HIT my wife!_ His brilliant beautiful loving wife and he had hurt her like a beast . . .like his father had done to his mother once when he was small . . he could barely remember her but he remembered that . . and the accompanying horror that had filled him. And now he had done the same thing to Belle.

 

He stared at his hand as if it were something foreign, like a parasite. "Belle . . .I . . .I'm sorry . . . " he stammered, shame and guilt churning in him like a maelstrom.

 

"It's all right, Rumple...I should've known better than to try to touch you while you're sleeping..."

 

But he wasn't just sleeping; he was having a terrifying nightmare of being in Pan's prison again.

 

He shut his eyes. "Don't . . .don't make excuses for me, Belle. I HURT you . . .and no man should ever hurt a woman . . ." He shook his head. "What have I become? A monster, that's what!" He inched away from her.

 

"No...don't you do this to me, Rumple...don't you shut me out!"

 

The rational part of his mind whispered that he had been on the edge of his control when he'd awakened from his nightmare . . .and on hair trigger every mage soldier knew he had the potential to become a deadly animal. Only his iron self-control had kept him from lashing out with his magic instead of his hand, but what he had done with that was bad enough.

 

He slammed up his mind shields, preventing his wife from feeling what he felt.

 

"You did not INTEND to hurt me it was an ACCIDENT...and you put those shields down!"

 

"I'm dangerous . . .to you . . .to Abby . . ." he shook his head. "I ought to be locked away like the crazy bastard I am . . ."

"NO! You are not crazy! I do not want to hear that again nor are you dangerous to me or our daughter. I am not locking you away so you can get that thought out of your mind right now."

 

She reached for him.

 

"No! Don't touch me!" he ordered frantically. He didn't want to hurt her again and he was afraid he would in the agitated upset state he was in. "I can't trust myself . . .YOU can't trust me . . . " he gestured at the handprint. "Look what I did . . .what sort of man does that? A monster! Like my bloody father!"

 

He wanted to hold her so much but he was terrified of hurting her. You don't deserve her, Rumple. You never did.

 

"You're not like your father! Rumple, please, this was an ACCIDENT!" she insisted.

 

Unfortunately, the history of violence in his family made it difficult for him to understand this. She never met his father, thank the gods, nor did she want to. She had, however seen him in their sessions and the cruelty he showed to his wife and son was without boundaries.

 

But an accident could turn into a habit, he thought bitterly, and he would not risk his wife and daughter. _There is a beast that lives in me_ , he thought hopelessly, _and now it has come out . . .and who knows if I can cage it again? In order to make them safe . . .I have to leave . . .go somewhere else . . ._ In a split second her made a quick decision and reached for his cane.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

 

"Leaving. I can't stay here. I'm dangerous. I can't risk hurting you or Abby. I CAN'T!" his voice was hoarse with pain, and his eyes reflected the inner turmoil within, twin pools of darkness. It was tearing his heart out to even say those words, much less get up and start throwing his clothes into his rucksack, but he ruthlessly clamped down upon those emotions and began to pack, the motions second nature after so many years of going on missions.

 

"Rumple....you can't go....I won't let you!" She jumped up and ran over to him, attempting to take the rucksack away from him. "You didn't mean to hurt me....you've GOT to believe that! We'll work this out...together...."

 

"Let me go, Belle! Why would you want me to stay? I'm not the man you married anymore! I'm a crippled wreck, a shadow of what I was."

 

"I want you to stay because I LOVE YOU…all of you and the man I married is still there....he's just hurting right now....and you CANNOT FACE THIS ALONE. Don't you remember our vows?"

 

He shut his eyes. Of course he did. They were engraved upon his heart and his mind. Yet the words stuck in his throat. And all that he could think of was how he had failed--failed to resist Pan, failed to bring those Lost Boys home, and failed to be a good husband. _Coward, Rumplestiltskin! You're a coward just like your father for hitting a woman!_ And all he wanted to do was dig a hole and fall into it never to come out.

 

"No!" Belle cried, his thoughts projecting to her though he did his best to block them. "No...not that...I won't let you go to that dark place, Rumple..."

 

His mind suddenly jumped and sent him back in time . . .back to the wreckage of his childhood, trapped between two parents whose marriage was falling apart and his mercurial vicious father had tried to beat all the tears out of him. _Boys don't cry, Rumple! They don't cry or else they're nothing but spineless whimpering cowards . . .fit only to be ground into the dirt and eat shit! Do you wanna be like that? DO YOU!?_

 

He flinched and heard himself trying to swallow back the tears as his father's belt whipped him and all the while he thought _I don't wanna be like YOU, Papa! Never like you!_

 

Yet what was he now?

 

He shuddered and repeated what he had been conditioned to say during those nightmare days of his childhood by his sadistic father. "I'm a coward and no one . . . _no one_ can ever love me . . .!"

 

It had taken Belle years after she had met him to break down his walls and let her in, to encourage him to talk about that time, for he had repressed it even from himself, to get him to at last allow himself to grieve for his dead mother and the little lost boy he had been. And that had been before she had married him, refusing to allow his ghosts to haunt him in their marriage bed.

 

He had thought those demons laid to rest long ago, but his time at Pan's merciless hands had brought them out again, creeping from behind his walls like shadows to torture him.

 

 _Isn't it funny that such things from so long ago still have the power to make you cry?_ sneered Pan's voice as he had conjured up an illusion of the boy Rumple had been, playing with a small cornhusk doll his mother had made for him . . .and how his father had caught him and beaten him over it and thrown the doll into the fire.

 

"Rumple...come back to me...." she pleaded, reaching out again feeling him creating a chasm between them that it would take all the love and strength she had to create a bridge to reach him on.

 

She'd seen it before...a soldier fall into the darkness and not want to return, leaving behind devastated loved ones feeling they hadn't done enough to save them. She would not be among them. She would be his lifeline...if he believed in them...in the strength of their love.

 

"Don't let them drag you down into their darkness...fight it…fight it for yourself...for me...for Abby!"

 

He heard her voice calling to him . . .she was the flicker of light in the ocean of darkness that surrounded him . . .and he must . . .he would not let Pan win . . would not let his father win . . .

 

 _Belle . . .help me . . . help me come home_. . .he called soundlessly to her.

 

And his walls crumbled like sand struck by a wave as he allowed her in to help him fight the demons that attacked him and threatened to destroy his fragile sanity.

 

_See my light in the darkness...let it guide you home to me....to us..._

 

She sent him the image of a beacon burning bright in a storm.

 

He was a ship lost at sea but her light would shine through and bring him safely into the harbor

 

The light pierced the shadows and he felt it beckon to him.

 

His demons were the rocks that threatened to tear him to pieces but she would steer him clear of them.

 

Slowly he groped after it, following it.

 

_Don't give up on me, Rumple. ..._

 

Like a will-o-wisp it danced and flickered and he raced after it, while the demons both past and present bayed after him like rabid hounds seeking to bring him down and tear him to pieces.

 

_Strategic retreat, Captain Gold._

 

Then something unexpected happened.

 

A new presence made itself felt in his mind.

 

_Go way, bad evil doggies! You not hurt my Papa! Go way! NOW!_

 

And a burst of pure white light surrounded Rumple and drove the demon hounds back.

 

_That's it Abby my star.....SHINE!_

_Help me, my star...help me bring Papa home..._

 

She smiled through her tears. Their child, their precious child was a strong healer herself, strong enough to feel her parents’ distress and be their anchor even at such a young age.

 

The child wrapped her "arms" around her father and drew him back towards Belle. _Papa come home . .. come home with me . . ._

_Hold tight to him now sweetheart...almost there...._

 

Though untrained and untaught, the little girl had excellent instincts and she did not let her father go.

 

Dream Rumple clung tightly to Abby's hand and together they followed Belle's flickering unwavering light out of the darkness.

 

She took him into her arms and let her own light surround him. "You're home now my darling...you're home...."

 

He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. "I was lost . . lost in the dark . . ."

 

A pair of arms wound about his waist. "Papa, s'not dark . . .lookit! It's morning time!"

 

Abby scrambled onto the bed and leaned over and kissed his cheek. "A sunshine kiss!"

"You are our sunshine, sweetheart..." Belle murmured.

 

Their daughter did not fear him....she did not fear him....and they loved him....proving his father wrong, he thought hazily.

 

She would not let him lock himself away. They would fight the demons together and send them running screaming to the Underworld.

 

Abby stared at the rucksack lying on the floor. "Papa go 'way?" she cried in alarm. He had just gotten home and she didn't want him to leave so soon. "Stay! Stay here!" she didn't know what to call what she had just done with her papa in that other world--the dark world he had been trapped in, but she did know one thing, she did _not_ want him to go away.

 

Shestarted to cry.

 

Rumple hugged her. "It's okay, sprite. I'm not going away. Not . . .not for a long time."

 

THIS was why he had to stay, he thought.

 

For his heart was here, his family was here.

Belle hoped that this crisis was averted for now. She went to heal her cheek and her husband caught her hand.

 

“Please, allow me,” he murmured, and he touched the cheek he had slapped and the mark and the bruise developing slowly beneath it were healed in a trice.

 

“All better!” Abby crowed, and nearly knocked her parents over trying tp hug them both.

 

“Whoa, sprite!” Belle chuckled. “Why don’t we get some breakfast?”

 

Abby nodded eagerly, her small head with its light brown hair bouncing on her shoulders. “I hungry, Mama!”

 

“Okay, sprite! Let’s go into the kitchen and make you something to eat.” Belle said, and picked up Abby.

 

But the little girl wriggled free of her hold and cried, “No! Want Papa to hold me!”

 

Rumple grabbed her before she could fall and said, “Abigail, dearie, d’you want to fall and crack your head like Jack when he fell down the hill?”

 

“Noo! I want you to hold me!” she said, and immediately snuggled into him. She had missed her papa dreadfully when he was away, and for the first few weeks her first question when she woke up every morning was “Is Papa home now?”

 

Rumple held her on one hip while he walked with his cane, wishing that he wasn’t disabled now so he could romp with the little girl like he used to.

 

‘What would you like for breakfast, sprite?” he asked her, though he was almost certain what she would say. Abby preferred two things for breakfast over everything else and he waited to see how she would respond.

 

“Uh . . I want . . . . a happy face for breakfast!” she announced.

 

_Just as I thought._

 

The happy face breakfast was an invention developed by him and Belle to get a rather fussy child to eat food without driving everyone crazy. When Abby was somewhat younger, she was very picky and refused to eat much. Concerned, Belle and Rumple had come up with the idea that if they made the food look interesting, the baby would be more likely to eat it.

 

The happy face breakfast was a great hit, as well as being nutritious for the child.

 

It could be made in several ways.

 

“Which happy face would you like?” Rumple asked. “Mr. Sunny or Miss Strawberry?”

 

“Sunny!” she yodeled.

 

“Okay, Mr. Sunny it is,” Belle said and went to get the items she needed from the cold box and take out the frying pan.

 

Mr. Sunny was the egg happy face and Miss Strawberry was a fruit one with curds and whey, cinnamon, and granola cereal.

 

“No, Mama! Papa make it today!” Abby cried, since Belle usually made it every other time.

 

“Are you sure, sprite?” teased Rumple. “Can you help me? I might have forgotten how.”

 

“Nuh uh,” Abby shook her head. “You ‘member, Papa. First you make the toast,” she instructed.

 

Rumple got out the loaf of bread Belle had baked and sliced it. Then he put it on a long fork and held it over the stove flame until it was golden brown.

 

Then he spread it with some butter and put it in a plate.

 

“Okay, what comes next?”

 

“He needs a mouth, Papa!”

 

So Rumple took some bacon and fried it. He used two strips to make a mouth on the toast.

 

“Now what?”

 

“The eggy eyes!”

 

Now Rumple took two eggs and cracked them into his skillet with the hot fat. He cooked them just enough to set and then put them on the toast. Then he added some shredded cheese for hair and a grape nose and there was Mr. Sunny the happy face.

 

“Yay!” Abby clapped her hands.

 

Belle tied a large linen napkin around her daughter’s neck and helped her sit in her special chair which Corporal Geppetto in Engineering had made for her which hooked onto the table so she could sit up high like a big girl. Then she got the little girl a cup of fresh goat’s milk and put it before her.

 

Just as Rumple put the plate with Mr. Sunny before her, their door was knocked on once and then it opened to admit the twins. “Hey, Papa, you got anything to eat?” called Robin.

 

“You forget how to cook, Robin?” Rumple called back, his eyes lighting.

 

“Yeah and he burnt the porridge and dropped the last of our eggs on the floor when he tripped over Peaceful,” Bae told him gleefully. Peaceful was their old sheepdog, a black and white collie who was growing old and like to lie in front of the stove of a morning.

 

“Silly damn dog! I almost broke my neck!” Robin muttered, chagrined.

 

“Hey, mind your mouth!” Belle scolded. “Little pitchers,” she jerked her head at Abby who squealed. “Ooh youze in twouble now, Wobin!” Then she screeched, “Bae-bae! I eatin’ Mr. Sunny!”

 

“I see that, little minx! Did you save some for me?”

 

“Ummm . . .” she gave him a slightly guilty look with egg all over her face.

 

“Oh sit down and I’ll get you some breakfast!” Rumple waved at his sons. “I can’t have you two starving and passing out now can I?”

 

Robin and Bae laughed and sat down at the table. “Papa, I want my eggs over easy.” Robin called.

 

“Not me,” Bae made a face. “I like mine scrambled.”

 

Rumple rolled his eyes. “Do you think I’ve forgotten my own son’s preferences since I came out of that rat hole?”

 

“Well, no, but . . .it’s been awhile since you’ve cooked us breakfast,” Bae began.

 

“Humph! So what? My mind’s not going yet, boy!” Then he cracked another two eggs into a bowl and began beating them with a fork.

 

Belle made a pot of coffee and toast and soon the hearty smells of a good breakfast filled the cottage and Rumple sat down with a fond smile at his boys, his baby girl, and his wife and thought perhaps there was still hope for him to beat the demons that resided in him.

 

 

**8**

**A Walk To Remember**

After breakfast was over, Bae and Robin helped Belle wash up the dishes, while Rumple took Abby to get changed. He was feeling rather antsy and caged in, a hold over from his captivity on Skull Rock, and he thought it might do him good to get out of the house and walk a bit. Even though he was now lame, the Healers had told him that exercise was good for his leg and also his spirits. He was inclined to think they were right.

 

Rumple opened Abby’s little cherrywood armoire, a gift to her when she was an infant from Geppetto. It had carved roses on it and little spinning wheels. He pulled out a little green and yellow tunic and a soft cream shirt to go under it, and a pair of butter soft leather breeches. “Here, sprite. Let’s put these on. It’s a little windy today.”

 

He could tell more about the weather now because his lame leg ached sharply in the cold, wet, and damp.

“Leather pants!” Abby clapped her hands when she saw her favorite set of pants. “Like you, Papa!”

 

Rumple smiled down at the little cherub, with her rosy cheeks and bright eyes. “Yes, like my uniform, dearie,” he agreed.

 

Abby giggled. She pointed to her papa. “You’re a big dearie.” Then she pointed to herself. “An’ I’m a little dearie!”

 

Her simple declaration warmed Captain Gold’s heart. It seemed he was still his little girl’s hero, despite all he had been and done. “Aye, you’re my little dearie,” he chuckled, then he went to remove her egg-stained shirt and help her dress.

 

There were times that he wished he had died upon that volcanic rock, instead of subjecting his family to the wreck he had become, instead of having to wake each day and face the fact that he had survived when so many children hadn’t. He knew he was a coward for even letting that thought cross his mind. But times like now, when he gazed upon his child, so happy and bright and alive, that he was glad he was here to share these precious moments.

 

He tweaked Abby’s nose and laughed when she hugged him. It felt good to be hugged, and to know that the child in his arms was not going to be hurt or killed as the others he’d held upon Skull Rock had been. Those he had not been able to save, and their loss cut him deeply, scarring his psyche with a thousand red hot cuts of regret and sorrow.

 

He wrapped his arms around his daughter then and held her tightly, burying his face in her hair, which smelled of strawberries and cream. He breathed in her scent, trying to combat the sudden flare of memory.

 

_No. I don’t want to go back there . .. to that place of misery and death . . .I just want to stay home . . ._

 

Abby squirmed in his grasp. “Papa! You is ‘quishing me!”

 

He continued to hold her for a moment more, letting the feel of her and the sweet scent of her drive away the demons that snapped at his heels.

 

“Papa!” Abby cried again.

 

Rumple came back to himself abruptly. “Sorry . . .I’m sorry . . .” he apologized, releasing his daughter. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you?”

Abby looked at him, her budding empathic powers telling her that her papa was sad. “Papa, don’t be sad!” She came and hugged him again, unknowingly projecting a wave of warmth and love at him.

 

Humbled by his child’s innocent love, Captain Gold said nothing more and just held her to him. _My little dearie. My saving grace._

 

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Belle was glad that Rumple wanted to get some exercise, she had worried about him these last few days. She knew he was depressed and melancholy and thought it might improve his spirits to get some fresh air and exercise. Bae and Robin also wanted to accompany them, and so after Rumple had come back with Abby, the family set out for a short walk through the woods beside the military barracks.

 

Robin and Bae both considered Belle their mother, having never known their real one, as she had died soon after giving birth to them. They walked companionably on either side of her, their long legs eating up the ground. Both were dressed in lesser versions of their standard uniform, green tunics, and light brown trousers with shaded green and muddy yellow patches so they could blend easily with the shadows the forest engendered.

 

Slightly to the right of them was Rumple, limping along stoically with his cane, while Abby scampered ahead of them, pointing at the swallowtail butterfly and the squirrel, and the falcon winging its way back to its home, her light brown hair straggling loose from the pony tail Rumple had put it in.

 

The day was cool, a crisp summer day, though the sun on the leaves made them squint as they walked.

 

The trees in this part of the forest weren’t the huge stately oaks and beeches, but the more colorful maples, ash, and rowan, all of which were known for their protective qualities. This large grove of ash and rowan had been chosen deliberately by the Forest Brigade as their barracks town, because they liked using the natural protection such trees offered them. In addition to them, there were also laurel bushes planted about the town, which were known to be proof against undead and other unsavory evil creatures.

 

As they walked down the cleared dirt road, Bae said, “Maybe I ought to take Emma on a walk, huh, Mama? We’ve hardly spent any time together since getting back, because I’ve been working with the new Recon recruits and she’s been training the ones in basic.” They had seen each other for a brief two hours at the festival and then work had kept them too busy to socialize.

 

“That might be a good idea,” Belle said. She was proud of both of the twins, who could have been anything they wished, especially Bae who was a brilliant artist, but had chosen to follow in their father’s footsteps as a war mage.

 

Robin glanced at his twin. “Uh, you know . . .I kind of was supposed to meet Marian here. I sent her a dove, and I’m surprised she isn’t here already.”

 

Marian was usually very punctual, most military mages were.

 

“Maybe her archery class ran late,” Bae said. Marian taught archery to the new recruits in the Queens, just as Robin did for Magical Mayhem.

 

“Could be,” Robin agreed.

 

Rumple was enjoying the fresh air on his face and watching his daughter running slightly ahead of him, all excited about being in the woods. He used to take Bae and Robin on walks like this when they were little, the boys had loved finding rocks and interesting insects and leaves and spotting wild animals.

 

Abby was just as curious, and indeed had stopped to see a painted turtle as it walked slowly across the path. “Ooh! Pretty!”

 

The painted turtle, upon realizing something BIG was about to touch it, immediately withdrew its head and feet into its shell, which was brightly colored with green, yellow, purple, blue, and red splotches, and its side spikes, a deterrent against being eaten, emerged from its shell.

 

“Abby, careful, dearie!”Rumple warned. “Don’t touch!”

 

Too late. The energetic toddler reached out and tried to pick up the pretty turtle . . .and the spikes cut her little hands.

 

“Owww!” she screamed and dropped the turtle.

 

Rumple limped over to her and said, “Let me see, sprite.”

 

“Rumple, what happened?” Belle cried, turning around.

 

Abby was crying, her hands pierced by the turtle’s spikes and dripping blood.

“It’s okay, Belle. She picked up a painter turtle when it was in defense mode and it pricked her,” Rumple told her. “Papa will heal you, babydoll.” He knelt to take his daughter’s hand in his own to heal it.

 

He started to use his magic to do so when some blood leaked onto his hand, and it triggered a nasty flashback.

 

_Suddenly he was back on Skull Rock, after one of Pan’s horrid “experiments” with the dark magic, and he was holding onto a little boy who was covered with puncture wounds from boring beetles . . .so named because they bored through anything in their way . . .and Pan had set a dozen of them on the helpless boy . . .and encouraged him to use his magic to prevent them from hurting him . . but the child hadn’t been able to stop them and Pan had grown angry and allowed the beetles to attack the boy._

_Rumple had been forced to watch as the beetles bored through the child’s tender flesh . . .and the screams still echoed in his ears . . ._

_Now he held the little boy as he cried and bled all over him, dying from the beetles’ torture and the acid they secreted as they bored._

_“I’m s-so . . .c-cold . . .C-Captain Gold . . .” the child, whose name was Max, whimpered, clutching him with his hand, smearing blood on Gold’s shirt._

_“Shh, lad . . . you’ll be warm soon . . .” he murmured, biting back a sob, because he knew the boy was going into shock and dying. “Just hold onto me, okay?”_

_“ . . . m’cold . . .n’ I want my mama . . .” Max shivered._

_“I know . . .” Rumple held the boy tighter, watching as the boy’s eyes fixed on him, seeing them go glassy with shock._

_“Captain Gold . . can you tell me a story . . . my mama always did . .. when I was . . .scared . . .”_

_Gold squeezed his eyes shut. Gods . . .oh gods . . .I can’t . .. no, I have to be strong . . .make his last moments peaceful . . ._

_“Tell me a story, Daddy!” mocked Pan from the entryway._

_Rumple jerked his head up. “Shut up, Pan!” he spat._

_The other sneered at him, flushed with the Power and life energy he’d taken while the boy was being tortured. “Go on then, Gold. Do what you do best . . . save the kid! Oh, I forgot! You can’t . . .because you’re a useless coward!”_

_Then Pan spun on his heel and left, knowing his words had cut the other man like a whip._

_Rumple bowed his head. Then he gathered himself and began. “Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Max. One day he was bored . . .and ran through his house and made mischief of one kind and another . . .and his mama cried, “You’re a wild thing!” and sent him to his room . . .”_

_The captain continued in his soft voice, spinning a yarn of a boy who traveled to a magical island filled with wild creatures and became their king . . until he felt the child in his arms breathe his last . .. and he looked down and saw the small face still in his arms, eyes fixed upon a sight not of this world, and the blood smeared on his hands where Max had clutched him . . ._

Rumple came back to himself with a start.

 

He stared down at Abby’s little hand, which was barely bleeding any longer as his magic had healed it.

 

“Papa? Fix the other!” she wept, holding up her other hand.

 

_Blood . .. so much blood on my hands . . ._

In that instant, guilt slammed into him, guilt that overwhelmed and swamped him.

 

He shook his head rapidly. “No! No more blood on my hands!”

 

He sprang up and began half-running and staggering towards the trees, trying desperately to outrun his demons.

 

“Rumple!” Belle called as she raced over to where her daughter was standing, holding her hand and bawling, “Papa! No leave!”

 

Bae and Robin stared as their father bolted like a spooked horse into the trees.

 

“What the hell, Rob? What the _hell_?”

 

“Maybe he’s sick or something?” Robin mused, gaping.

Belle went and took the crying Abby into her arms. “It’s okay, baby. I can fix it,” she healed the child’s hand. Then she stared off into the trees, feeling in her mind her husband’s turmoil. _Oh, Rumple! Another flashback?_

 

Abby was quite upset. “Mama . . .Papa’s gone!”

 

“Shh, Abby, Papa got . . .sick and needed to have some . . . err . . .privacy . . ..” she looked helplessly at her sons.

 

“Mama, what happened to him?” asked Bae.

 

“It’s a flashback I think, Bae. Would one of you go after him? He . . .he’s not in his right mind now and I don’t want him to get hurt.”

 

“I will, Mama,” Robin volunteered. “Bae, stay here with Mama and Abby. I’ll see if I can’t convince Papa to come back.”

 

He used his own Talent at reconnaissance to track Rumple’s mage aura, slipping through the trees like a ghost. Not that he really needed his magic, he could have tracked the older man just fine using his eyes and ears, for Rumple had left a trail even a blind deaf man could have followed with ease.

 

As Robin trailed him, he wondered what sort of thing could have caused his normally unflappable papa to behave like that. It was very unnerving to see his commander, the usually calm and super controlled and strong captain, running off into the woods like a madman. No, not crazy, he reminded himself—just beset by demons only his eyes could see.

 

_What the hell did Pan do you, Papa, on that Godforsaken rock?_

 

Rumple paused briefly to catch his breath, his head hurting like the dickens and he felt sick to his stomach. He kept looking at his hands and seeing blood on them, then wiping them frantically on his pants. He could still hear Abby crying in his head, and he cursed himself for a coward for running away.

 

In his mind, Pan laughed and laughed.

 

_Not such a hero now, Captain Gold. Are you? Are you? All those children dead . . . because of you!_

He pressed the heel of his hand to his head. He had a raging headache and wished he dared summon a Headache Remedy to him. Or go back and ask Belle if she had brought one, but how could he face his family after running off like a lunatic?

 

Everything had been going so well, until his damned brain had chosen to go off on him. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just forget . . .why his mind insisted upon dragging him through the swamp of his past captivity. _You’re a mage captain, pull yourself together!_ He ordered firmly.

 

But he feared he never could. He was splintered and broken . . .and he feared like Humpty Dumpty, not all of the king’s men, or even his loving wife, could put him together again.

 

His head throbbed viciously and he felt tears sting his eyes, and he wept, though not so much from pain as from the terrible sickening guilt and grief that swept through him in waves, as he recalled Max and the other boys he had watched die . . .and he wished like hell he had been able to activate his trigger spell before Pan had slapped the bracers of Nullification on him, cancelling his magic.

 

As a Black Ops soldier, Rumple and his company had been trained to withstand torture and coercion spells. But all men had their breaking point and that was why they were all taught the trigger spell—a spell that would stop the caster’s heart if they were ever in a situation where they were captured and tortured beyond endurance. They could die rather than betray their fellow soldiers and their monarchs.

 

And if that failed, there was always the blue pill . . .a quick acting poison that killed in two minutes, and rendered the person mute and shut down their brain function before any information could be extracted by magical means.

 

But Pan, being a former Black Ops mage himself, knew about both the spell and the pill, and had Rumple searched before he incarcerated him upon Skull Rock.

 

Rumple’s head drooped and he rubbed his leg, which was also throbbing.

 

His throat was dry and he licked his lips. He decided to go and get himself a drink, he knew there was a stream nearby.

 

As he limped off towards it, he heard something in the brush. He turned and saw a blue scarf sticking out of the brush.

 

Rumple went over and found the limp form of a person lying in the brush.

And not just any person, but one he knew.

 

It was Marian DuBois, Robin’s beloved.

 

She was lying in a heap on the ground, her tunic smoking from a hole the size of an arrow shaft through her chest . . .but the hole he knew wasn’t cause by any mundane weapon, but a magical bolt.

 

“Marian . . .” he cried. “Oh gods of the wood . . .who the hell did this to you?”

 

He knelt and put his hands upon the awful gaping wound, which did not bleed because the magic had cauterized it.

 

_Hurry, you pathetic excuse for a commander! Before you lose her!_

 

He could feel her life force dwindling beneath his touch, and he took a deep breath and murmured, “Stay with me now, dearie. Stay with me.”

 

Then he began to heal, using his magic to first strengthen her faltering heart, then stabilize her breathing, then he went and healed the gaping wound itself, spending his magical strength in swift sharp bursts, his hands glowing with a brilliant white light.

 

Robin burst into the clearing. “Papa! What are you—holy hells! Marian!”

 

He rushed over to the stricken woman, but then halted as his father’s training took over. Rumple had taught him by the time he could write to never _ever_ interrupt a mage in a Healing or Seeing trance.

 

He watched in awe as his father healed his beloved, and when he took his hands away, Marian was whole, awake, and quite alive.

 

“Welcome back, dearie,” Rumple smiled at the young woman.

 

“Oh! Captain Gold!” Marian gasped, one hand going to her heart. “You . . . you saved me! Thank you!”

 

“Marian! What happened?” Robin demanded, now going to kneel beside her and take her in his arms. “Who attacked you? Whoever it is—I’m going to use their hide for a wall decoration!”

 

“I wouldn’t mind that . . .seeing as it’s my traitor comrade Zelena,” Marian said tightly, hugging Robin.

“Zelena! I thought she was long gone from here!” Robin exclaimed.

 

“No longer. She’s back . . .and she means to have her revenge,” Marian said darkly. “On Captain Mills . . .and on you and your family, Captain Gold.”

 

Rumple’s face went black with rage. “If she harms so much as a hair on any of my family’s heads, I’m going to kill her!”

 

“I was walking over to meet you when she came at me from behind,” Marian related. “I turned around to see what had hit me and she was there, and she laughed, that stupid laugh she has, and screamed, “Give my regards to Gold and my sister, little maid! Wicked always wins!” Or some such nonsense. Then she blasted me with a mage bolt before I could block her. She’s one string short of a spool of thread, I’ll tell you.”

 

“She’s always been unstable and mercurial,” Rumple snorted. “I told Regina that long ago. We need to call out an alert and warn everyone in town before she hurts or kills someone else.” He levered himself to his feet.

 

His raging headache had miraculously disappeared. The fog of depression and grief had lifted from his mind, and he could think once again, clearly and decisively. He had a mission and a purpose once again . . .and this time he would not fail those he loved.

 

 

 

 

**9**

**A Line in the Sand**

After Robin had helped Marian go to the infirmary, since even though Rumple had healed her, he still wished for her to be observed by the Healers, Rumple made his way slowly back to where Belle, Bae, and Abby waited. Bae was the first to ask how he was.

 

“I’m better than I was five minutes ago,” he replied honestly. “I’m sorry I scared you. I just needed a moment alone.” Then he told them what had happened with Marian and how Zelena was responsible.

 

“We have to call out an alert and start warning people to ward their homes and fireproof them and so on. We can’t trust her not to hurt innocents just to get back at those she hates.”

 

“Then let’s get started, Papa,” Bae said, and he vanished in a puff of blue smoke.

 

“Papa, Bae-bae go way?” queried Abby, reaching out her hands for him.

 

Rumple picked her up. “Just for a moment, sweetling.” He looked at his wife. “Belle, let’s have a talk with General Shang.” That was the palace commander of the mage companies, who though individually run by each captain, was answerable to one liaison from their royal monarchs.

 

“And Regina too,” Belle reminded him.

 

“Of course, dearie.”

 

Then they both transported themselves back to the main barracks, Rumple in a cloud of purple smoke and Belle in indigo smoke.

 

 

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

They met with Shang and Regina in his office, casting secret silencing charms over the room so they could not be overheard. Rumple let Abby play on the floor with her rag doll, Lilah, while they discussed the ramifications of Zelena’s return. Regina was horrified that Zelena had nearly killed Marian and she had threatened harm to Rumple and his family.

 

“Rumple, I’m so sorry she did this. I swear, I don’t even know her anymore. Maybe I never did, for she behaves like a totally different person than how we were raised. My mother was ambitious and strict, but she favored Zel over me. I was the one to set an example, yet she was indulged and cosseted, and I think now she’s gotten too big of a head because of it.” Regina shook her head. “Something’s twisted in her, I fear, and if she can betray her comrades and family to this degree, we need to take every precaution.”

 

“I agree,” said General Shang, a very canny warrior, one who had the greatest regard for the mage companies of the Forest Brigade.

 

“Watch your back too, dearie,” Captain Gold warned. “It isn’t just me and mine she’s out to stab in the back.”

“I’ll be careful,” Regina promised, and put a hand to her abdomen, where the precious new life grew inside her.

 

“We’ll need to start initiating defense protocols and security immediately,” Shang declared.

 

Both seasoned officers nodded.

 

“She’s challenging us,” Belle murmured.

 

“Aye, dearie. But with my rescue of Marian, I’ve just drawn a line in the sand,” Rumple declared. “And if she takes up _my_ challenge, and steps across, I’ll be waiting,” he said grimly.

 

And for the first time since he had stepped off the transport, Belle saw her soldier husband come all the way back from the shadows and darkness of Skull Rock, to be again the devoted, fierce, and loyal warrior of the Ogre Wars, who had saved thousands of children without batting an eyelash at the danger.

 

_If you dare the wrath of Captain Gold, be prepared to pay a steep price._

 

The oft repeated words of wisdom to new recruits whispered in her head as she saw her husband lift his head and pride stiffen his spine once more. Having a tangible threat to focus on seemed to help recall his self-confidence and worth, and stop him from wallowing in his past trials.

 

Captain Gold was back. For now.

 

Protocol in this case meant that no one who was not authorized was allowed into the town, and the wards were increased about the perimeter and at the front entrance, a ward was set up specifically to read a person’s aura, and keyed to go off if Zelena attempted to slip past them in a different guise, since nothing could disguise a mage’s unique aura, not even concealment magic.

 

Roving patrols of four man teams would be increased, and each would have amulets of identification plus a description of Zelena in order to correctly identify and apprehend the fugitive if they should encounter her. Their orders were to incapacitate of possible, or kill if necessary. Another line of defense was the _astafari_ , affectionately referred to as phantoms among the mages, their wind spirit allies. An _astafari_ would be able to sense Zelena and could either freeze her by touching her, or kill her by stopping her heart, and the wind spirits were the living hearts of the Enchanted Forest, able to speak to the mages directly using mind to mind communication. A rogue mage like Zelena would be regarded as an upset to the Balance, and they would work to correct it—by whatever means necessary.

 

“We also need to circulate her description and aura around to the other kingdoms and warn them that a rogue is on the loose,” Shang said. “And giving sanctuary or aid to her is forbidden and anyone who recognizes her should inform us at once. I want her taken—dead or alive, makes no difference.”

 

Regina nodded tightly. Though Zelena was her family, she had broken all of the codes she had been raised to honor, and now must pay the price.

 

“I’ll restrengthen the wards on my house. And you should too, Rumple. Gods forbid she goes after Abby.”

 

“She’ll die a quick death if she does that,” Belle declared coldly. “No one hurts my child. I’ll call down the curse of a thousand sorrows upon her, if necessary.” That curse was one of the most potent in a Mind Healer’s arsenal, and despite their reputation as healers, they too were soldiers, and could use battle magic with the best of them.

 

“Not if I kill her first!” Rumple growled. “Either with magic or my bare hands or a dagger. Either way it’ll accomplish what I want—to rid the world of something unstable and deadly.”

 

He wished he had seen the danger before now, and instead of summoning a Mind Healer that day in his office, had summoned the Enforcerers—magical military police—instead. The guilt almost strangled him. Then he recalled an old maxim— _guilt_ _helps nothing_. And he resolved to fix the oversight.

 

Because no more people deserved to die at the hands of another crazed madman.

 

He looked again at his precious daughter, now curled up asleep on the rug and said, “We should start protocol immediately. But first I need to put my daughter down for a nap.”

 

“Number one priority, Gold,” Shang chuckled.

 

“Always,” he answered, and then picked his daughter up.

 

Once they had called out an alert, the Golds departed to their home.

 

While Belle put Abby down for a nap, Rumple redesigned his protective wards yet again about his house and yard, reweaving the magic to automatically prevent Zelena from coming near his home and property and zapping her if she tried—hard. He was taking no chances.

 

He had drawn a line in the sand.

 

And woe betide the one who had made him do so. Because there was no one fiercer than Captain Gold defending those he loved.

 

Belle came out from their daughter’s room and looked at her husband. “We’ll need to check on the boys later. But for now . . .” she went and laid a hand on her husband’s arm. “Rumple, we won’t let this stand. Zelena’s no Pan.”

 

“You’re right. And forewarned is forearmed, dearie.”

 

She saw his face go blank with anguish, saw his features tense and harden as he locked whatever memory down, away from her. “Rumple . . .don’t shut me out.”

 

“I have to, Belle. Some memories I’m not ready to deal with,” he replied darkly. “Respect my privacy.”

 

“All right,” she agreed. Privacy was one of the tenets of a good Mind Healer. And Belle knew better than to press her husband when he was like this. In time she knew he would reveal whatever was bothering him. And if not . . . well everyone was entitled to carry secrets to their graves. “Let’s have a cup of tea, shall we?”

 

“Yes,” he replied, and vowed to go over to his sons’ house later that day and make sure their wards were up to par also. Because one never knew.

 

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

 

After checking on his son and making sure they had layered their wards just in case Zelena tried something, Rumple returned home for dinner and some quiet time with his family, praying the procedures and countermeasures would work. It was while he was sitting with his daughter, reading to her about a very silly chipmunk who didn’t want to go to bed, that he realized some of his anxiety was not due to Zelena’s vendetta, but his own reactions to his night terrors.

 

Fearful he would cause an injury to Belle again, Rumple summoned some magical chalk, the kind the wizars used to draw protective circles and pentagrams with, and began to draw a line around the sofa.

 

Belle and Abby stared at him.

 

“Rumple, what are you doing?” Belle asked.

 

“Papa, why you drawin’ on the floor?” Abby exclaimed. “You’s not suppost to!”

 

Rumple finished sketching his circle and then said, “This is a special drawing, sprite.”

 

Belle frowned. “Rumple, you already put wards about the house again. Zelena can’t cross them and come inside, remember?” She was concerned her husband was becoming paranoid.

 

“This isn’t for Zelena, dearie. It’s to protect you and Abby from me,” he responded, summoning some pillows and a blanket over.

 

His wife gaped at him. “You’re going to . . . sleep on the couch? Rumple, that’s crazy. I’m perfectly safe with you. Take down that protective line and come to bed with me. I could never be afraid of my own husband.”

 

Rumple looked at her sadly. “You should be, dearie. I’m not the man you know. I’ve changed, and you need to treat me like a criminal.”

 

“No! You have night terrors, that doesn’t make you a dark wizard!” she argued.

 

“Papa not bad!” Abby added.

 

“But it _does_ make me dangerous,” he answered back softly. “Belle, I can’t live with hurting you or Abby, even unintentionally. Until I get a handle on this, you’re going to have to treat me the way you would a hostile patient. Or a soldier fresh from the field, on battle alert. You know what that means.”

 

Belle sighed. “Rumple . . .”

 

“No, Belle. I want you to be safe. And if you treat me like I’m on battle alert, you will be.” He stared at her, his dark eyes pleading.

 

“I just don’t want you to think you should be treated like an outcast. You’re not a monster, Rumple. You’re a wounded warrior and you need time to heal.”

 

“This will give me time, Belle,” he reassured her. If he ever hurt her again the way he had done before . . . he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He didn’t like this self-imposed exile from their bed any more than she did. But he knew it was necessary.

 

Knowing it was futile to argue when her husband got his stubborn on, and also realizing that sometimes the patient knew better than the Mind Healer what was best for him, Belle acquiesced. “All right. Just for a while.” Then she moved over and hugged him hard. “No matter what you have endured, or what he did to you, or made you do, I will never leave you or let you leave me, Rumplestiltskin. We’re a team, and you never abandon your teammate,” she murmured into his ear, reciting the maxim all the Forest Brigades lived by.

 

His mouth twitched into an involuntary grin. “Even when your teammate is broken in pieces?”

 

“Especially then,” she asserted. “What’s been broken can be mended. And if not, you adjust and learn to cope with it. Besides, I promised you forever when I spoke my vows, and sometimes the best teacups are chipped.” She placed her hands on either side of his face and gazed deeply into his sienna colored eyes. “And I love my chipped cup, Captain Gold.”

 

“You are amazing, my wife,” he said, his lips inches from her own.

 

“No, that’s you,” she corrected. “You are. You’ve come home to me, and a sword forged in fire is always stronger for the tempering,” she quoted one of their old battle instructors.

 

“Are you gonna kiss her or not, Papa?” Abby demanded from her place on the couch.

 

Her parents chuckled. “Guess we’ve received our marching orders,” Belle giggled, then she kissed her husband hard, reaffirming all the passion and love she had for him in that single breath-stealing kiss.

 

When Rumple could breathe again, he looked back at his daughter and said, “Happy now, little imp?”

 

Abby gave him a winsome grin. “Papa loves Mama!”

“Aye, I do. As sure as the sun rises and sets,” he replied.

 

Then he stepped from his wife’s arms and pointed to the line around the couch. “C’mere, Abby dearie.” He waited until she had slid from the couch to come beside him before he knelt and said, “D’you see that white line around the couch, Abby?”

 

“Uh huh. Why’s it there, Papa?” she asked, her small face crinkling in puzzlement.

 

‘It’s so you know where to stand when you need to wake me up in the morning, sweetling,” he explained. “Y’see, I need a lot of rest and if you touch me to wake me up, I might get scared and hurt you by mistake, so you need to stand there, on the other side of the line and just call me, all right?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because Papa has bad dreams and he needs to be woken up this way for awhile,” Belle added. It was what they normally did in the field when a fellow mage soldier was on battle alert, since they were trained to wake at a moment’s notice ready to kill someone with their magic, since most of the time anyone touching them meant to kill them first. Thus all new recruits learned battle alert protocol first thing, and to never ever shake or touch a mage awake, but always stand at a safe distance and call their name.

 

“Can you do this, Abby?” queried her father. “Will you be able to remember?”

 

“Yes, Papa. I ‘member,” the little moppet said seriously.

 

“If not, wait for Mama and then we can both wake Papa up,” Belle stressed.

 

“’kay,” their daughter agreed.

 

Then she held up her arms and said, “More story, Papa! Pwease!”

 

“Now how can I refuse that?” Rumple smirked, and he picked her up to finish the promised story.

 

Afterwards, both parents tucked her into bed and then Rumple bid Belle good night and headed to the couch to sleep. He would be lonely without his wife’s warmth and comforting presence, but it was better than attacking her and hurting her.

It took him almost an hour to fall asleep, used to hearing Belle’s breathing beside him, and when he did he dreamed of Zelena, standing there laughing at him, fire glowing in her hand, and she cried, “Wanna play with fire, Scarecrow?” and then she threw the fireball at Abby.

 

Rumple woke up and choked back a scream, sitting bolt upright, his heart pounding frantically in his chest.

 

He forced himself to calm down, doing mental exercises and breathing techniques and conjuring a small ball of mage light.

 

Then he rose to his feet and fumbled in the apothecary chest for another bottle of dreamless sleep potion.

 

He drank it and then tumbled back into the gray realm, asleep without dreams. He knew Belle wouldn’t have approved, but he refused to wake her up over his minds conjuring silly dreams to torment him.

 

His final though before sleep claimed him was that Zelena must be found and dealt with, for she had crossed the line and would now pay the price.  

 


	10. The Enemy Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something sinister happens to Henry and shatters Gold and Belle's peaceful interlude

 

Belle found it difficult to sleep that night, without the comforting warmth of her husband beside her. She was use to cuddling up close beside him and having his arm snuggling her, or hearing his soft breathing in her ear, or laying her head on his chest to listen to his heart thumping in a soothing rhythm. She missed running her fingers through his floofy silky hair and whispering sweet endearments in his ear. She even missed how sometimes he hogged the pillow and snatched all the covers to him because he was cold, though most times they ended up entwined about each other so the covers were either beneath them or over them like a cocoon.

 

Now that he was absent from her side, though only a room or two away, like the past two months when he was on Neverland, she found her body was restless and unable to settle. She tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable spot. First the bed was too cold, then it was too hot and she threw off the comforter, only to be shivering ten minutes later, and dragging it up to her chin, yet still unable to get warm. She waited to hear his familiar hushed breathing in her ear and his hand caressing her, her body crying out in longing for him like an addict craving his drug of choice.

 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she crawled out of bed and padded down the hall to the main room, where she found her husband asleep on the couch, the blanket wrapped about him, the chalk line he’d erected gleaming in the banked glow of the fire. He looked so innocent asleep, she thought, and just remained staring at him for several long moments, wishing she dared cross the line and kiss him, just once, on his perfect lips.

 

But she didn’t dare.

 

She understood why he had done what he had, and though she disliked it intensely, realized that it was his way of taking control of his demons, in almost the only way he could. And that control was important, especially to someone who had been a prisoner and tortured the way he had. For two months his life had been beyond his control, and now that he had regained his freedom of choice, she had to let him exercise it—even when his choices made her upset and sad.

 

_My wounded warrior. One day, you shall be whole again. Not perfect, but mended. And that will be enough and more than enough for me._

 

She smiled lovingly at him, then she made her way back to her solitary bed on cat’s feet. Curling up in the center of it, she did some deep breathing and meditation exercises and soon grew weary enough to lie down and sleep—until the sound of her daughter yelling woke her.

 

“ _Papa! It’s moorning ti-i-me!”_

Abby stood just behind the chalk line around the couch, her bare toes almost touching it, clad only in her pink nightie, her flyaway brown hair, so like Rumple’s, straggling down her back in a mare’s nest of snarls, bellowing like she was a drill sergeant on the parade ground.

 

Belle buried her head in the pillow, thinking _oh, she’s your daughter, all right, Captain Gold!_

 

In the living room, Rumple groaned and shoved his head under his pillow, trying to avoid the banshee that had invaded his well-earned rest. Maybe if he ignored the little minx she would go away.

 

“ _Papa! Time to rise and shine!”_

No such luck.

 

Rumple stuck part of his head out from beneath the pillow and opened an eye. “Abby, dearie, go wake up Mama.”

 

But his little sprite shook her head firmly. “Noo! Wake you first!”

 

“With your bellowing you could wake a deaf person from the dead!” he grumbled, reluctantly sitting up. His hair was sticking out in all directions.

 

Abby hesitated, then crowed, “Get outta bed, you sleepyhead! ‘Fore I make you drop n’ gimme twenty!”

 

Rumple lost it then, for her tone was almost an exact imitation of his own when he was teaching new recruits. He laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch. “C’mere, Sergeant Sprite!” He held out his arms and Abby bounded over the line and into them. He swung her up into the air and cried, “Oh no! The big bad Mr. Nibbles is gonna eat your nose!”

 

Then he pretended to bite the child’s nose.

 

“No! Not my nose!” Abby squealed.

 

“First your nose, then your ears, then your neck . . .nibble, nibble, nibble,” Rumple “nibbled” his way down her, making the little girl shriek with laughter, for she was ticklish and his love bites tickled deliciously. “All the way down to your toes!”

 

Soon the house rang with merry giggles, and Belle climbed out of bed and came down the hall just in time to see her husband playing with their daughter, both of them wearing identical grins and giggling like inmates from an insane asylum.

 

Belle leaned on the door frame, watching, and thought how Abby truly lived up to her name—making Rumple forget the shadows that lingered in his psyche and just be a playful loving parent again. The way he had been before being a captive on Neverland.

 

_That’s it, Abby. Make him remember, sprite, how it used to be, and chase away the grim beasts and shadows._

Perhaps, the Mind Healer thought, her daughter could do what all of the sessions in the world could not, show Rumplestiltskin that he was loved more than anything, and always would be.

 _You’ll always be her hero, Rumple._ His wife chuckled as her little imp of daughter attempted to tickle Rumple back.

 

“Tickle, tickle!” Abby squealed, her little hands sneaking to tickle the backs of Rumple’s knees, as he had them propped up on the couch with Abby leaning against them.

 

“Hey!” he yelped, then started giggling again. “Sneak attack, sergeant?”

 

He scooped his daughter up and kissed her cheeks. “Okay, sprite, enough! We’ll play some more later.”

 

“Awright. Need to go potty!” she sang and scrambled off him.

 

“Ooof!” he grunted as her foot stepped right on his stomach and her other one on his injured leg. “And I’m gonna need a Healer!”

 

He swung his legs down as Abby scurried off to the bathroom, and saw Belle. “Hey. Did we wake you?”

 

“I like to wake up to you laughing, Rumple,” she told him honestly. Then she crossed the line and ran her fingers through his hair. “Your hair’s all floofy, Captain.”

 

“Uniform of the day, Lieutenant,” he smirked, his eyes dancing. That was an old joke between them and it went all the way back to before they were dating, when she had accidentally surprised him taking a bath in a stream on campaign.

 

“Is that a suggestion?” she teased back, her hands drifting to the buttons on his nightshirt.

 

“What are you suggesting, dearie?” he queried naughtily.

 

She flipped open a button. “Something quite . . .non-regulation, Captain,” she purred, her blue eyes heating up. “After our sprite is in bed.”

 

“I’ll put it on my to-do list.”

 

“Rumple!” she mock-growled and pretended to cuff him across the head.

 

“Hey, sweetheart! Watch it! You’re messing with my hair!”

 

“Floof can stand messing with,” she retorted, and then deliberately ran her hands through it and made it stand up until it flopped over into his eyes.

 

“I think you should have been a hair stylist instead of a Mind Healer, the way you play with my hair,” her husband snickered.

 

“Your hair is irresistible,” she told him, then she leaned over and kissed him.

 

They nearly forgot they weren’t alone, until Abby cried, “Mama kiss Papa!”

 

“I forgot we had an audience,” Belle whispered guiltily as she drew away.

 

“In awhile, dearie,” he crooned. He stood up, and the small empty vial of sleeping draught fell onto the floor.

 

He bent to pick it up, but Belle saw and said, “Rumple, too much of that is not a good thing.”

 

“I know, but . . . I didn’t want to have any more nightmares last night.”

 

“You could have woken me up.”

 

He glanced away, and she knew that was because he hadn’t wished to, he had wanted as much as he could to handle it himself.

 

She had learned a long time ago that her husband, being the damaged individual he was, not only because of this imprisonment on Neverland, but also what his father had done to him as a child, was someone who could not trust easily. His father has destroyed his trust early on, and Belle had worked like a dervish to repair at least some of that damage, but she was wise enough to know that it wasn’t possible to repair it all, and Rumple would always have problems with trusting anyone with his weaknesses.

 

Even herself.

 

But that was all right. One of a Mind Healer’s maxims was _heal what can be healed, but let the rest go._

Another one was _the mind holds many secrets, and some secrets are mysteries that will never be uncovered._

 

Meaning that sometimes a patient must be allowed to keep their secrets and privacy and utter honesty was not something to be forced upon someone ever, not even for “their own good.” The mind knew what a person could handle, and it was not up to the Mind Healer to determine what secrets should or should not be revealed, but to take what the person was willing to give and work with it. Sometimes some very damaged individuals had secrets they could not face, or wished to share, and all patients were entitled to their privacy, and forcing an issue could often hurt them further, and went against the Mind Healer codes.

 

Thus Belle did not press Rumple to reveal why he had wanted to take the dreamless sleep potion, allowing him to choose whether or not he wanted to reveal his nightmare. Though required to have sessions with her, he could choose the time and place, and also what would be discussed. Belle had learned long before that her husband was a complex man, and she loved him for it.

 

She touched his shoulder lightly. “If you need to talk, I’m here. Always.”

 

He just nodded quickly.

 

He was like an injured animal, wary and unwilling to come close, but she had extended her hand, and if he wished to take what she offered, he could do so, she knew the virtue of patience, and to give him the freedom to make his own choices.

 

“Mama, I hungry!” Abby called, trying to climb up into her chair at the kitchen table.

 

Belle gave her husband a tender smile and went to make breakfast, while Rumple shaved and tamed his floofy hair somewhat.

 

Belle went to get the eggs and milk from the porch, thinking about paying a call on Regina that day, and she was distracted thinking about that, so she didn’t notice that Henry’s scarf had been dropped on the ground.

 

She shut the back door, her mind on making omelets for breakfast and so missed the striped red and white scarf lying like a discarded flag in the mud.

 

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

In the twins’ house, next door, Peaceful raised her graying head from the floor and barked warningly.

 

Bae looked up from the canvas he was painting and said, “Hush, old girl. I just took you out.” Then he became alarmed and said, “All right, you can go out again if you have to.” The sheepdog was old now and having some issues with bladder control and the last thing he wanted was to clean up a puddle on the floor. She had been his and Robin’s dog since they were little kids, Rumple had brought her home from a campaign one day after finding her starving and eating trash by his tent, a skinny scrawny puppy with worms and half-frozen from cold. But like many a rescued dog, Peaceful had turned out to be a wonderful companion, protective and loving.

 

Bae made a smooching noise to encourage the dog, who was going deaf, and tapped the floor, since the animal could still feel vibrations. “Peaceful! Wanna go out?”

 

The sheepdog whined and levered herself to her feet, then made her way out of the open door held for her into the yard.

 

Bae returned to his canvas, it was a surprise for Rumple, a drawing he’d done of his papa with all three of his children and Peaceful surrounding his captain father, and underneath it were the words— _Captain Rumple Gold—papa and hero._

 

He hoped this would remind his papa that no matter what had gone on at Skull Rock, he would always be a hero to his children, and an example to all on how a true officer of a mage company behaved when made a prisoner of war.

 

He heard Peaceful scratching on the door, and went to let her in, finding the dog now held a striped scarf in her mouth.

 

“Hey, where’d you get this?” Bae chuckled. He took the scarf from the dog. “Looks familiar,” he muttered, then he put the scarf aside to show Robin later and went back to his painting, while the old dog curled up on the hearth rug and slept, unable to tell her master that another person besides Henry had been in the vicinity of the Gold properties that morning, a person whose scent was intermingled with that of a crow.

 

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

Regina Mills couldn’t remember a time when she had felt this awful, not even when she was first pregnant with Henry. She was almost never sick, and when she was she usually could fight through it with her iron will, and had never missed a day of work because of an illness.

 

Until now.

 

This pregnancy sapped her strength and made her disgustingly weak and tired, to the point where she needed to sleep almost all day, and caused her to throw up nearly everything except tea, dry toast, chicken broth, and water.

 

The Healers had put her on medical leave because her condition was interfering with her ability to perform her duty as captain of the Queens and now her second, Mulan, would have to take over. Regina hated being so captive to her own body. Even though she loved the fact she was carrying a new life, and hopefully the girl she and Dan longed for, she wished wholeheartedly there was a spell to speed up pregnancy.

 

Daniel had left her with a pitcher of ice water with lemon, some chicken broth with herbs in a bowl, and a piece of toast. Currently she was lying in bed, trying to read a book Belle had brought her, and wondering when Henry was going to get back from doing his chores over at the Gold residences and the Dubois and others so he could keep her company.

 

She drank some water and broth and nibbled on a corner of her toast, dozing lightly and then waking to go use the latrine down the hall. As she was coming out she decided to go down to the kitchen to see if Henry was back and had eaten the plate of food Daniel had left for him.

 

To her surprise she found the food was untouched and had started to grow cold upon the table. When she looked at the clock on the shelf, she saw it was quarter past eight and Henry woke up at 6 and was gone by 6:30 and should have been back way before now.

 

She pressed a hand to her heart, panicking.

 

With the increased security measures because of Zelena, she had been sure no harm would come to her first born here in the barracks. But if that were so, then why was he so late returning from his routine chores?

 

Frantic, she grabbed her handheld magic mirror off the shelf and spoke into it. “Show me Henry Mills!”

 

The mirror glowed and swirled . . .and then remained blank.

 

Regina shook it. Then she repeated her command. “Show me Henry Mills!”

 

Again she felt the mirror’s magic seek her son—and then come up against something, a barrier, that prevented it from doing as she commanded.

 

Her heart went cold in her chest.

 

That could mean only one thing. Henry was being held prisoner by someone who could block mirror seeking magic.

 

She only knew of one person who would want to harm her or her son.

 

 

 _She has my son. She has my son!_ Regna put a hand to her stomach, her heart thumping crazily in her chest.

 

_What can I do?_

 

She was terrified, imagining all kinds of things Zelena could do to her little boy, and knowing her sister, she wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever she could to harm him, and therefore harm her sister, whom she’d always resented.

 

An instant later her training took over and she felt the fog of terror clear. She must think. And then she had to act. She used the mirror to call Daniel. Then she called Central Command and put out an alert for a missing child, kidnapped, suspect at large.

 

Rumple was up to his elbows in hot soapy water as he washed dishes when he felt the tingle of a mirror summoning shoot through him.

 

“One minute!” he sighed, and said, “Someone’s calling me on my mirror,” to Belle as he pulled his arms out of the water and dried them off with a dishcloth.

 

“Go ahead, I’ll finish here.”

 

Rumple limped into the office where his mirror was locked in his drawer, and unlocked it with a brief word. Then he took it out. “Captain Gold here. Report.”

 

He assumed it was one of his company trying to get in touch with him, but as soon as Regina’s face appeared in the mirror he knew it was an emergency.

 

“Rumple, I need your help.”

 

“What’s happened, dearie?”

 

“Henry’s gone missing. And I think you know who has him.”

 

Rumple’s eyes darkened. “Zelena. But how did she get past our wards?”

 

“I don’t know. She shouldn’t have been able to. Unless . . .”

 

“Unless she was already inside them when they went up,” he finished. “In another form.”

 

“Yes. She’s been known to take the shape of a crow,” murmured Regina. She told Rumple all the details she knew about Henry’s disappearance. “Daniel’s out scouring the forest with his brigade, but I know you and your sons are the best there are when it comes to track and find, Rumple.”

 

“We’ll find him, dearie. I’ll tell Bae and Robin and we’ll come over. You just relax until we come there. Too much stress isn’t good for the baby. Gold out.”

 

He set the mirror down and then went to tell Belle what had happened. Then he vowed by the horns of Cernunnos the Forest Lord to make that green witch pay for what she had done, though he had no idea that she had been a party to far more than just a kidnapping.


	11. The Elusive Quarry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The quest is on to find Henry! And Belle and Regina comfort each other over their losses.

Bae knew something was wrong the moment he saw his father's face after he'd opened the front door. "Papa, did something happen with Mama? Abby?" were the first words out of his mouth after he let Rumple into his house.

"Not exactly. But something happened to Henry," he explained concisely what they were sure had happened—the boy had been abducted by his aunt.

Bae frowned. "Hang on a sec," he said, then went to get the scarf Peaceful had brought to him. "Peaceful found this here this morning. I thought maybe he'd dropped it when he was going to milk your goat."

At the sound of her name, Peaceful lifted her head and thumped her tail on the ground. Then she carefully got to her feet and lumbered over to him, thrusting her nose into his hand.

"Hey, girl," Bae stroked the faithful old dog's head. "I don't have any treats for you, just showing Papa what you found."

The dog perked up her ears and half-whimpered, looking at him hopefully.

Rumple took the scarf. "That's Henry's all right. I was the one who helped him make this."

"I could cast a locator charm on this," Bae offered.

"Not with the wards up here, son," Rumple reminded him the compound was on red alert. "The spell will get tangled up."

"Right. Forgot about that." The mage tracker looked dismayed. "Well, we can always do it the old fashioned way by using our eyes."

Peaceful nudged his hand again and barked.

Bae turned to look at the fine old collie. "Peaceful, you old mooch, what—" Then he stared at the dog. "That's it! She might be old, but her nose is still good, Papa. She can track for us."

Rumple eyed the dog doubtfully. "Bae, she's sixteen! The poor girl's not up to a scout. She's got arthritis and she's almost deaf and blind."

Peaceful barked again, then buried her nose in the scarf on Rumple's lap. She lifted her head and waltzed backwards, a trick she had learned years before herding sheep, then she scratched at the door and barked eagerly.

"Papa, look! She wants to help. She might be old, but she's not pushing up daisies yet."

Rumple stared at the collie. The dog plainly was trying to lead them somewhere. "All right, Bae. But let me heal her a smidgen first. I don't want her collapsing." He slapped his knee. "Peaceful, come!"

The collie obediently came to him, sitting neatly at his feet as she had been trained to do.

Rumple took the dog's head in his hands, murmuring, "If you can help us, girl, I'd be greatly obliged to you, aye? Now, just relax and I'll heal you a wee bit of those aching bones and joints."

A golden glow covered his hands and then spread down the dog, as he temporarily mended her arthritis and sharpened her hearing and eyesight for the trek. Temporary because not even his magic could put off the inevitable—old age.

When it vanished, Peaceful seemed spry again, and she scampered like a puppy to the door and barked to be let out.

"Bae! Can you please shut the damn dog up? I'm trying to sleep here!" came Robin's voice from his bedroom.

"Get your ass out of bed, Lieutenant!" barked his father. "We've got a scouting mission."

Two seconds later, a rumpled Robin appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Papa?"

Rumple snorted. "Make yourself presentable. Bae will fill you in. Meantime, let me follow Peaceful and see what she finds." He rose.

Bae looked at him askance. "Papa, are you sure you don't want to wait? Your leg . . ."

His father gave him a sharp glare. "Are you questioning my competence, Lieutenant Gold?"

"No sir!" Bae immediately fell back into his old patterns.

"Good. Because if you were, we might have to go a few rounds," Gold grunted, and then he followed Peaceful out the door.

"Bae, what in hell? Has the old man lost it?" Robin asked.

"I heard that!" Gold growled.

"Sorry, sir," his son muttered. Then he looked at his twin. "Just what is going on?"

Peaceful led Captain Gold across the yard, her tail waving like a tattered banner. Gold followed carefully, for the yard had some holes and so forth in it from the rain and passage of animals running to and fro.

The collie paused as she came upon the invisible boundary from her yard to his own, knowing she shouldn't go past her property.

Gold limped up to her and caressed her head. "It's okay, old girl. Find him!" He gave her a hand signal to proceed.

Peaceful barked and then trotted across the invisible line and into his yard. She trailed the boy's scent out of Gold's yard and into the woods bordering it. Again she halted and glanced back, as if to say, _Are you coming?_

Gold's eyes crinkled. "Hold up, girl. I know you might feel like a puppy again, but this blasted leg of mine is slowing me down."

 _Damn you, Pan!_ He cursed softly as he limped up to where the dog now waited.

Peaceful waited patiently, then went on again.

Bae and Robin soon caught up to them, running in tandem on silent feet, and even though Rumple was expecting them, startled him a bit when they surrounded him. He conjured an energy bolt on instinct, then let it fade when he saw who it was. "My gods, next time send to me, you idiots! I almost fried you."

"Sorry, Papa. But we were in a hurry," Bae began.

"You in a hurry to die too?" Rumple demanded caustically.

"No, sir," Robin sighed. "What's Peaceful found?"

"She's tracking him." Gold indicated the eager dog watching them. "So follow her. Don't let me slow you down."

His sons loped up to the sheepdog. "Good girl, Peaceful," Robin crooned. "Fine Henry for me."

The collie wagged her tail, and then barked once and went to follow the scent again.

Gold rubbed his lame leg, as it was aching, then he ignored it and followed doggedly through the woods. He doubted the trail would last much longer, as Zelena would have teleported once she was beyond the boundary. Still any lead was a good lead now.

**Page ~*~*~*~Break**

Belle was having a rather trying morning. After Rumple had left, she had attempted to work on some cases while Abby played with her toys on the floor in her office. The only problem was Abby was in one of her exploring moods this morning and refused to sit still. She toddled over to the small table where Belle had her journals and a stack of note paper and knocked everything over.

"Oops! Fall down!"

Belle groaned. "Abby, quit touching everything! Come and play with Jack-Jack and Jenny." Those were Abby's baby dolls.

"Don't wanna!" the minx declared with a stubborn pout. Then she pointed to the floor. "Uh oh! Mama, mess!"

"Yes, and you made it!" the young mother sighed exasperatedly. She gestured and the paper and periodicals were put back. "Come here. Mama wants to tell you a story."

But Abby shook her head, her brown curls flying. "No! No 'tory! Want Papa!"

"Papa's not here. He went to work."

The child scowled. "No!" she bolted out of the office, screaming, "Papa! Where you?"

"Child, you'd try the patience of the Mother herself!" Belle huffed, and got to her feet before Abby could try getting out of the house to look for Rumple.

Since Rumple had come home, Abby had become very clingy and followed him about like a shadow. Belle understood why, but lately her daughter had become prone to acting out when Rumple wasn't around, and though Belle knew what caused that behavior, she wasn't minded to put up with it either.

She winced as Abby began banging on the cottage door and wailing loudly for her father. "Papa! Want Papa!"

"Dearest gods, not again!" Belle moaned, and went to see if she could calm her daughter down.

She could have used magic, as a Mind Healer she was trained in all kinds of magical spells to calm patients and put them in a relaxed state, but magic use on children was frowned upon. Because it created a dependency on the part of the parent, to use it any time the child did something wrong, and that was not a good thing.

She approached her daughter, who was now red faced and sobbing, tears making tracks down her cherub cheeks. "Sweetie, stop. Papa will be home soon."

Abby continued to bawl and kick the door. "Want Papa!"

Belle cringed for the child had a scream that could make your ears ring. "Okay . . .what if we go see Aunt Gina and then see if Papa's home?"

She hoped that maybe getting the child out of the house would distract her enough so she forgot about missing Rumple. And Regina no doubt would welcome the company and distraction as well.

Abby paused, sucking in great gulps of air. Then she quit banging the door and ran over to Belle, hugging her about the legs. "I see Aunt Gina!"

"That's my girl," Belle cooed, and picked her up. "Let's wash your face and we'll go see her."

She contacted Rumple through their bond, letting him know where she was, then she went to clean up her daughter before going visiting.

Regina answered the door when Belle knocked. The usually composed and ultra calm captain of the Red Queens looked like she had fought a battalion of ogres singlehanded and come out the loser. Her eyes were red from crying, her hair was tangled mess, and she wore a simple tunic and pants, the tunic laces undone.

"Aunt Gina!" Abby crowed and held out her arms for Regina to hold her.

"Hey, Gabby Abby," Regina said, trying not to burst into tears as she hugged the little girl. Her stomach was just beginning to show, and it protruded slightly above the waistband of her pants, which actually were Daniel's old riding breeches, since she hadn't yet gotten her new ones made over yet and had given away the uniforms and maternity clothes she had worn when pregnant with Henry, thinking she would never be blessed with another child. Now it seemed the gods had answered her prayers for another child, but now she had lost her firstborn to her scheming wicked sister.

The weight of the beautiful child in her arms caused her to hug Abby tighter than normal and the child squeaked, "Auntie Gina, you is 'quishing me!"

"I'm sorry, baby." Regina apologized and went to put Abby down and greet Belle. "Belle, it's good of you to come. I'm just so . . .frazzled and . . ." to her horror, tears came to her eyes. She was the tough as dragonhide captain of the first and only female mage company in the Forest Brigades and she was weeping like some baby! Yet she couldn't seem to help herself.

"Damned hormones!" she sniffed and went to grope for a handkerchief.

Belle handed her one. "Here. I always carry these on me. Little children and their sticky fingers and runny noses." She gave the other woman a sympathetic smile. "Come on, we'll sit down and have some tea on the veranda."

Regina took the handkerchief and blew her nose and swiped at her eyes. Though she thought she hadn't fooled Belle for a moment. The other woman was, after all, an Empathic Mind Healer. "Thanks, Belle."

Suddenly Abby tugged on her tunic, her huge eyes bright with worry. "Aunt Gina sad?"

"Uh . . yes, a little," the captain replied honestly.

Abby threw her arms about her and cried. "Not be sad! I's here!" Then she did something totally unexpected.

She projected happiness at the beleaguered combat mage, and like a ray of sunlight, it suffused Regina's being with a golden warmth.

Regina's eyes widened as she felt the toddler's nascent magic.

Belle gasped. "Abby!" she cried, feeling what her daughter was doing. "Abby, sweetie, stop!" She gently pulled her daughter away from Regina, and slipped mind shields into place, locking away the child's magic, for to have a small child projecting constantly would exhaust her and possibly also injure her growing body and mind.

Abby whined. "But Mama, make Aunt Gina happy!"

"Yes, and that was very good of you baby girl, but . . ." Belle began, stroking her hair.

"I'm very happy right now, Abby," Regina assured her, and kissed her cheek. "Belle, she's your daughter all right."

"And Rumple's too," Belle laughed. "She gets her precociousness with magic from him. I could never do what she did at that age. My magic only showed up when I was twelve and became a woman with my first monthly."

"She's quite amazing," Regina said, cupping her belly. "I wonder if this one . . ." Then she shook her head.

"Let's have some tea," Belle suggested again, and she led the way into the kitchen. "Have you heard from Daniel yet? Or Rumple? He's gone out with Bae and Robin to look. You know the twins are the best trackers in all the companies."

"I know." Regina took mugs down and handed them to Belle. The reputation of the Gold twins as the best recon officers anywhere in the Enchanted Forest was well known. "But I also know my sister. Zelena is a petty hag, but she's not stupid, more's the pity. I know your husband dressed her down good after what happened on Neverland, and she'll be out for revenge." She bit her lip hard. "In fact she's already started. We had it out after I went to see her at the base infirmary. I told her that her actions were a disgrace to the company, herself , and her family. And she swore at me up and down like some crazy thing. I walked away, figuring she was just having one of her snits, then when she disappeared . . .I never thought Henry wasn't safe, Belle!"

Belle laid a hand on her friend's arm. "I know. But you know, the most dangerous enemy isn't one you face across a battlefield, but the one you know best. Zelena knew just how to strike at you. But you mustn't lose hope. We _will_ get Henry back. You know Rumple won't stop until we do."

Regina nodded. "I know. I trust him. He was my mentor, Belle. If anyone can get my son back, he can. It's just so hard to sit here and . . .and wait . . . I feel like I'm going to fly to pieces . . ."

"You need to calm down. Getting upset like this isn't good for you or the baby," Belle warned. She gently sent a pulse of calming magic into the other woman, soothing the raw edges of anxiety and grief, because getting very upset could bring on a miscarriage.

Regina sighed. "Thank you, Belle. I know what I should do, but I've never been very good about doing it."

"Neigh!" Abby picked up one of Henry's toy horses and pretended to run with it.

The women smiled at the little moppet, then took their tea once it had steeped out to the back veranda to sip it and relax, while Abby played on the lawn amid a profusion of wild flowers and Regina's apple trees.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Captain Gold gritted his teeth as his lame leg protested his sudden increase in speed, but he resolutely ignored the throbbing. He had lived with pain before on missions and exercises. This time would be no different. Ahead of him, he heard Peaceful bark and Bae and Robin suddenly come to a halt.

"Damn! I think she's lost it!" Robin swore.

"No, just give her a chance," Bae argued. "Look, she casting for it."

The collie snuffled the ground and the air, trying to catch the elusive scent of the crow mixed with human, which was what she had been tracking this entire time.

Rumple paused to mop some sweat from his brow discreetly. He was ashamed to let his sons see how woefully out of shape he was since his captivity. Once he would have kept up with them easily, and he could have run circles around every member of his company before breakfast. He had done his exercises faithfully when the Healers had assigned them to him in rehab, and still did them, but even strengthened, he was still a crippled wreck, he thought bitterly.

_You're a liability, Captain. You should just go home and leave the scouting to those who are most capable of it._

But he couldn't do that. He had made a promise and he had never broken a promise until Neverland and the hell on Skull Rock. He drew in a deep breath, fighting off the memories that threatened to overwhelm him. _Pull yourself together, Gold. You have to focus!_

He approached his sons and the dog. "What's wrong?"

Robin pointed to the collie who was questing back and forth. "I think she's lost the scent, Papa."

Gold studied the collie. "Hmm. Maybe not. Just wait."

Sure enough, about two minutes later, Peaceful tore off again and Robin and Bae ran to keep up with her. Gold could already tell she was headed towards the boundary wards.

When he finally caught up, Peaceful was whining agitatedly, and couldn't seem to find the scent.

Bae called to her and petted her. "Good girl!" He looked at his father. "Papa, she probably used her magic from here. Once outside the wards, she could do so without fear of being detected."

"I'd say you're right," Gold agreed. "You and Robin cast the locator spells on the scarf. I'll bring Peaceful home and tell your mother what we're doing on the mirror."

He called the collie over to him and Bae picked her up and gave her to his father. The small dog fit in Rumple's grip, she was only twenty-five pounds. "I'll be back. Don't go anywhere."

"We won't," Robin assured him.

Gold teleported back to Bae's house, fed Peaceful and made sure the dog was asleep before he went back to his own house to collect some things he would need for the journey.

He pulled out his leather apothecary case and filled it with some necessary potions. Healing draughts, pain relievers, strengthening solutions, and two vials of sleeping draughts. He could see Belle shaking her head as he placed them in the case. "It's just in case," he muttered to the figment of his imagination.

He then packed a rucksack of extra clothes, bandages, trail rations, a razor and some soapless shaving lather. He tucked a short dirk in his left boot, in the concealed pocket. If worst came to worst, and he were captured again, he would die before he submitted to anything.

Last but not least, he pulled out the mirror he used to communicate with his mages and headquarters in the field. "Belle," he called, and the mirror flared.

"Rumple?" Belle face appeared in the magical glass.

"I'm calling to tell you we're on the trail, and I just stopped back home to grab some things for the trip and bring Peaceful back. She's over at Bae's so please take care of her till we get back."

"I will, Rumple. Be careful."

"I'll try, dearie." He cleared his throat. "If . . .if I don't come home . . . remember I always loved you." He blinked back tears. He'd always hated goodbyes.

"Rumplestiltskin, I _will_ see you again," Belle told him firmly.

"Dearie, you know there's always a chance . . ."

"Not this time. You're coming home to me and to Abby. With Henry." She pierced him with her beloved hard as blue diamond gaze.

"All right."

"Don't humor me, Captain. Promise me."

"Belle . . ."

" _Promise_!" she insisted, her blue eyes now pleading and filled with tears.

How could he refuse her? Simple put, he couldn't. "I . . .promise . . ."

"I'll be right here waiting . . .and so will Abby." Belle promised, her eyes still misty. "Abby, say hello to Papa!" The mirror went blank for a bit and then it flared as Abby's tiny face appeared in it.

"Papa! When you comin' home?"

Rumple nearly felt his heart crack. "Uh . . . as soon as I finish this really important mission, sweetheart."

"When's that?"

"Soon as I can."

"I miss you," she pouted.

"I know. But I'm always with you, dearie. Even if you can't see me," he said hoarsely.

"You are?"

"Yeah. I'm the whisper on the wind and your imaginary friend." His throat had tightened so much it was a miracle he could even get the words out.

But it made his little girl smile and that was all that mattered. "Love you, Papa."

"Love you too, sprite. Now you be good for Mama till I come home, okay?"

"Uh huh!" She blew him a kiss.

Rumple blew her one back.

Then Belle came back on. "I love you, Rumple. And if you ever need me . . . call me."

"I will, dearie."

"I love you, Rumple."

"I love you too, Belle. Gold out."

The mirror darkened as he severed the connection. He bowed his head, fighting the urge to burst into tears. Ever since coming back from the hellhole on Neverland, his emotions were precarious and easily roused. But he knew this wasn't a result of his captivity. It was a result of his knowing there was a better than even chance he might never come home again. Realistically, he knew, like every soldier, that death walked in his shadow. But that didn't mean he was immune to the tender feelings that stirred in his breast. He loved his family, and never more so than now, when he had to walk away and leave them.

Then he did what he always did. He locked away his feelings in a box for the time being. Finding Henry was all that mattered.

He slung his pack over his shoulder and teleported back to where his sons waited, Robin holding the scarf which was glowing softly with an amber light.

"Papa, they went this way," he said, and the three began to follow the glowing scarf as the locator charm pulled them steadily onward.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Three cups of tea later, and one conversation by mirror, and Belle wasn't sure if she was going to float away from how much tea was inside her, or from gulping back her tears at knowing Rumple was once again going on a dangerous mission. Later, she promised herself, when Abby was in bed, she was going to have herself a good cry, since she knew bottling up her emotions was bad, especially for an empath.

Regina was looking at her with concern. She knew how hard it was to leave your family . .. and how hard it was on your family to watch you leave. "Belle, he'll come home. They all will."

"Do you believe that?" queried the Mind Healer softly. "Or are you trying to make me feel better?"

"That's your calling, not mine," laughed Regina. "I'm a soldier, I deal in death and telling people how it is. So yes, I do believe it. Rumple's a survivor, Belle. And he's taught that lesson to his sons."

"You're right. I guess I just . . am feeling sorry for myself," Belle sighed.

"We all go through that."

"Even you?" Belle drawled.

"Even me. The Evil Queen Bitch," laughed Regina. "As if you didn't know that."

Belle was about to respond to her friend's typical snarky wit, when she heard Abby yell, "Mama! Lookit! Bees! Bzz! Bzz!"

Belle looked up.

"Dear gods!" she shrieked. "Abby! Run!"

For there was a swarm of bees headed right for her vulnerable child, buzzing angrily.

Abby scrambled to her feet at her mother's cry of horror, but even running she would have never reached the safety of the porch in time.

Regina reached out with a hand and gestured.

Abby was transported up to the veranda.

At the same time, Belle narrowed her eyes and used her empathic magic to feel fear at the bees, making them halt in midswarm. Her eyes glowing fiercely, Belle sent another wave of fear at them, causing them to back off and start flying away.

Regina went and hugged Abby, thinking that Mind Healer or not, Belle Gold was no pushover in the magic department. People always tended to forget that, since Mind Healer powers were not flashy or obvious. But Rumple had always warned his recruits to never underestimate a Mind Healer. Anyone who could feel fear at someone was a force to be reckoned with, and Belle could feel fear at an entire crowd of people if she wished.

_All mages are dangerous, dearie, even the least trained apprentice. Because the magic responds to need and not always to will._

One of Rumple's sayings flashed through her head then, and she whispered, "Are you all right, Abby, darling?"

"Uh huh. Them bees were scary," Abby whimpered, and clutched Regina tight.

But only until Belle blinked, regained her focus, and then came to hug both her daughter and her friend as well. "Regina, thank you for saving her."

"I don't need to be thanked, Belle. You're family to me, and I always help my family."

Belle just prayed they could return the favor.

"You know that swarm wasn't natural. I've never seen bees swarm this late in the summer," she mused.

"I know," Regina said tightly. "My little sister's at it again." Then she thought, _Gold, please, for the love of all that's holy, kick her ass to hell._

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

The three members of Magical Mayhem followed the tracking spell as far as they could that day through the forest. As the light waned, and Bae didn't want them traveling at night, because it was too easy for Zelena to set a trap for them or for them to get careless and trip and fall in a hole, they called a halt and set up camp.

Neither scout was surprised when Rumple pulled out trail rations as well as small portable camp tea pot and a tin of strong tea and honey.

"Always be prepared, that's Papa's motto," laughed Robin upon seeing it.

"There something wrong with that?" his father asked.

"No. Just saying."

As they sat around the small fire waiting for the tea kettle to boil, Bae said, "This reminds me of the times we used to go camping when we were kids. Remember?"

"I remember you put fleabane down my pants," his twin groused.

"So? You put a frog in my bed."

"I remember how I was nearly driven crazy," Rumple remarked wryly.

"Aww, c'mon, Papa, we weren't that bad!" Robin protested.

"True," Captain Gold nodded. "You were worse."

" _Papa!_ " Both his sons groaned.

Captain Gold spread his hands, smirking impishly. "What?"

Bae pointed at his twin. " _He_ started it half the time!"

"What? No way, _you_ did," Robin protested.

"Like hell!"

"You did too!"

"How old are you?" Gold demanded. "Two or twenty-two?"

Both scouts looked ashamed.

"Thought so," their father said, thinking it still worked the way it used to—the Look of Doom.

Bae peered at his father. "Do you have any debriefing for us, sir?"

"Just be prepared for anything. And Henry is the priority. You do whatever you have to in order to get him home. I will not have a repeat of what happened last mission. Clear?"

The twins saluted smartly. "Yes, sir!"

" _Whatever_ you have to," Gold stressed. "I don't care if you roast that bitch over a fire or shove a stake up her ass. She's no longer worthy of the consideration I'd show a dead dog. She's beyond the pale and has crossed the line. I know there was something fishy about her when I began questioning her in my office. She was very argumentative and also very evasive. And you two know how I can spot a liar in two seconds."

"We sure do," agreed Robin. Both of the twins had been accomplished liars as teenagers . . .except when it came to their father.

"I believe that she was working with Pan, or something close to it," Gold continued. "I don't have the proof yet, but my gut tells me that fire that wa set . . .maybe wasn't the accident we all thought it was."

Bae looked grim. "You think it was deliberate, Papa? But why?"

"What's meat and drink to a dark sorcerer, Bae?" Gold asked bluntly.

"The death of innocents," his son replied immediately.

"Exactly." His father nodded in approval. "There's always been something slightly . . .shady and a little crazy about Lieutenant Green. I know that a lot of us have checkered pasts and many of us could be classed as slightly crazy by normal people. But she seemed almost crazed by jealousy . . .and the need to be better than Captain Mills. And that's something that doesn't just develop overnight."

"You think she was planning this for a long time?" Robin clarified.

"I do," Rumple said. "Or planning something like this, to make Regina look incompetent. Only it didn't quite work out that way." He rubbed his eyes. "Just remember what I said. Henry's your first consideration. Not me. You get that boy out of her hands, because she might do to him what Pan did to those other hostages . . ." His eyes darkened with remembered pain.

"We know, Papa. We won't let her torture him," Robin reassured him.

"It's not just that . . . though that was horrible enough . . ." He shuddered as the blood drenched memories awoke . . .and he heard Pan's voice crow mockingly in his head.

" _Ahh . . the taking of innocents . .their lives, their future, their virginity . . .how it fills me with joy and power! A power you'll never know, Gold, with all of your morals and values! In the end only one thing matters—power! And the sweetest power of all is one that is stolen from innocent youths!"_

_"You're a sick fuck!" Gold had spat, struggling to free himself of the magical chains that held him._

_"Ahh, but I enjoy what I do!" Pan cackled. "Now, watch, oh savior of children, while I have some fun!"_

_A small boy of about ten was dragged into the room by Pan's shadow entities. The boy began to sob in terror._

_Pan clucked to the child tenderly. "Oh, now don't cry. We're going to play a little game." He patted the boy gently, his hand lingering on the boy's bottom. He looked back at Gold, a diabolical smirk creasing his handsome features. "He's ripe. More power to me!"_

_The boy began to quiver. "Please . . .mister Pan . . .don't hurt me . . ."_

_"Hurt you? Why, I'd never do that," Pan crooned with false solicitousness. "I care for you very much, my lovely boy!"_

_"Pan, you sick fuck!" screamed Gold, pulling on his chains like a raging beast. "I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon!"_

_Pan laughed chillingly. "Not today, Captain. Today you will merely watch."_

_He gestured and Gold was frozen in place, unable to even shut his eyes, forced to watch until the horror was seared into his brain, never to be forgotten . . ._

"Papa? Papa!" called Bae, seeing his father's eyes darken and then go oddly blank. "Robin, I think . . .he's having a flashback."

"What can we do?" asked his twin worriedly.

"Nothing we can do . . .we're not Mind Healers like Mama, to go inside his head. I guess . . . we'll just have to wait it out."

"He's remembering something that happened on Skull Rock" Bae said through clenched teeth.

"Whatever the hell it is, it must be pretty bad."

"You can't imagine it unless you've been there," Gold said hoarsely. He blinked and was back in the here and now. "What was done to those poor kids . . . it's almost a blessing some of them died, may the gods forgive me. Because after what he did to some of them . . .they never would have been right again. He . . .took their innocence . . .and I watched it happen . . ."

His voice died to a raspy whisper, like sandpaper scratching across wood, and he turned and stared resolutely at the pine tree across from him, struggling to master the maelstrom inside of him. He couldn't fall apart here. Not now. It wasn't safe, and he was needed to rescue Henry. _You can become a sniveling drooling wreck later, Gold. For now, focus._

But two tears glistened on his lashes, and made their way in an invisible glide down his cheeks.

His sons saw, and were heartbroken, for they had seen their father cry a bare handful of times in their lives, and they knew it took something horrifying to bring him to that point. They exchanged glances.

Then Bae realized what Rumple must have seen. And he shut his eyes and whispered, "Aww hell no, Papa!"

Then he reached out and put a hand on his father's shoulder.

He expected Gold to shrug it off.

Instead he brought his own hand up and squeezed his son's hand hard.

Robin came and put his other hand on Rumple's opposite shoulder, and Gold gripped it as well.

Their touch seemed to bring him a measure of comfort.

For long moments they remained so, bound together by love and family and a loyalty so strong that not even death would break it. And it was that which enabled the captain to throw off the deadly fugue of despair that had engulfed him, drawing strength from his beloved family, and his indomitable will reasserted itself.

Gold released his boys' hands and wiped his tears away unashamedly. He had work to do. "All right. The pity party's over. Who takes first watch?"

"I will," Robin volunteered. He needed to be alone to think about what he had just realized, for it hadn't quite sunk in, but he knew one thing—he never could have endured what his papa had. He would have snapped like deadwood in a chilling frost. And his respect and devotion to Captain Gold went up several notches.

"Papa, you want another cup of tea?" Bae asked.

"Sure. Then we need to get some shut eye," Rumple said, hoping he could sleep tonight without the aid of the potion.

"Right." Bae filled the kettle with water.

Finding out about part of what his father had endured on Neverland didn't make Bae feel anything like revulsion towards the other man. Instead he felt proud . . .proud and honored to serve beside him.

And he always would.

Captain Gold was a legend among the mage companies. Not just because of what he had accomplished. But because he had endured and survived things that would have crushed any other soldier.

There was no one Bae would rather have at his back than Rumplestiltskin Gold. Because he would make sure, if anyone could, that his men had the best chance to survive the mission assigned and come home. And that was priceless.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

The next morning, the three broke camp with an easy efficiency which spoke of long familiarity. They were back on the trail as soon as they had breakfasted. The locator spell led them quite a long way through the forest, which all three men had expected. Robin even speculated that Zelena must have commandeered a ship to get to Neverland, and they were prepared to contact the Royal Navy again if necessary.

Until the scarf led them to the waterfall.

The Snowflake River that ran through the Enchanted Forest had its headwaters here, at this larger river, the Mystic. The Mystic was a huge river that flowed down from the northern mountains, frothing and churning and icy cold with the snowmelt.

The waterfall roared and thundered from the top of the headwaters and plunged down into the smaller river, making it bubble like a cauldron about to boil over. It was like a curtain of glass that couldn't break.

The three halted and gazed at the waterfall.

"Now what?" Robin frowned. "Is there some kind of passage behind the waterfall?"

"Not that I can see," Bae said, climbing upon a rock.

"Then why did the scarf lead us here?" frowned his twin.

Rumple was pondering something. Waterfalls were often a conduit for portal magic. Water conducted magical energy better than almost any other element, except earth. Could the waterfall be a portal?

He muttered a detect magic spell over it.

And he felt the sympathetic thrum of magic in return.

"Bae! Come here! This waterfall . . .it's got magical residue all over it. I think it was used as a portal conduit not long ago."

Bae jumped down. "Can it be reactivated?"

"Possibly. If we pay the right price," Rumple said.

"How do we figure that out?"

"We ask," Gold replied mysteriously. "Guardian of the mystic pool, I, Rumplestiltskin Gold, summon thee to ask a boon." He held his hands over the water and they glowed with blue light.

The water began to spin like a geyser and then it erupted high into the air. A being made almost entirely of flowing water emerged from it, shaped like a young woman with blue hair. "Who calls the Guardian of the Mystic?"

"I do. I wish to ask a boon of you," Gold said respectfully. Elementals such as this one were often unpredictable and coy and needed to be handled cautiously.

"Speak. But I cannot promise to answer."

"Recently another mage made a portal to a distant land using the waterfall. I want to know if I could reopen it and follow her through it."

The water nymph purred. "You could . . .if the price is right . . ." She looked at him speculatively.

"What is your price?"

"Something of great value . . .to one who loves you," the sly spirit replied.

Gold was flabbergasted. "The thing I love most?"

"Not you, sorcerer. One who loves you," laughed the Elemental. She tossed her head coyly. "Might you know what that is?"

"My wife . . .loves our daughter . . .and me . . ."

The undine glided to the edge of the river. "Indeed. But . . I am not so heartless as to demand your child, like some of my kind." She set her watery fingers upon Rumple's shoulders. He shivered at the icy feeling. "So . . . I shall play nice . . and only demand of you—a kiss."

"A kiss?"

"Yes. One kiss. On the mouth."

"Why not from me?" demanded Bae, knowing what it would cost his papa. "I'll give you a kiss."

"Me too," Robin offered, though he'd pray Marian and Emma never found out.

"No," the Elemental pouted. "He is the strongest, why should I settle for anything less. A kiss—magician! Or else you can find your own way to this land you seek!"

Rumple gnawed his lower lip. Time was of the essence. Or else he knew Zelena could sacrifice Henry. They couldn't afford to take the time to charter a ship to Neverland . . .and besides, who knew where Zelena was? He had to find the boy before something unspeakable happened to him.

_A Gold never breaks his promise._

Feeling slightly ill, he said, "Very well. One kiss." Then he leaned in and kissed the undine, very swiftly, on the mouth.

It was like kissing a mountain stream. His lips went blue. He didn't know what the undine felt, if anything.

"Humph!" she snorted. "I've had better. But a bargain is a bargain."

She threw out a hand and the waterfall shimmered and shuddered and ran with rivulets of rainbow light. "Your portal, magician!"

Rumple stepped through the portal unhesitatingly. "Much thanks, Guardian!" he called.

Then he turned around to speak to his sons when they came through. Only to find the portal was vanished. And he was alone again on the one place he had sworn never to return to.

Neverland.

Panicked, he spun around and began beating upon the rock that was there on the beach. "Open! Open dammit!"

He flung his hands out and tried to call back the magic of the portal, but the portal was no longer active from this side.

It was gone, and he was trapped. The portal was gone.

And above him loomed the shadow of Skull Rock, half burnt away, but the remaining portion still cast a long shadow. Trembling violently, he crumpled to the ground, whimpering.

_Being here was my undoing last time. I can't face this again!_

All of his resolve crumbled and he felt himself flung into a dark abyss, drowning in fear, regret, and darkness. Once again he was a prisoner, only this time there was no one to rescue him.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hope you liked the first chapter. Most of this story will be told through Rumple's eyes, sometimes through flashbacks, and as Belle does sessions with him you'll discover what he went through as Pan's prisoner. Occasionally this will get dark, but nothing graphic. Belle and Rumple's daughter, Abigail, will also play a major role here, Abigail's name means "a father's joy" and you'll see the reason I chose that in future chapters, as well as meet the rest of Rumple's company and family.


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